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  1. #11
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    I'd be okay with it as they're not staying at your house.

    Have you asked what their plans are for Christmas day? You may be getting worked up over nothing and they have already planned to have it elsewhere.
    If it ends up being at your house, keep it as low key as possible and don't be afraid to give each person a specific task or dish to bring.

  2. #12
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    Oh no they are the sort of people who will want to hang around all day every day for their whole trip? I'm freaking out at the mere thought of it.
    I love having people over but I also love it when they are gone. So I would do something like organise brekkie on Xmas day and make it clear that they are expected to be gone by a certain time. Mornings are good in my house, everyone gets a bit feral in the arvo. I usually use DD's nap time as an excuse. I'll say something like "DD will be going to bed in 30 min - do you want me to wrap up your leftovers/wash up your Tupperware etc". Might come across as mean to some, but I get stressed when the house is a mess and full of people, and it's so much worse when your sleep deprived trying to manage a newborn.
    Maybe then in the arvo you could arrange for your DH to take the other children to meet them at a local park or beach? Then you have the option of staying home or coming depending on how you feel. Or have a cold leftover dinner that they can come back for. Then you can go to bed if you get tired!

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  4. #13
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    Since they've already booked and there is no changing that, I'd turn it around - tell them "Great! With a 4 week old baby we're planning on spending most of the day in bed catching up on sleep, so it'll be great to have you to organise, cook and clean up after Xmas lunch!"

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    BornToBe  (31-08-2016)

  6. #14
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    I'm so glad I'm not the only one who would feel stressed/overwhelmed by this idea!

    I am hearing you mummas who can jump out of bed a few days after childbirth and take over the world. Sooo not me. I'm the opposite and actually have been very weak after my previous two, so now know that I need to plan long recovery/slow period.

    Not a chance they don't intend spending it with us - we are the only reason they are visiting, they don't know anyone else here and it's definitely to spend Christmas here/with us. It's just like a given that we will make ourselves available the whole time. I'm usually just fine with it (they visit a few times per year) it's just the circumstances.. I feel like we need to put ourselves first for a change, you know?

    I am loving the firm boundary ideas, the telling them it's nap time (so goodbye, now!) and the just doing breakfast and then having a lazy afternoon just us.

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  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentoo View Post
    Since they've already booked and there is no changing that, I'd turn it around - tell them "Great! With a 4 week old baby we're planning on spending most of the day in bed catching up on sleep, so it'll be great to have you to organise, cook and clean up after Xmas lunch!"
    Hahaha, love it. I could actually do that and enjoy it if it were my mum and a couple other close people, but sadly not these ones. And I don't even think it's malicious, more just... thoughtless.

  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    Interstate (family) guests visiting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Didn't discuss with us first, just bought the flights and booked accommodation.

    I am due to give birth November 22nd (so will have a 4 week old baby).

    Feeling stressed about it. Am I over reacting? How will I cater to people on the day - I'll want to be in bed for most of it! Should hubby just do it all? Should we tell them to bugger off? Should I relax and just let it happen however it happens.

    Do other people's families ever just announce they are coming without discussing it? We are close but not super close with a definite rocky history of disagreements and fights. They are not the type to help in any way, wash up, play with the kids or suggest contributing to preparing the meal.
    I do think your over reacting.
    Why do you think you will want to be in bed for most of it?
    A 4 week old baby generally is pretty easy going feeding and sleeping so you would be able to go about preparing, entertaining etc.
    It's christmas, enjoy. I say just relax and let whatever happens happen.
    The week after ds2 was born we had ds1's 3rd birthday and family reunion and the days after I was out of hospital after having ds3 we had another huge family function. Just go with the flow and not worry so much 😁

  10. #17
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    The reason why I "think" that is because I know that. It's my third child and I know how I cope with the newborn stage. And the answer is, physically not very well.

    Also, I'm afraid not all babies just eat, sleep and be merry while mum gets on with life.

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  12. #18
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    Default What are your thoughts on this?

    If they knew you were pregnant it's a bit funny that they didn't mention it, but, if they're not expecting to stay with you then it shouldn't really be an issue should it??

    If in the lead up you're enjoying their company, you could go out for xmas day. Or, if you've had a crapola night with the baby, just say you're not up to it.

    You never know, they may help you out heaps whilst they're around, fingers crossed!

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    BornToBe  (31-08-2016)

  14. #19
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    Not for Xmas but my ILs once announced they'd be coming to visit for 6 weeks ish (we lived interstate) and I said "oh, what a shame you didn't check with us before making plans we already have visitors at the same time so won't be able to hang out much". They cancelled the trip.

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    BornToBe  (31-08-2016)

  16. #20
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    Hit reply too soon - you are well within your rights to set boundaries and have your husband enforce them. Focus on your own recovery and your own little family.

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