@BitsHead am I correct if I guess your DH is a bit older than you? I remembered from a previous thread (sorry your name just sticks in my head!) that you're 20 but he has much older kids? Like almost close to your age??
I'm wondering whether now you've had the baby and have snapped back to your pre-pregnant self he's feeling a bit threatened? I may be way off base but I could see how that might happen with a large age difference. He suddenly feels old and you dressing like a normal 20 year old emphasises that.
I'm not excusing his behaviour and honestly when you say he liked to show you off I internally cringed. You're not a dog at a show. You're a human and the mother of his child.
He needs to either grow up and accept you dress the way you dress (which o guess hasn't changed since he first met you) or deal with his feelings in a mature way.
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30-07-2016 17:24 #11
30-07-2016 17:32 #12
What a ********...
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30-07-2016 17:46 #13
He is older than me. By about 15 years. There are lots of things he does that I really don't like. But I've never been in a relationship before him and he says the way I act no one else would give me time of day. Only a total bogan retard would live with me the way I am.
I don't mind too much how he talks about me and the way I was before I met him because I know if I didn't meet him I would be one of those girls with lots of kids to different people. I wouldn't have known any better. Then again, he says some really horrible things about what I've been through and I feel like he really holds them against me, even though it was out of my control. I really do love him. And when he's nice he's fine. But that's few and far between these days. I know I've done more than my share of bad things to him as well but I don't think that gives him any right to be that way to me. I don't know. It seems the longer we are together the worse it gets, not better. And now we have a baby together and he has promised me that he'll never let me leave with her. He says I'd **** her up more than I was/am. It scares me because I know I couldn't give her what he can. I don't have the money or the means or the life experience to give her the best. But he does. And I'm scared that one day I'll just accept that and leave, only I could never live without our daughter. I know he does love me in a way. Which way, I don't know.
30-07-2016 18:01 #14
Kids don't need money or means beyond a roof over their head, food in their bellies, clothes on their back and heaps of love. As someone almost double your age with that life experience, your child is going to be far more damaged seeing her father abuse her mother like this. Statistically girls who are raised in these type of households often marry men just like their fathers and boys often become their fathers.
He has you bluffed. That you can't raise your child on your own, that you can't do better than him and that he's somehow saved you. That you can't give her what he can. You can give her much more than him - love and a healthy home. And you want the truth? It's HIM that can't do better than YOU. As a woman pretty much exactly his age, I would run like a dog shot in the a@se from a guy like him and so would most other women in their 30's.
30-07-2016 18:10 #15
😔 OP just because he says it doesn't make it true. I think you need to start saying that to yourself in the mirror every morning until you believe it as you start thinking about your exit plan.
This man has no respect for you whatsoever. I can't see how this will change. You deserve better. Your baby deserves better.
30-07-2016 18:32 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Oh darling, I just want to bundle you and your bub up at my house and look after you!! I'm a hardened 41-year-old now, and I wouldn't take that sh!t from any man.
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30-07-2016 18:40 #17
A "bogan retard" sounds more appealing than a bullying, abusive, c0ckhead
Take some time to consider what exactly you're getting out of this relationship? Do you feel loved, respected, valued? Or do you feel put down, disrespected and under valued?
Ok great that he used to comment on how hot you were. That's definitely flattering. But what else? How else did he communicate his love for you? Or was that it?
This guy sounds like a pig.
I'd be considering your relationship more broadly than what you're wearing and what he thinks of it
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