Op, if you're looking for a quick fix or some kind of technique to cure your daughter's fussy eating and she'll start suddenly becoming interested in food I assure you there isn't one.
You need to learn to let go, you can't control what or how much she eats. Life becomes a lot easier if you just accept she's small, fussy and eats like a sparrow. It's not bad parenting. It's not your fault.
Hugs again. No judgement here. I wish you could just relax a bit more. I have my moments too of utter dispair (like when we visit the inlaws for meal times, they are full of judgement, mealtimes are painful) but she is who she is, and eats what she needs.
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05-09-2016 07:22 #61
Starting pediasure for on a 2 year old
05-09-2016 07:43 #62
I guess I think the same way, but there does come a point where you just have to accept your kid barely eats. I struggle with this daily.
The website I posted summed up the responsibility of feeding - parents offer the food, kids choose what and how much to eat. You can't force a child to eat but you can control what you give them.
In fact my DS eats so little I don't care what he eats (within limits) offer her a hamburger or pizza if you think she will eat it! Just offer, offer, offer.
But if you really feel something more is up - something genetic or an intolerance, order the blood tests, but if they come back clear, you have to accept doctors have been right and she's healthy and just keep offering.
Kids will either just 'get it' at some point or continue to be fussy and small eaters - both of which we can't control. In fact they will be better off if meal times are positive and not full of stress and frustration and anger.
As the website says: Children have natural ability with eating. They eat as much as they need, they grow in the way that is right for them, and they learn to eat the food their parents eat. Step-by-step, throughout their growing-up years, they build on their natural ability and become eating competent. Parents let them learn and grow with eating when they follow the Division of Responsibility in Feeding.
The Division of Responsibility for infants:
The parent is responsible for what.
The child is responsible for how much (and everything else).
Parents choose breast- or formula-feeding, and help the infant be calm and organized. Then they feed smoothly, paying attention to information coming from the baby about timing, tempo, frequency, and amounts.
The Division of Responsibility for babies making the transition to family food:
The parent is still responsible for what,and is becoming responsible for when and where the child is fed.
The child is still and always responsible for how much and whether to eat the foods offered by the parent.
Based on what the child can do, not on how old s/he is, parents guide the child’s transition from nipple feeding through semi-solids, then thick-and-lumpy food, to finger food at family meals.
The Division of Responsibility for toddlers through adolescents
The parent is responsible for what, when, where.
The child is responsible for how much and whether.
Fundamental to parents’ jobs is trusting children to determine how much and whether to eat from what parents provide. When parents do their jobs with feeding, children do their jobs with eating:
Parents’ feeding jobs:
Choose and prepare the food.
Provide regular meals and snacks.
Make eating times pleasant.
Step-by-step, show children by example how to behave at family mealtime.
Be considerate of children’s lack of food experience without catering to likes and dislikes.
Not let children have food or beverages (except for water) between meal and snack times.
Let children grow up to get bodies that are right for them.
Children’s eating jobs:
Children will eat.
They will eat the amount they need.
They will learn to eat the food their parents eat.
They will grow predictably.
They will learn to behave well at mealtime.
05-09-2016 07:56 #63
I've look at Both DS blue books. DS who is 9 was in the 5th % for weight and 75th % for height now at 8wks we are still the same for weight but height we are 90th %. I'm not worried he is happy healthy and growing in length at a rapid weight it's his genetics to be like this. My oldest DS was the 25th % for weight and 98th % for length and now 9 yrs later he still is the same. Skinny as a green bean and struggles with his weight. As a lot of people have said sometimes we need to let go of how much our kids eat as when they are hungry they will ask for food and not refuse it. You'll also know when DD is in a growth spurt her clothes will be shorter on her not lose. We are having a spurt atm with the amount of food being eaten then we'll go back to not much.
Write all the suggestions now that you've been offered on here and take it to your paed which ever munt it is. I'm guessing Chris as I know your close to Ashford with other discussions we've had about kindy etc
05-09-2016 07:57 #64
The OP has repeatedly posted threads about her daughter's feeding and growth. And been given tons of advice. I have often replied.
Can I also kindly offer the same advice... stop stressing about it. I mean that in the nicest way. You've had input from doctors and specialists and you've seen enough that if.. IF... there really was an issue with being underweight or malnourished I do doubt they'd not notice.
The charts are a spectrum. ..there has to be someone at the 3rd centile and someone at the 90th. And as you have said. .she's energetic, meeting milestones etc etc. Her development and energy are a key part here. Trust me, you'd be seeing a lot more issues with development and sleep and energy if she wasn't getting enough calories.
Some people have small appetites too. And are petite!
Obviously I'm not a doctor. .Nor do I know your child. .. but the more you stress about this the less you are enjoying her.
05-09-2016 08:02 #65
I have phil Munt, he did do bloods last year for genetic/chromosome. That came back as short structure. And told me she will only 5cm a year, she's grown 8cm in 6months. So that went out the door.
I wouldn't mind a general blood test, just to see how she is going.
Your right about kids going taller also, that could be possible, my mother says that. I will see.
I did look at the site and I have taken a few things on board.
05-09-2016 08:08 #66
I know @Tamtam we have often spoken, maybe the issue is me. And the stress I give out she picks it up. This I believe.
Dr P Munt is at Bedford park. I'm closer there.
Yes it's genetics, I'm short myself. She has small legs but a bigger top (length)
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05-09-2016 08:37 #67
His building at Bedford park has been knocked down with those roadworks. You may want to check the address, unless he's moved into another Bedford park location??
05-09-2016 09:12 #68
The food diary will hopefully help ease some of your stress about her eating. It's important to look at their overall eating over a week or 2. It's hard in the moment of a super fussy mealtime to keep perspective that they are actually eating okay-ish over the course of the week. In the past 24 hours she has eaten almost half an avo and a whole egg. That's a lot of nutrient dense food. Now her body has had a good 'dose' of protein and fats you may find she just feels like fruit for the next 2 days. I know if I go out for a ridiculous pub-size steak I cannot look at red meat for nearly a week later. My body is telling me it doesn't need. I've noticed both my kids (the good eater and the fussy one) are the same with high protein foods, especially meat and eggs.
The paed may see that her overall diet is lacking in carbohydrates, in which case pediasure may be a good choice. I certainly didn't want to come across as negative about it due to the sugars (which are carbohydrates), I just decided it wasn't the right choice to "fill the gaps" in my son's limited diet as he will eat savoy crackers and sugary yoghurt until the cows come home. So, for him, I looked for something with more protein and micronutrients.
I agree with every PP who has said
1. There is no quick fix. It takes time and a lot of patience to help a fussy eater to become a more confident and adventurous eater,
2. Try not to stress (haha, easier said than done - I know), and
3. Throw any anxieties about keeping their eating "healthy" out the window. Feed them what they will eat. I would have had more chance of getting my son to eat a chia seed if I mixed it in with the sand in his pit than putting in his food. A pretty fast way for me to ensure that a normally eaten food would get refused would be to try and "healthy version" it.
05-09-2016 10:29 #69
05-09-2016 10:31 #70
You all have been so wonderful, I can't thank you enough. I just wanted to add that in.
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