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  1. #1
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    Default Separation and baby name

    My ex and I are no longer together and haven't been since I was 3 weeks pregnant (but didn't know).

    I just want to advice / experience other mums have had in regards to naming the baby ?

    My ex and I aren't on good terms and we haven't been together for nearly the whole pregnant so I want the baby to have my last name and I already have a pretty good idea of their first and middle names might be (whether they are a boy or girl).

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated

    Thank you x

  2. #2
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    I'd definitely give the baby your last name. But I think giving automatically giving children their fathers's last name is a horribly outdated and sexist tradition anyway.
    But even more so in your case, if the father isn't that involved, if you're going to be the primary care giver, then it's totally reasonable for them to have your surname.
    But... if there is going to be a relationship with the father I would also offer to give his surname as a middle name, or let him contribute to choosing the first and middle names.

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    If he disputes it I think BDM gets to decide on the name. My friend wasn't with the father and they couldn't agree on a middle name so BDM said no middle name

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    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    I'd definitely give the baby your last name. But I think giving automatically giving children their fathers's last name is a horribly outdated and sexist tradition anyway.
    But even more so in your case, if the father isn't that involved, if you're going to be the primary care giver, then it's totally reasonable for them to have your surname.
    But... if there is going to be a relationship with the father I would also offer to give his surname as a middle name, or let him contribute to choosing the first and middle names.
    Yep this, looks like you'll be raising bubs mostly on your own so would definitely give him/her your last name. I was in a similar situation when I had my DD and gave her my surname, zero regrets
    I'd probably choose bubs first name too, if he doesn't object when you get him to sign the birth certificate (if you get him to) then it's win win

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    I think many mums name baby with the father's surname and go on to regret it... go with your name. If you really want the back up option, you can put your ex's name in as well as yours (not hyphenated, just two surnames) then choose to use either name later in life.

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    This was what happened to me with my first DS who is 9. He has my surname as I never changed it even when I got married. If your going to raise bubs alone it is the best way to go. Just remember if you leave him of the birth certificate Centrelink will want to know why and they will want proof that he wants nothing to do with the child as this also affects your Tax A same goes for child support you'll need proof that you make an effort to collect it from him

    Go with your name and if he is going to sign the certificate he may question why aswell the child won't have your name

    My second DS has my surname to match my first DS and I'm with the dad he wants the kids to be the same on name and even said he would take my name if we where to marry one day. Times are changing


 

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