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  1. #11
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    I'm reading an amazing book called "liberating motherhood". The intro felt like she'd gone into my head and read my thoughts! It's a great read but also kind of depressing to realise this negativity towards mothers, especially mothers who aren't working isn't just in my head!
    One thing I am pleased about in my situation is that we have 1 joint account that dp's salary goes into. I know more about our finances than he does! He has some shares and things separate from this but all day to day stuff goes through this one account. No way would I have lasted this long at home if I had to ask him for money. Neither of us spend much money on ourselves. We don't have nice clothes and never go out. Daily living expenses and travel as both our parents are overseas is where most of the money goes. But it made me wonder is this not the norm to have 1 account? I can imagine when both parents work some people might prefer to have their own account but for those relying on 1 wage do you have 1 account and do you have control of the money?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I'm reading an amazing book called "liberating motherhood". The intro felt like she'd gone into my head and read my thoughts! It's a great read but also kind of depressing to realise this negativity towards mothers, especially mothers who aren't working isn't just in my head!
    One thing I am pleased about in my situation is that we have 1 joint account that dp's salary goes into. I know more about our finances than he does! He has some shares and things separate from this but all day to day stuff goes through this one account. No way would I have lasted this long at home if I had to ask him for money. Neither of us spend much money on ourselves. We don't have nice clothes and never go out. Daily living expenses and travel as both our parents are overseas is where most of the money goes. But it made me wonder is this not the norm to have 1 account? I can imagine when both parents work some people might prefer to have their own account but for those relying on 1 wage do you have 1 account and do you have control of the money?
    I'm a SAHM and DH works full time

    We have one account and very similar to you- I know more about finances than DH. I draw up a fortnightly budget and we both try to stick to it.
    Also, don't ask to spend money but like you rarely spend a lot/ much on each other anyway.

    The only time I think DH got a little cranky with me re. Finances was when I got a speeding ticket. He made a joke about it but I think he was pretty annoyed really

  3. #13
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    I'm not a SAHM but I can relate to how you feel. I was a single mum on Centrelink and working minimal hours. It wasn't enough for me financially, especially with the changes to Newstart, but I felt stuck because I had no real skills, and was limited in my options due to being on my own & needing to rely on child care. I ummed and aahed about studying for the same reason - anything I was interested in really wasn't all that flexible. Some uni courses are but doing them part time meant 8 years of study! Which wouldn't help me financially in the meantime.

    I would say while your kids are little, updating your admin skills is a great option. Admin is such a diverse area! And, keep an open mind. Check job ads, apply for a few, just suss out the situation. Even if you get an interview you don't have to take the job. I had 2 or 3 interviews for things that really weren't suitable after all, and that helped me narrow down my field. After a while I got a part time job in school hours doing admin/reception/client services. Quite basic stuff, but it works for me. DD requires minimal care (next year it'll be none as she'll be in school), I get out of the house each day, and now that I've repartnered I feel like I'm contributing. Making the decision to study, or look for work isn't locking you into anything. Just try it & see how you go!

  4. #14
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    Another option might be to pick an organisation that you want to get into and then apply for their lower paid roles. Once you are in then you can work your way up. I decided i wanted a government job so i applied for all the admin and call centre roles. Finally got into the call centre. Within 5 years i was in the IT role that i wanted. Didn't even matter that i already had a bachelor of multimedia. All they wanted was someone who was motivated.

    Don't look at the lower paid jobs as dead ends or a waste of time. Get into a company that offers the job you ultimately want.

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