I knew i wanted to have kids when i was very young. I met my partner and about a year later i was more than ready to have a child but he unfortunately didn't want any more children as he had two. He recently came to me and told me he wanted to have another baby with me. It was seeing him and the father he is to his children that has made me really want a child with him. He is really great with his kids. We are now into our second month of trying
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11-08-2016 08:38 #21Member
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- Jul 2016
11-08-2016 09:06 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
We never gave it much thought to be honest. We wer always having kids, and never felt like having kids would be the end of our lives, so never really worried too much about having all our life plans in place first.
I knew I wanted to have my kids before I was 30. I had no career or anything when I had my first at 22, but we could financially provide for a baby and child. I always just say we both got clucky at the same time and then fell pregnant straight away! We LOVED parenting so much we started for our second within the first few months. Again, no thoughts...we just needed to have more babies. My last baby was a surprise, and that was an adjustment and a half because we were done having babies.
Our kids are all close in age. There's pros and cons to starting young or waiting. I'm glad we just jumped in without a second thought because if we had thought about it we wouldn't feel ready for another two years due to where we are in our lives...and I'm raising pre-teens now, so can't imagine having spent so many years without my kids, and ending up an 'older mum.'
Parenting is hard, and we've had some extra challenges (mainly financial) thrown our way due to the path our lives have led us on. But, at the end of the day I'd still choose to have my kids young over waiting until we had ticked all our boxes to be completely ready.
As the saying goes 'no one is ever truly ready.'
I am sure that if we had of waited until we were 'ready' in all aspects of our life we would say that we were glad we waited, because we couldn't fathom having to get through the tough times with our kids. But we made it through, and our kids haven't suffered at all.
Last edited by Full House; 11-08-2016 at 09:10.
11-08-2016 09:47 #23
I met my husband later in life and we were married when I was 38. He was turning 50, and had had a vasectomy done 15 years prior. It was discussed and mutually agreed that we would not be having children. All was well in the world.
Then my youngest sister (12 years my junior) had her first baby. I'd seen my other sister and my brother have multiple kids and nothing. But this flicked a switch in me. I needed and wanted a baby.
My husband's eldest son and his partner had their first baby a month after my sister had hers. We went to visit, and I held the baby. My husband took a million photos. His eyes lit up. I knew it was my one and only opportunity to pounce!
I spoke to him on the drive home. "What if we just went and saw a FS to ask some questions?" He said ok but he doubted anything could be done 15 years after a vasectomy. He was uninformed but I'd been researching for a month
4 IVF cycles down we now have an egg donor by our side and are cycling (hopefully) next month. It's been one hell of a ride but I have no doubt I am ready. My Husband's head is still spinning but he's happy
Last edited by Blossom74; 11-08-2016 at 14:47.
11-08-2016 13:06 #24Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2016
I'm a youth worker by "trade" with time in disability, children's and family services. Usually working with (mostly young) people who have had some tough life journeys. My career has flourished and for the last decade I've worked in upper management roles in these sectors.
For a long time, I felt I'd "done my part" in dedicating my career to helping, caring for and building capacity for others. Because of this, my own rocky family relationships, and my super independent nature, I was never convinced I wanted to, or "needed" to have kids. And I hadn't met a partner who I wanted to have kids with, let alone a relationship. I figured one day I might be a single foster parent to those tough (vulnerable) teens that need a chance and some love. If I really felt inclined.
Meeting my DF at age 31 didn't change that either...But it gave me the "what if" tingles. I had the feeling what will be will be. We moved in, got a puppy... And then things changed. Suddenly my family was coming together, my man was super caring and nurturing, and was in it for the good and bad (cleaning up a living room covered with all kinds of puppy fluids after he had puppy gastro will show you what kind of dad and partner he is, it turns out!)
When I started getting some unhealthy side effects from my pill last year (age 34), i felt suddenly, scarily, bizarrely ready. Bam. Like that. One day I went to the docs to get a new prescription, and the next day I'm telling DF (DP at the time), let's go.
He was stoked. We ripped off our pants and thought the rest would be history...
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11-08-2016 14:43 #25
We didn't, she did lol
But H already has two, so figured he wanted two more.
I wasn't fussed about kids but agreed to start ttc that sept, but I was preg by June
11-08-2016 15:21 #26
11-08-2016 15:25 #27Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
About 6 month ago I have been backwards and forwards about having children since I was in my mid 20s, then moved overseas and loved traveling and working and socializing and had no interest. Returning home and 'settling down', and becoming a parent to 2 dogs flipped the switch in me. Still TTC which is tough and I never ever thought I would become obsessed with ovulation apps and getting excited about peeing on a stick!
11-08-2016 20:56 #28
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12-08-2016 19:33 #29
We met when 19
I moved in when 19
We got engaged and bought our first home before 23.
We grew together and had ups and downs.
We talked about kids and we weren't ready, he said after 30.
At 26ish we thought we were ready we tried and had a mc. Fell pregnant again a month after got married and had a baby in 2016.
I'm not sure when you know you're ready. But something inside us started considering it. We knew we would have to grow up a bit and stop partying but that kind of slowed down before we decided to try. We knew being a parent is a big thing and the baby would come first. I guess that's the most important thing, putting a baby before your relationship, self, job etc....
12-08-2016 19:36 #30
Oh and p.s I myself wasn't ready. I had a lot of trouble got severe preeclampsia and couldn't hack the hospital. Struggled with the responsibility of putting mine and he babies health first. All I wanted to do was deny it was happening and go home and be with dh. I wanted to be a kid again and lie on my mums lap and someone take care of me.
I'm good now but all that drama was scary and made me feel extremely "young" and afraid again.
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