We only ever go out on kid free weekends when our kids are with our exes, so sleep isn't an issue. But our version of going out consists of something like a pub meal and a movie. Definitely nothing wild and never out really late. I literally HATE staying out past midnight. Did it a few times when I was still working and I am no longer cut out for staying up late.
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12-08-2016 13:40 #11
12-08-2016 14:06 #12
My problem isnt so much relaxing when I get a night out, its more what do I talk to people about besides kids?? I have no other conversation topics anymore...
But when we have a big night out the next day is a lazy day. Normally i let dh have a sleep in and i get up with the kids then when ds has a nap I do too and dh looks after the kids for the afternoon and i relax. Cleaning the house can wait for another day. We have a lazy day
12-08-2016 14:27 #13
Yes I enjoy the very odd night out I have without the boys. Late nights don't bother me so much when you can laze around the next day, it's the drinking and feeling the effects of it the next day when having to deal with the kids I don't miss and avoid. There isn't many opportunities dh and I get to go out without the boys but it doesn't bother us as we like having the boys with us. I have my first girls night out in a few years next Saturday night and intend to enjoy it but not overdrink.
12-08-2016 14:58 #14
I still love to go out, not as late as I used to but don't mind being out until midnight - 1am. I like the chance to get dressed up and feel like I am someone else apart from 'mummy'. The next day might suck but I'll get over it! That said, my kids don't wake until 7.30 - 8, I might feel differently if it was 5am.
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Lil M (12-08-2016)
12-08-2016 15:22 #15
DH and I dont often get a chance to go out together (maybe 3 - 5 times a year) but we try to alternate who goes out (him with the guys, me with the girls) at least once every few weeks. This doesnt always mean lots of drinks and a late night, but if that does happen then we have each others back and take care of the kids whilst the "tired" one has a sleep in. I truly believe that letting your hair down is important, keeps me sane anyway.
12-08-2016 15:51 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
The last time we went out for dinner MIL came and put DD to sleep. The night started off badly as she came with BIL who was quite drunk and they were 45 mins late because of this, so we ended up rushing and I felt quite stressed.
We had a great time but when we got back at 10:30 DD was, for some reason, awake. MIL was in her room as apparently she 'woke up coughing'. Anyway, that was it then, she didn't go back to sleep until 3am and was up at 7am for the day
It ruined the evening and when it turned out that DD woke up because MIL went in her room and made a noise its put us off going out again tbh. We've said if people can't follow simple instruction its just easier to stay home! She is the only person we can ask and its just too hard. I can't drink atm anyway but drinking and then having to get up and deal with a toddler is just too hard! Add lack of sleep into the mix and no thanks!
Last edited by Molros; 12-08-2016 at 15:52. Reason: typo
12-08-2016 16:52 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2016
I enjoy going out, but don't exactly want to 'get drunk'. Most of all I just want to have uninterrupted conversations with adults!
12-08-2016 17:15 #18
Yep, If I go out I make the most of it and DH can deal with the next day! If we both were invited to a "big night" we'd go for it and let Ds have a sleep over at MILs
12-08-2016 17:17 #19
12-08-2016 17:18 #20
I had my first night out without ds last week. sadly it was not with dh, it was with my mothers group girls. I actually organized the outing as I was hanging for a night off, looking forward to going out baby free, a few drinks etc.
the reality was crashingly depressing.
the venue I chose was crap. hadn't ever been before but had heard good things. nope. it was sh!t. music too loud, everyone looked really weird or desperate, the usual bartenders trying to schlep onto the pretty girls at the bar and ignoring boring, average looking mums like myself. way to feel like an overlooked senior.
I only had 4 drink, the first 3 proseccos I didn't even feel tipsy after (and these days a whiff of wine is enough to give me a buzz lol). I had a fourth drink but made it a white wine. it instantly went to my head. I wasn't drunk but I definitely felt quite tipsy.
got home around 11, tried molesting a too-tired dh but was knocked back (wtf!?) then finally went lights out around midnight. spent the whole next day feeling rough as, headachey etc. can't believe I was hungover after such a mediocre effort! my first hangover in as long as I can remember!
so yeah, definitely not worth it. was such an average to crap night. I could barely hear anyone over the loud band and just felt old and desperate being out. I went home feeling soooo appreciative and downright lucky that I have a dh and ds to go home to.
so yes, your dh is right - you have changed. for the better! I'd much rather be "boring" mum at home than some desperate aging "party girl". there was a time and place for all that, that ship has sailed lol.
not saying you can never go out again and enjoy yourself but I think things change after kids. your priorities are not what they used to be. knowing you have to be up at 5am and have a full day of chores, taking care of kids etc really puts having a few drinks and a subsequent hangover in perspective.
I prefer different kinds of going out these days - lunch with friends and a glass of wine/bubbles... that's more enjoyable nowadays than raging til 2am!
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