Separating and house settlement figure?

[Maggnolia]

My ex and I are selling our house and have agreed verbally and via text as to what percentages we will split the house proceeds.

Can anyone tell me

1) whether text messages confirming from both parties would actually have any legal weight to them if he was to dispute this later

2) whether the "settlement" that happens at divorce (8mths to go for us) can affect this in any way.

Essentially what I'm asking is, once I have my cash in my bank account from the house sale, CAN he take any of it back off me without actually suing me for it or something???

It has been a huge battle to get him to agree to a figure and I'm terrified his new girlfriend will convince him to change his mind later down the track.

House goes on the market next week, is expected to sell very quickly ("hot" area).

Many many thanks.

[clb84]

Make sure your solicitor or conveyancer is aware of the percentage split you have decided on so when settlement takes place they will ensure those percentage splits end up in the nominated bank accounts.

Without signed consent orders stating this he will be able to take legal action in court up to 12 months after your divorce has been declared in court.

I have and still am going through court with my xh as he reneged on his emailed and sms 'promised' of refinancing a loan into his name. And unfortunately even though these have some weight in the legal system. They're not legally binding.

You would be surprised at how lax the legal system is.
Please if you have doubt. Cover your butt.

Best of luck. It's an awful time xx

[RmumR]

I can only tell you my personal experience on this but

When i got separated from XH about 9yrs ago now we agreed on the split from our house sale between ourselves.
We advised agent of the percentages and once the sake went through and money was in the real estate put in our separate accounts as per our instructions.

When we applied for our divorce we instructed that financial& property issues were resolved and final - that was on the divorce papers we both signed.

[Maggnolia]

Oh CRAP clb, that's exactly what I am worried about! Far out!!!!!

Ex has already tried to play games with this and is already getting more than we'd agreed to, I have severe anxiety and am desperate to keep this out of going to court, so I've agreed to less than I want just to get it in my account once the house is sold.

But you're telling me he could theoretically get it back off me later down the track!? Faaaaar out! This is terrible!

Is the only way to make it binding through financial consent orders?

We are about to do mediation for custody of the children.

[babybeeno1]

Don't do it the way he wants that for sure. Such a Dodgy SOAB that's for sure. If your going to do it do it right to begin with. Get yourself a good lawyer !!

Your entitled to copies of all of his assets values from
His car, bank accounts, super super Annuation, investments etc. These aswell will affect your split as they are an asset not just your house. You have to put forward your assests aswell. Then your lawyer will draw it all up and come up with a reasonable split. Depending on how many kids you have and what your care arrangements are with them. IE my EX tried to get our split go 70/30 his way LMAO, yeah right it was the other way round in turn. I was a Sahm mum with s new baby.

With the house one you can buy the other out if your able to if that's the case you need a valuation done on the property and one that would stand up in court.

If you can't afford to stay in the property while this is being settled move out let him live in it and you legally don't have to cover any of the mortgage at all that would be his responsibility.
Reason why to get a legally binding valuation that is will hold up in the courts is because if he was to challenge a few years later he can't as its been through the courts, you in turn couldn't challenge him either this type of document can also include and future earnings you can have, protect any and all inheritances you could come into, X-lotto wins etc.

He is totally trying to fool you into thinking what he is proposing is all ok

There is more to a settlement then just selling the house

All of this can also be discussed in mediation aswell

But get yourself a lawyer that's for sure and do it before your mediation so you can put all the facts out on the table in front of him

[clb84]

Exactly what babybeeno said.
And if you can't afford a lawyer a lot will take their fee out of the settlement money when the house sells (my Aunty did this)
It doesn't have to go to court. It can all be settled with your lawyer before the need to go further. Especially with your mediation.

He is certainly trying to dupe you. A lawyer will say to him settle on this or a judge will most likely rule 'X' way (this is what my lawyer said to my ex and we didn't have kids). You would be entitled to some of his super etc as babybeeno said. A lawyer can take one look at the asset pool and advise you what you're entitled too - it may cost you a few $1000 to draw the orders up. But if he is trying to stitch you up tens of thousands in $ it will be well worth it. And the reassurance to know he can't come knocking back on your door.

So in my case we split over 3.5 years ago and divorce was final last March and because it's just going through courts now, they make a judgement based on financial circumstances NOW!! Not at the time you have agreed and sent sms's etc

Unfortunately this side of the 'marriage' is all business like and is tough.

[babybeeno1]

Also with his super as an asset I forgot to add that you can choose to not tough his super but in turn you are entitled to have more cash from the sale of the house. I did this with my XH in 2008. So he keep his super and I bought him out of the house so he got less cash from me and got to keep his super. 2 months later the GFC happened and he lost half his super anyways lmao because it was invested in the wrong products I in turn didn't lose much at all as I knew what to invest in and when to change it around

The reason for the legally binding valuations is there are 2 diff types. Only 1 will stand up in court the other is useless. All your future earnings and assets are protected from him trying to take a swipe at them in the years to come.

Some men not all are a'holes when it comes to this and always want to screw the women over because they are more vulnerable with hormones when a split happens.

What ever you do though lawyer up now. It will cost a few thousands but it's money well spent to get the correct outcome you deserve because remember he has the "new life" with the girlfriend and your looking after the kids and need a future home aswell that you can afford

[BH-KatiesMum]

go and get a lawyer. Now.

dont do this on your own - especially if you are concerned that he might reneg on your agreement at a later date.

You can agree to a settlement in writing prior to your divorce - so do that. Get a lawyer to draw up a settlement arrangement. Make sure that you have ALL of your combined assets included in the settlement agreement.

[Loolu]

I haven't had personal experience, but I remember when my aunt and uncle divorced, she was entitled to some of his super as she had been a SAHM for 20-odd years and it was considered he owed her a share of super given she was unable to work to earn super whilst caring for the children, so you may be legally entitled to more than you think!

Get legal advice ASAP!! If finances are tight, try Legal Aid in your state, which is free. Yes, there are probably better lawyers out there, but Legal Aid may be able to tell you if you're entitled to a more reasonable share, and if so, you can decide whether it's worth getting a decent lawyer, but I think legal aid represent for free.

[3Rreg]

Hi ladies. ...


Been reading through this thread trying to get some ideas or thoughts on my own situation. ..


Other advice is very welcome. .


X and I have separated. . 9 months now. .. things are pretty amicable. .. He Doesn't pay me child support directly however he does pay for their school fees,  brought turk school shoes socks, bag at the beginning of the year,  pays for their sports etc so he's been pretty good from what I've heard. . It's mostly 50/50 although some weeks is 70/30 with the 70 being on my side. . Anyways the real question is. .. he's asked to buy me out of the home. . "He currently lives there. . I moved out. .  He's had the house valuated by a proper company. . As is the house is valued between $430-$470 ... X has offered me $25,000 I've been delaying  getting advice as I was really thinking that this was a good offer. .. However now that I really think about that's Shhh! !! T offer,   I told me I'm wanting to see legal aid. . He gets stern with me saying that they will tell me I can get xyz. .. I'm not after his super,  nor his rental unit just a fair share of the house.   Should I ask him for $50, and  see if he accepts the offer I've pulled from the air or wait for my appoint with legal aid which isn't till next month ?????