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  1. #51
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    Look, I agree the OP needs support and she has received a huge amount on the forum. But in Atomic's defense I think she is genuinely concerned for her son and his welfare. The OP has said in her threads she can't get out of bed, she is constantly suicidal and that she doesn't have the emotional strength to even prep a basic meal. People are worried for his welfare.

    While I certainly don't support outright nastiness, I think we need to be careful about shutting down discussion overall (not just in this thread) about a child's safety and well being. God knows enough people turn a blind eye as it is.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Look, I agree the OP needs support and she has received a huge amount on the forum. But in Atomic's defense I think she is genuinely concerned for her son and his welfare. The OP has said in her threads she can't get out of bed, she is constantly suicidal and that she doesn't have the emotional strength to even prep a basic meal. People are worried for his welfare.

    While I certainly don't support outright nastiness, I think we need to be careful about shutting down discussion overall (not just in this thread) about a child's safety and well being. God knows enough people turn a blind eye as it is.
    What if it were a 'physical' illness such as cancer?

    Regular chemo would mean that someone would be too ill to prepare dinner some days and clean etc. And if you are a single parent and have little to no support than what? Would we (collective we) say the same things? Sometime these treatments take a long period of time too.

    From all the posts there are support/case workers who regularly check up on them and her DS has a phone which can contact them at any time.

    I do believe she is trying to do the best she can.

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  5. #53
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    Default how long to hold out for

    2 minutes noodles

    Do them in a bowl on not the stove. My DS who is 9 does this with me watching. Have some in the cupboard for you have ect. And some fresh fruit aswell for DS
    Last edited by babybeeno1; 11-08-2016 at 00:47.

  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    .
    While I certainly don't support outright nastiness, I think we need to be careful about shutting down discussion overall (not just in this thread) about a child's safety and well being. God knows enough people turn a blind eye as it is.
    Considering the OP is already aware of her shortcomings, and that child services are already involved, what will lay people (who don't know all the facts) discussing this aspect accomplish? I get the feeling such posts are more about other people getting things off their own chest.

    OP: to clarify I think you are doing the best you can and are making progress. Hang in there.

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  8. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybeeno1 View Post
    2 minutes noodles

    Do them in a bowl on not the stove. My DS who is 9 does this with me watching. Have some in the cupboard for you have ect. And some fresh fruit aswell for DS
    Mine 9yr old does it the kettle way which is great for nights I literally can't do anything.

  9. #56
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    Hi OP
    I am a mother of a child with sereve mental illness that often have her unable to cook. I am not in her state so I can't just pop in. So she has things in place to help. Things like.

    Takeout money set aside and a account with eat now so she can order on the net.
    Maybe you could have money in a envelope with a order written on it for your d's to do.

    Meals made in advance. Weather this be meals you have made or the store brought variety. That just needs microwaving.

    Ready to eat from the fridge. Cold near and pre made salad again that you have made or pre made from the store.

    Healthy snacks and easy of access. Have snacks that you both can access.

    On your good days do a big cook up for the week with your son. Teach him these valuable life skills. My daughter encountered so many boys that couldn't cook anything when they went of to university and she took pity I them and taught them how to cook.

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  11. #57
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    Obviously I'm not being clear enough. Either:
    1. OP is a troll
    2. OP is exaggerating, or
    3. There is a child that is being failed by everyone around him.

    Everyone keeps banging on about there are supports, dhs knows, etc etc. I'm asking - ARE THERE REALLY?

    Sending a child back home when the parent has just finished inpatient care, hasn't yet displayed that there is an improvement, still can't perform basic parenting tasks for fear of self harm, still threatening suicide... That is huge!
    It wouldn't/shouldn't happen, unless there are massive supports put in place. A grandmother that requires fuel money from someone that has to choose which bill to pay and that refuses to serve diner when that is the main reason she is ordered there? She's not that kind of support...
    (ETA) dhs would give the grandmother a fuel card, not expect pointless to pay for it.

    Also, stop comparing this to someone with cancer, or someone with a physical disability. Even comparing pointless to someone else with mentall illness doesn't work.
    Having mental illness, or any disability or illness, doesn't mean dhs should just turn a blind eye to the risk of the child. Unfortunately, it is likely the reason for these risks, but that doesn't mean it's okay.
    Last edited by atomicmama; 11-08-2016 at 06:53.

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  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    Also, stop comparing this to someone with cancer, or someone with a physical disability. Even comparing pointless to someone else with mentall illness doesn't work.
    Having mental illness, or any disability or illness, doesn't mean dhs should just turn a blind eye to the risk of the child. Unfortunately, it is likely the reason for these risks, but that doesn't mean it's okay.
    Because it is not 'real' and she should get over it???

    Mental illness (and yes she does have a mental illness) is real. It is debilitating.

    Do you realise how many people suffer from mental illness? And who have suicidal thoughts? And self harm? And still have family, children to take care of?

    They do not just take children away. That is cruel to everyone. He does not want to leave. She is actively seeking treatment and support. She is studying and was working when she had her MI under control.

    The reason she pays for her mother's fuel is because it is a court order for her mother to come and her mother also believes that MI is not real for her and would not come if she did not pay. Which breaches court. And means pointless would be at fault.

    Noone is saying this is a great situation. But coming here and suggesting trolling and not being supportive to someone in need is cruel. And can be dangerous to someone's already fragile mental health.

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  15. #59
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    Seriously how rude are some of these comments !

    I guess those who are being so mean don't suffer any form of mental illness and lack the empathy gene.

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  17. #60
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    OP, just to let you know that you are doing an incredible job and my hats off to you for having the courage to share your journey and seek help for yourself and your son. Just hang in there, your son will remember all the efforts you have made even in difficult times. Please don't be set back by some of the comments here, they are in minority I believe. I personally am here if you need any support or help.

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