It's not that I can't be there for her, it's more that there is only so much I can do. I feel that professional help is what is best, but it's difficult to get her to see that.
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26-08-2016 14:31 #11
26-08-2016 14:31 #12
Argh. BH ate my response. Will try to remember what I wrote (but dot point this time).
I posted the last one too early.
- the EPND Scale is what the GP will do. Print it off for her. She could do it and take it with her and then not even need to talk to the GP.
- The support you have already offered is great. She may not actually know what she needs, or be able to actually say it. I just needed company and to hear I wasn't a bad mum. I don't think a meal would be seen as intrusive. It would be a worry off her mind
- regarding telling your hubby - that's your call. I guess you need to consider if he will act differently around her if he knows, and whether she or her child are at risk of harm.
- She may not realise that she could have PND. It's hard to see from the inside. She may also not be able to make the call about thw doctor. I couldn't even decide what I was going to eat. Maybe next week ask her how she is going, and then say you're concerned about what she's told you. Could she call and make an appointment now, and you will take her.
26-08-2016 14:36 #13
My husband actually doesn't know who she is so he wouldn't have an opportunity to act differently toward her. I did say he doesn't see her much, but thinking about it, I'm not sure he's even met her.
I'll see how things go next week. I think she's told her husband a few little things like being worried she'll drop the baby and not wanting to go out, but he just dismisses it. And she dismisses it too. I feel the next time I talk to her shell pretend nothing happened and all is fine.
(BTW, bh didn't eat your post lol)
26-08-2016 15:08 #14
It did on my app!! But it is back now π
If she's having intrusive thoughts about hurting the baby, then she really needs help sooner rather than later. And she needs to know they are just thoughts, they aren't her, and it doesn't mean that it's going to happen (or that she will spill coffee on the baby/drop them/etc). I have a friend that went through that. The thing with intrusive thoughts is that just ignoring it often causes it to escalate, and happen more often (theres a scientific reason as to why but I can't remember all of it at the moment).
The best thing a friend did for me was to come and pick me up and take me out. She didn't give me a choice. Just said she'd be there at 10. I felt so much better for getting out of the house.
If she pretends all is fine, try calling her out (gently though), because it probably won't take much for her to change her tune.
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26-08-2016 17:21 #15
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26-08-2016 17:23 #16
Any time! Glad I could help. Also really glad that she felt she had someone to reach out to who wants to help (even if you aren't really close!). You are a wonderful person xx
26-08-2016 18:07 #17
26-08-2016 19:09 #18
I saw it. I completely understand where you were coming from. Some people reach out in weird ways. You can't read her mind. I held myself really well for the public eye. Most people IRL have no idea. I haven't even told most of my family (because I couldn't take on their stressing about my mental health, not because I was/am ashamed of it). Home was a different story.
Now you've realised, you're still willing to be there. That means a lot to someone who's struggling.
26-08-2016 19:15 #19Senior Member
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- Sep 2009
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26-08-2016 19:17 #20
You're on here asking for advice about what to do, how to help. It shows you care
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