Its a hard one because you don't know how she will react. If she is indeed a little crazy and you work with her then things might get messy. I would just not text back until ready, distance yourself from her slowly. I'm in the process of doing something similar with a "friend". Except this friends dumps all her life problems on me and runs, if I need something she couldn't care less. I'm just not replying to every text and slowly distancing myself it takes a while but eventually they find someone else to cling too.
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24-07-2016 12:02 #21
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24-07-2016 16:16 #22Senior Member
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- Aug 2013
I also have a "friend" like this. She's always sick or having issues and always asks for my help with her kids, etc but almost never helps me out. It was so draining so I started ignoring messages and she did back off and found someone else to complain to/use.
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24-07-2016 16:38 #23
From another perspective... I'm assuming this is your first child. In my experience there's nothing more isolating than becoming a parent. Since you can't go out anymore people stop contacting you. It's all great at first, people bring over presents and wanting to cuddle the baby. But by 6mo no one messages you anymore. They know you are busy. They stop trying.
It's a really hard time. Look to be honest although you find her draining I don't see anything there super bad.
I hope you don't feel isolated after the baby comes. But if you do you might appreciate her.
24-07-2016 17:27 #24
You can turn off notifications on chat for how ever long you choose to so you won't see any messages from that person until you turn it back on.
24-07-2016 17:41 #25
Clingy friend WWYD
Ok I admit my wording and tone was more than a bit off this morning, and I apologise.
I confess that my views on this are tainted as I sit here at home trying to fill another week with 2 little ones and would kill for a friend like that.
I actually feel very sorry for her and it sounds like she has low self esteem.
I guess my point is what you are complaining about will most likely become a non issue. Either she will vanish like nearly all your friends tend to do by 6 months in with a baby like @Wise Enough posted about, OR you will be grateful that somebody will come around and show a bit more interest than simply hitting a Like button on Facebook and a clichéd comment
I know you are an introvert but being home with a baby 7 days a week gets to you. You are grateful for any adult conversation.
My apologies again for my post this morning I admit it just hit a nerve with me, having twice now been dropped by friends like a hot sack of **** after having a baby. I miss having a close friend.
24-07-2016 17:42 #26
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Little Miss Sunshine (24-07-2016)
24-07-2016 17:46 #27
This is a tough situation. You want to keep her in your life, but not as a third wheel.
I would approach it under the guise that you want to disconnect (from your phone / internet) as the baby get near. Figure out how to hide your status from here and turn off notifications.
If she's got any sense she'll take the hint. Good luck!
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24-07-2016 18:04 #28
In the lead up to the baby try telling everyone not to contact you as you are concentrating on resting. Say you will let them know when the baby comes. I know many friends driven bonkers by messages asking if there's a baby yet in the final stages.
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24-07-2016 18:06 #29Junior Member
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- Jun 2016
I think I just wish things could go back to the way they were before we started working together, when I really looked forward to catching up with her. And hopefully in a few months once im on maternity leave I wont have the constant contact and feel so suffocated.
I deleted the Messenger app this morning so my phone isn't constantly going off. Turned of all FB notifications so I'm not notified of everything she tags me in.
As I mentioned, my uncle is on his way out and everytime the phone goes off my heart starts racing. I also haven't been on FB since yesterday. She has obviously noticed that I haven't been 'active' (or has messaged me on messenger and seen that I haven't opened any of her messages) so she messaged my phone saying "You haven't been online whats happening??? Are you alive? You need to see what I just tagged you in, it's so funny!!!"
This was my reply:
Hey thanks for your concern, everything is fine. I'm having a break from social media and have had a very quiet weekend with the bf. I hope you have enjoyed your weekend and look forward to catching up tomorrow x.
She then took my reply as an invitation for her to tell me about what a a boring weekend she's had, a funny thing that her cat has started doing, how her bf stayed out til 2am and didn't pick up his phone, and that she burnt her roast tonight.
I'm sitting her down tomorrow and telling her that the constant communication has become too full on.
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24-07-2016 19:03 #30
I think it might depend on what type of person you are TBH. I try to keep 1-2 close friends and that's it. They're usually people in my family (my best friend is my cousin). I am so looking forward to people stopping trying to contact me once I have my baby! It sounds awful I know, but the friends I have, and want, I want to see about every 3 months at the most and, other than the 2 close friends, if the others drift away it won't bother me in the slightest.
I've had a couple of friends that I consider clingy, who other people would consider just interested in your life and a good friend. I've stepped away from them for a while, then made contact again a few years down the track thinking I 'should' try harder with friendships. I've regretted it every time. My DH and I do everything together and I just simply don't have the time or desire to have too many friends, never have. Even at school is have one or two good friends and actively avoid anyone who was even slightly clingy in my eyes. People just exhaust me for some reason.
Not saying the OP will feel the same, just how I am.
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