I'm about 5weeks pregnant, I found out 2days ago. I am still in shock that I'm pregnant especially since I read it was going to be so hard to concieve since dp is on pain killers. Well that info was wrong, took one month.
I have liked the idea of having a family and another kid, I've been a single parent to my 10yr old. And, For a few years now, I get so Clucky about it all, I want to hug every baby. But just because I like the idea doesn't make it right to go do it, does it?
I have a lot of moments where I'm happy and excited. But the other side is complete dread and wondering if I'm making the right decision. I've had a tough life past 11yrs, I've looked after my son for 10. I have just started enjoying the freedom of being able to have time on my own, not only when he's at school but when he's home. We go out and its easy, he is great company now. He cooks himself breakfast, gets changed, has a shower, I can breathe and be myself now, and I'm gonna have another baby!! Why, I ask myself. And accepting this kind of change is the most difficult one right now.
I dread the pregnancy hormones that will cause me great depression which I have a history of. I dread giving birth, it will hurt!! And I dread the aftermath of a crying baby, tantrums etc when I was just starting to be free of all that. I worry that I won't cope and it will be a bad decision for me, the only difference now is that I have a supportive partner, but then we haven't been together that long, I'm sure he will be a good father and treat me well but maybe I should've waited a bit longer to know for sure coz I don't want to be a single mother again, that would break me.
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22-07-2016 09:25 #1Junior Member
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- Mar 2016
In Two minds about my pregnancy.
22-07-2016 09:44 #2Senior Member
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- Mar 2016
Firstly I am not a single mum, so I can't relate to your fears there but I very much felt like this when I found out I was pregnant with #2. Dd was just coming up to 4.
I am only 6 months pregnant now, so I can't tell you it'll be easy, but I do definitely want this Bub. Go easy on yourself x
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22-07-2016 22:42 #3
Please don't take offence, but if you decide you don't want this baby, would you terminate the pregnancy?
If the answer to that question is NO and you are just feeling in despair about getting pregnant, then I think it would be more beneficial to your mental health to take a deep breath, accept that you are having a baby, and start thinking of all the positive things that you have to look forward to.
I'm sure it was really freakin hard raising a child on your own for 10 years, but don't dwell on what-ifs; you're in a new relationship, this is a new person you're going to raise a child with and its a different baby to the one you had. You're also a different person now to the one you were 10 years ago.
So, assuming you would not change the course of action, you can only change your attitude and outlook.
Also, I think most people feel scared about having a 2nd child, losing their independence again, having the sleepless nights, the painful labour, all of that.. It's natural, and doesn't mean you've made the wrong decision.
But this time around don't forget, you have a mature little helper who can feed himself, bathe and dress himself and play independently..
Good luck with whatever you choose x
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