I was both a victim of bullying and a bully. I'm not proud to have been either. At both my primary and secondary schools there was 0 recognition of bullying or anything done about it. But I was never in the 'popular' group so no, I guess I wasn't a 'mean girl' like the movie.
After my school experience I have always taken bullying very seriously as a teacher and will be doing my best to equip my kids with the social skills to assist them in avoiding becoming bullied or being a bully.
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18-08-2016 17:08 #11
18-08-2016 17:14 #12
Not really. I was never a bully type. I could be a little bit of a smart ar$e bish at times.
If I didn't like someone there was a good reason for it, and if someone got on my bad side I would usually
not let it slide without lashing out a little.
There was a group of girls in late high school that I considered 'enemies' and I did pull a few pranks on them (including a 'flaming bag'). I'm sure they thought I was a bit mean
18-08-2016 17:21 #13
I'll admit I was mean girl for about a year in grade 9. I bullied another girl who had previously been a friend. I won't make any excuses, there were no excuses for my behaviour, although there were some factors that influenced my behaviour at the time:
- Another friend told me that she'd been lying and spreading rumours about me. So I retaliated.
- This other friend held a lot of influence over me, I was very lost at the time, she was a year older, and I really looked up to her. She was the instigator of a lot of bullying and I followed. I later discovered through a justified kick up the butt from karma that she was a sociopath and it all came back to me 10 fold!
- I was living in a physically and emotionally abusive environment at home. I felt so powerless at home that it felt good to be able to exert power over others.
Having said all that, there was still no excuse, I knew better and I did it anyway. I have always carried guilt over the way I treated the girl that I bullied. After year 9 I changed schools and didn't bully anymore, but I was still a bit of a bish and I think I went on the offense as a defence/survival mechanism. So was probably still seen as a bit of a mean girl.
After my kick up the butt from karma I went through many years of self-reflection and change, and I make a concious effort now to be careful with the words I choose, to be empathetic and understanding, and to try to always be kind. Doesn't always work, no one's perfect! But I do try my best!
18-08-2016 18:02 #14
Are you/Were you a Mean Girl?
high school years were filled with the usual insecure teenage girl crap, magnified I think by attending an all girls school. when there's no boys around as distraction, what else is there to do!?
I don't consider myself a mean person now as an adult. sure there are things I don't like/don't agree with/think are naff. sometimes I voice my opinion. I'm fairly blunt and tend to be quite forthright in the way I articulate things. I guess when people don't know me, it could be taken the wrong way or seen as a bit much.
ETA: I've never bullied anyone intentionally or set about victimizing anyone. there are people I dislike but unless they really get in my face, I'll generally behave civilly towards them. in front of them anyway lol.
18-08-2016 18:58 #15
No definitely not. I have since discovered though that people thought I was a snob. Like a pp I rarely engaged with people because I was crazy shy and socially anxious - not getting my period or my first bra until after high school, weighing about 30kgs at 17 and being a red head didn't exactly make me fit in lol so I kept mostly to myself.
18-08-2016 21:40 #16
There was a group of girls at my school who were awful bullies, they called me fat (I was tiny) and tried to embarrass me a lot. In hindsight I think they felt threatened that I was the new girl in year 10 and got some attention. I don't think I was a bully but I definitely *****ed about these girls behind there backs, mostly because they were awful to me. I had such a great group of friends though, am still besties with 3 of them 11 years later
18-08-2016 21:54 #17
Are you/Were you a Mean Girl?
Gosh I really don't know! I don't think so. I was a muso so I was a nerd but I also drank a bit so got invited to the parties and was left well enough alone bullying wise.
I do remember being horribly bullied by one guy over the size of my b00bs in Year 8. It didn't last for long til I went to the principal but he was the one person in my life I will never ever talk to. Sometimes I see him around and I feel ill. I know I should be more forgiving but ugh he was awful. This was just one short occasion of my life and it still sticks with me 25 years later so I can't imagine how awful it is for people who experience worse bullying.
My group of friends was very tight (still friends today) and apart from that I didn't speak to many other people, so don't think I can have been too awful?
18-08-2016 22:16 #18
Last edited by Marchbundle; 18-08-2016 at 22:19.
18-08-2016 22:20 #19
I was nerdy, terrible acne, awful hair. If I was mean it was more a defense mechanism. I am fairly direct, so often came across as a bit of a bish.
I was also fairly sporty, so while I wasn't in the popular group (by a long way), they weren't particularly mean to me as I was occasionally useful for a sporting team or to explain quadratic equations.
18-08-2016 22:27 #20
Are you/Were you a Mean Girl?
I was bullied something shocking. Year 8 was the worst.
The fat and ugly girl with horrible hair gave me the nickname snuffy (think Mr snufelupagus) early on. I was alienated from any friendship group I became part of because of things she and others said about me.
I think I was too 'chirpy' in year 8 and it just wasn't cool I guess to be enthusiastic about making new friends and life in general, there were a few people determined to bring me down.
So no I wasn't and no I'm not now. Bullying is a horrible horrible thing and I would never on purpose subject anyone to that.
PS: I don't usually think of people as fat and ugly but I use those words in relation to this person as she was just an absolute bish!
Looking back on it now, I can only assume she wasn't confident in herself and I was confident and bubbly so she must have wanted to one up herself.
My self esteem has never gotten back to what it was in primary school, I still never feel good enough, I'm always second guessing myself and wondering if I'm behaving or acting the 'right' way and I care too much about what others think of me. It's making me emotional just thinking about it.
If I ever find out either of my kids are bullies they won't know what's hit them! There will be some very harsh consequences dealt out!
Last edited by A-Squared; 18-08-2016 at 22:31.
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