I'll give some background info first:
Last year a boy in my 9 year olds class liked her. He used to give her heart shaped colourings and card expressing his love for her. She didn't like him, she's not that kind of child who is interested in boys as naturally she's only 9. She would play with him in groups etc and would often play with other boys (as we don't discriminate at home based on gender - anyone can do anything etc)
This year, the same boy has been doing things like: He copies her when she's trying to talk. He will block her way when she's coming from the girls toilets. He's told other children to tell her to go away. He's even told her she can't play soccer because she's "not good enough". I've spoken to the teacher about it and she's addressed it with his teacher. Her teacher even asks her every recess and lunch if all is okay so my DD has an opportunity to say something.
I don't know if this classifies as bullying or not. He does it to get her attention but in doing so, says and does hurtful things.
I still liase with her teacher and they are extremely receptive and have been nothing but helpful.. But I wonder, if I gets to a point where they have to take it to the parent if the parent may feel my daughter is just being ultra sensitive?
I don't want to be thst parent who complains and really it's just kids being kids?
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27-07-2016 21:30 #1
Would you class this as bullying?
27-07-2016 22:58 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
Has either teacher spoken with the boy and asked him to stop his behaviour? It sounds like the teacher is only checking in with your DD and nothing has happened to the boy.
If the teachers haven't done anything or you feel their actions have been ineffective, I'd be asking for a meeting with the deputy or principal. Regardless of whether you call it bullying or not, the way the boy is behaving is not ok if it's causing your daughter to feel hurt, excluded or ignored and needs to be addressed.
28-07-2016 08:55 #3
Thanks for the reply. Yes sorry the boys teacher has told him and they are dealing with it. I understand it's not okay and that is why I have been in contact with her teacher the moment she told me it was happening.
I guess I'll just leave it and not try to label what is happening. My daughter comes home saying he is bullying her and I feel awful she's taken it that way.
The past week has been great and I don't imagine we will need to talk to his parents if he stops.
28-07-2016 09:13 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
I think it is bullying - his behaviour towards her is making her feel uncomfortable and isolated, and he is also dragging other kids into it.
Don't feel at all bad about raising this issue with the teachers, and possibly even his parents. Your job is to advocate for your daughter and ensure she feels safe and comfortable at school, and let her know that you've got her back and will never trivialise her feelings.
Their (ie. his teachers' and parents') job is to explain to him how his behaviour is inappropriate and teach him better ways to interact. I think it's important for the little boy to have guidance about appropriate ways of interacting with others and expressing his feelings, and to learn about respecting others' feelings and decisions. I know he's only 9, but I wonder how many men who treat women badly were not challenged on their disrespectful behaviour towards girls when they were young, and hence it became normalised for them.
Last edited by Gentoo; 28-07-2016 at 09:18.
28-07-2016 09:18 #5
Yes, I would say this is bullying.
He's punishing her for rejecting him.
I particularly dislike hearing that he's telling other children to tell her to go away. He's trying to pull others into it. Not okay.
If nothing is changing or his behaviours towards her are worsening, I would be insisting that the school take the issue more seriously. This boy shouldn't be allowed to menace your child at school. He is the one with the problem, not your DD.
28-07-2016 09:52 #6
Bullying is defined as this by the NSW Dept of Education
Based on this definition I would say that yes, some of these behaviours are bullying. I think your DDs school does need to take some further action.
28-07-2016 10:34 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
I would also class this as bullying.
A similar thing happened to my DD in prep, she had the unwanted attention of two boys who would essentially fight over her.
She is very sensitive and couldn't deal with it, it got to the point where she began pulling out her eyelashes until there were none left, she eventually needed to see a psychologist.
So yes I would get on to it ASAP
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