Just wanting to get some advice on what others have experienced in tasmania.
I left my partner when I was about 4 weeks pregnant but didn't know I was pregnant until I was 10 weeks.
My ex is a narcissistic, selfish prick and emotional abused me (the reason I left).
I'm starting to speak with lawyers about child support and visitation rights but really unsure where to start and if an agreement can't be met and the case goes to court what might a judge award him.
He most certainly isn't capable of being a father as he is too selfish and arrogant to think of anyone else but himself (goes away every weekend - fishing, hunting, mates houses)
Some might say he will change but I was with this guy for a very long time and I know that he won't especially when he encourages his friend who has children to leave them every weekend with his partner so my ex doesn't go away alone....
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all
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14-08-2016 07:50 #1Junior Member
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- Aug 2016
Tasmanian custody of new born arrangements
14-08-2016 09:27 #2
No matter which state you are in, the courts will try and act in the best interests of the child at all times, and in most cases (unless there is a legitimate reason not to) they will grant some form of visitation.
In my limited experience I have found that the matter of access is usually decided on an age-appropriate basis. For example, with a newborn it may be that your ex will only receive short periods of visitation during the week, and time perhaps on a weekend - in your presence if you are still breastfeeding your child.
As the child gets older the level of access is usually extended, progressing towards 'every second weekend' type arrangements for example, until the child reaches their teenage years. Arrangements for teenagers can lend themselves quite well to the traditional "Every second weekend, week about, half the holidays, every second Christmas" sort of deal. Personally, I think that things will be easier on you both if you can come to a mutual agreement yourselves, rather than allowing the courts to dictate visitation guidelines to you.
One thing I will respectfully say is that the courts do not look kindly upon opinions such as "He will be a bad Father because he is selfish." That may well be your personal opinion, but it will have little to no weight in court, and in fact may work against you rather than in your favour.
The best result you will be able to achieve is when the two of you agree to act solely in the best interests of your child, and put your own differences aside. At the end of the day, the court's decision will not take into account bitterness between either party in relation to their former relationship - it will focus on the child's needs, and (barring exceptional circumstance) your child has a right to have a relationship with their father, no matter what your relationship is/was like with him.
Last edited by Blossom74; 14-08-2016 at 12:03.
15-08-2016 06:43 #3Junior Member
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- Aug 2016
Sorry I wasn't very clear on why I consider him selfish - my parent gave me 5 grand for our first round of IVF and he spent it all on gambling ... Even when he knew what it was for and the reason why we had to consider children so early in our lives ...
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01-09-2016 20:46 #4
I completely understand why you would consider him to be selfish based on that information but I stand by my original comments - the Courts will not even consider that fact in making their ruling for child access.
As unfair as it might sound in light of your experiences with this man, I still believe that unless there are extenuating circumstances (drugs, violence etc) it is in your child's best interests to be able to see their father and the courts will more than likely grant him some age-appropriate visitation.
Yes, he did wrong by you. And if he spent money that was earmarked for IVF you have done well to be rid of him! But unfortunately I doubt that will have any bearing on child access orders. Just my personal opinion....
I'm sorry. I know that's not what you wanted to hear.
Last edited by Blossom74; 01-09-2016 at 20:55.
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