If he was still in the army like when you met, I would say you married into it but deciding to make a life changing decision/move now, it really needs to be discussed with you first.
I'm a RAAF wife, luckily for me we can stay in location. We have just moved but are here indefinitely now, it's still not home though! Things you can discuss with hubby when he isn't demanding you to move is discussing married unaccompanied. I'm not 100% but I "think" He can live on base for free, you can have rent allowance or a defence house (if you rent) and he gets 4 free trips home a year. It's a tough life and having children that have special needs makes it harder. Hope it all works out for all of you.