It was 2years ago yesterday since I delivered my little boy at 19+5 weeks. No one in our family remembered his birthday. My partner did because I reminded him the day before..
Am I the only one that is going to remember him?
I'm so angry.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
05-08-2016 10:31 #1
05-08-2016 10:39 #2
Nothing much to say other than sorry for your loss.
Did you bring it up in conversation with friends/ family? They might not have remembered the date or alternatively might not have wanted to mention it for fear of upsetting you.
05-08-2016 10:48 #3
I'm so sorry. how awful for you that they have not acknowledged this day.
did they definitely forget or are they staying quiet so as not to bring up painful memories? I'm sorry, I have no experience with this but am just trying to get my head around why they would not acknowledge the day with you.
did they acknowledge it last year?
again, I am so sorry for your loss xx
05-08-2016 11:40 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
If they are people that generally remember things then there is nothing wrong with telling them that you would like your bubba remembered, they may have been too scared to mention it.
05-08-2016 12:02 #5
I'm sorry for your loss, and that you're not getting the support you need.
Honestly, it sounds crappy but you probably will be the only one who will remember him and this date with such significance. You were his mother, you felt him and knew him and loved him in a way that no one else could at that stage of pregnancy. Not that your family are being mean or heartless, but people around you who didn't know him so intimately will move on and forget a long time before you ever could.
Especially if you've since gone on to have other children and are currently pregnant, they might not think that it's something you want to have acknowledged.
If it weren't for the fact that I read BH and see threads like this and have learnt better, I'd have been exactly the same as your family and never acknowledged past losses out of awkwardness and not wanting to bring up bad memories. Your family are probably the same?
I think it's totally reasonable that you're feeling angry and upset now, but if you're feeling up to it later, you could start a conversation with them about it? Let them know what it means to you and that it is something you want to remember.
05-08-2016 13:10 #6
I'm so sorry for your loss and I agree with what Deku has written. I guess we have to spell it out to people, even our own family what kind of support we need. I would want my little ones birthday acknowledged too xx
05-08-2016 15:31 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
I just wanted to say both how sorry I am for your loss and I hope you were able to do something to remember and celebrate your little man. From what I can tell, this is sadly fairly common. My friend had a stillborn son (40w) in 2012. I contact her each year a few days before his birthday and let her know I remember him and I am thinking of her and the family. I mentioned it to a friend this year and she was horrified that I do this. She was of the opinion that it would hurt my friend to be reminded, I'm of the view that she will never forget but she would be hurt if others did.
The Following User Says Thank You to rusty22 For This Useful Post:
05-08-2016 15:48 #8
The Following User Says Thank You to BB77 For This Useful Post:
10-08-2016 14:07 #9
I'm so sorry no one remembered your son's birthday. It was my daughter's second birthday in July and very few people remembered. It is hard to believe that family members can forget about the little people who should be here with them so quickly. You're allowed to be angry, I am angry too. I hope you managed to spend some time remembering your little man on his special day x
By Nafsika in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 2Last Post: 26-08-2015, 08:59
By Sally1981 in forum Pregnancy Loss SupportReplies: 1Last Post: 18-08-2015, 13:51
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and BroadwayPregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
Funniest thing your kid has said to youGeneral Chat
Rude 10 year old. Ideas?General Chat
Egg/donor code discussion - South AfricaEgg Donation
Happiness thread.General Chat
Awesome Mums of Autistic kids-how many of us are there (#3)????????Parents of Children with Special Needs
Support out there? ED issues, ttcMale Infertility Issues