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  1. #1
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    Default how long to hold out for

    So it is that Monday again when I've had ECT today, my mother is here, she knows that things have been particularly bad (although to her I am manipulating everyone again). Now is dinner time. She has been sitting on the lounge watching TV all day. Dinner is simple - bought BBQ chicken with salad & rolls so no cooking involved yet she still won't make it.

    So how long do I hold out before needing to feed the child (who has told me he isn't overly hungry so can wait & probably won't eat anyway)

    I'm at a point now where I no longer want ECT because I don't want her here in my house every week

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    I would feed yourself and your son and let her sulk.
    I am so sorry your mother isn't being supportive throughout this.

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    agree. make yourself and your ds dinner then leave her to it. I'm sorry she's being so useless and not offering more support to you during this time.

    excuse my bluntness but is she mentally unwell?

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    I'd feed you and your DS and ignore your mother. If you're looking after yourself anyway, and your mother is doing nothing, can you get the court orders amended? That's probably what she wants as well given that she's done nothing but whinge about having to help, but at least she's not in your house any more.

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    DS & I ended up having icecream for dinner & coping the attitude from her accordingly. Sadly having court orders amended isn't an option atm unless I stop ECT (which I'm considering anyway since it isn't being as effective since dropping off & I don't want her here more often).
    @turquoisecoast - according to her not mentally unwell just tired of my using everyone as I see fit (according to the staff at APARC from the family meeting, she is among the most crazy they've come across though so who knows) - if there was a mental problem at play with her I'd b a bit more understanding of her

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    I don't get it? Why couldn't you and your DS just eat the chicken as planned?
    In future, don't hold out, feed yourself and your DS.
    Regardless of what's ordered, you know you can't rely on this woman, for whatever reason, so don't.
    Since you know it will be hard after ECT, do what you did and plan an easy meal like a cooked chicken and salad in advance.
    Feed your beautiful child who sounds like he's doing amazingly well considering what he's had to go through in his short life, feed yourself and ignore her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGooch View Post
    I don't get it? Why couldn't you and your DS just eat the chicken as planned?
    basically because of physical effects of ECT making it virtually impossible (throbbing head, dizziness when upright, severe muscular pain etc) to cut the salad stuff up, combined with lack of energy & inability to function from the mental illness let alone anything else. I don't care if she doesn't prepare food for me, but essentially she is here as carer for him as ordered by DHS yet does nothing. And yes I agree he is doing amazingly well particularly for all he goes through

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    Mm...I would just be bypassing your mum altogether - tell your son to help himself when he is hungery. I know it's not the point but at least he is fed and any child over 8 is perfectly capable of putting some chook in a bread roll...if he skips salad, no big deal...
    Maybe if you make so you and your DS are self-sufficient post ECT you won't have as much anger, frustration and anxiety about your mothers carry - on. Even if you make some dinner "lunchboxes" and he can help himself. Then mum can sit on the lounge all night if she wants but you DS is fed and happy and you can rest and recover.
    Hang in there lovely lady x

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    Quote Originally Posted by pointless1 View Post
    basically because of physical effects of ECT making it virtually impossible (throbbing head, dizziness when upright, severe muscular pain etc) to cut the salad stuff up, combined with lack of energy & inability to function from the mental illness let alone anything else. I don't care if she doesn't prepare food for me, but essentially she is here as carer for him as ordered by DHS yet does nothing. And yes I agree he is doing amazingly well particularly for all he goes through
    Why don't you cut up the salad the day before or in the morning? From your posts previously, you know she is not going to be helpful. You know she won't prepare or serve a meal. You know that despite this, she has to be there whether you like it or not. She's obviously not going to change, so you need to figure out a way to work around it so you and your son can eat after treatment. Whether that be buying a prepared salad, or cutting things up and making dinner boxes the night before as suggested. Get your son to help you. He's 12 isn't he? That's old enough to be able to make himself a chicken roll with or without salad.

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    For days where I physically can't cook because of how tired and run down I feel, my son will have noodles because he knows how to do the noodles. If I can manage to pull a cooked frozen meal from the freezer I will also give him that because he can just heat it up in the microwave otherwise it's takeaway that can be delivered.

    Your mother is old enough to look after herself. I would just make sure you and your son eat regardless of what it is. If you can manage some prep a day or so before it's needed, do that if you can.


 
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