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  1. #1
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    Default 35 weeks pregnant and severely homesick

    Hi I've recently just joined Bubhub. I am originally from London and moved here with my husband in January 2016 (he's from Australia). I am 35 weeks pregnant with our first baby which is due in October. We're currently living in Melbourne and we're both working.

    Neither of us particularly like Melbourne - haven't settled in here or made friends etc, so we have decided to try Sydney out and will move there in Feb next year.

    Right now, I'm feeling ever more down about how to cope with a newborn without any family or friends. I know hormones probably has a huge part to play in it, but I'm just concerned that these feelings will get worse.

    I've really struggled to integrate well here in Melbourne and I'm not sure why as I've moved around the UK a fair bit and always found it relatively easy to make friends.

    So I guess what I'm asking is, are there any other ex-pat mums out there who are living in either Melbourne or Sydney that are in the same or similar boat who would like to meet up? It's so darn hard doing a pregnancy without any support and much as my husband has been wonderful, it's not the same and I miss the support of a group of female friends.

  2. #2
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    Hi Ronnie!
    Couldn't read and not reply! Any plans for your mum or inlaws to visit?
    I'm scottish and live in Sydney, currently 30 weeks with #2. Id be happy to meet for a play when you get to Sydney. I'm quite fortunate that I have my parents and brother here but can totally imagine how hard it must be for you. Hugs

  3. #3
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    Hi op! Congrats on your pregnancy.
    I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I can only imagine how challenging it would be. Everyone's experience is so different but I have found that when you have your first baby LOTS of new social networks open up to you. Mothers groups, playgroup, baby library groups, mums and bubs fitness groups, baby swim classes..... You get my point. Also I just randomly chat to other mums at the park with kids that play with my kids. It seems to be a little bit of luck wether you stumble upon groups that have other mums that you click with or not but just keep joining them until you find a good one. Your problem is that its a little while before you have bub in your arms to take to these groups. Maybe you could look up your local child health nurse and ask if she knows of any social groups for pregnant mums in the area. Or you could join something like an antenatal yoga class. Get there 10min early each week and see if there is any other mums that you could strike up a conversation with. Also maybe try facebook. Just search for mothers group+(your suburb). Or maybe look up the Australian breastfeeding association in your area. They have weekly meet ups. Good luck finding your tribe. Hopefully in time you will find some amazing women to build friendships with. Good luck. X

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ronniethered View Post
    Hi I've recently just joined Bubhub. I am originally from London and moved here with my husband in January 2016 (he's from Australia). I am 35 weeks pregnant with our first baby which is due in October. We're currently living in Melbourne and we're both working.

    Neither of us particularly like Melbourne - haven't settled in here or made friends etc, so we have decided to try Sydney out and will move there in Feb next year.

    Right now, I'm feeling ever more down about how to cope with a newborn without any family or friends. I know hormones probably has a huge part to play in it, but I'm just concerned that these feelings will get worse.

    I've really struggled to integrate well here in Melbourne and I'm not sure why as I've moved around the UK a fair bit and always found it relatively easy to make friends.

    So I guess what I'm asking is, are there any other ex-pat mums out there who are living in either Melbourne or Sydney that are in the same or similar boat who would like to meet up? It's so darn hard doing a pregnancy without any support and much as my husband has been wonderful, it's not the same and I miss the support of a group of female friends.
    Thanks PinkTutu - that would be great. Good luck with number 2

  5. #5
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    I realise this was months ago, but wanted to see how you're doing. I'm a Canadian living in Australia, and when my first son was born we had no one. I literally had no friends, knew about two people in the country besides my husband, and was beyond miserable. And I'll be honest, the first few months of my son's life were hell. The only thing that kept me going was a mums group I joined on Facebook. It didn't replace my family, or make it all ok - but I wasn't completely alone. Six years later, I still have a dozen friends from that group (despite four moves around the state since then) several of whom will drop everything to be there if I need them. The best thing you can do is find like minded friends with kids, even if that means online. And if you have family overseas, beg them to visit. If you find yourself struggling and don't know where to turn, go to your GP and ask for help. I was assigned a social worker when my son was born, and she visited under the guise of "welfare check" but really, she just showed up every week and held my son for an hour so I could eat, shower or do laundry.
    And when all else fails, don't underestimate the power of Skype. That's how my son knows his family. He met my mum for the first time at three months, and then didn't see her again until a year later - but we set up Skype weekly and at fifteen months he ran to her and gave her a hug at the airport.

  6. #6
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    Hi, I know this was a while ago now but I'm going through some pretty severe homesickness and anxiety since having my first born child. He's 4 months now and the homesickness is so so bad - I'm misesrable! I'm married to an Australian and I can't help think that I've done this too myself - I decided to marry him - I've got myself into this mess!! We plan to save and move somewhere closer to uk that has seasons, history, architecture etc and that we both would like to live but I get very worried that I am stuck here! I just feel that when the time comes then my husband may dig his heels in and say no. To make matters worse my MIL is now planning to move to the same city to be close to us. I'm not her biggest fan and the thought of her getting to spend so much time with my son compared to my parents in the UK upsets me deeply. I'm a miss with the thought of her moving and my need to be closer to my family. Has anyone else felt like this?


 

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