I found out today that I'm pregnant, at first I was shocked, then I was ok and excited, now I feel sad, its been just me and my son for 10years, we are best friends, we have a strong bond and I've enjoyed him over the years even now, we are so close, having this baby makes me sad to think we won't have this bond anymore because there will be a baby involved, in a couple of years though, he will be pretty much a teen and I guess I have to let it go then, he never likes letting go of me and he is 10!
I wanted this baby because I always wanted a family with a partner, instead of being a single mum all these years, though I've had a great time. I've had a hard life and I'm thinking, am I doing the right thing having this child, my son is grown up and is great company now. Im just grieving the relationship with my son because of this baby. Anyone else been in a similar situation?
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20-07-2016 10:37 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
I feel sad for my 10yr old now that I'm pregnant
20-07-2016 10:50 #2
I haven't been in the same situation, but I can understand how you are feeling. A new baby brings with it many changes, and adjustments for whatever family the baby comes to. Be patient, and just accept the changes. hugs, marie. and welcome to bubhub.
20-07-2016 10:50 #3
Don't be sad, the bond you have with son won't change. My son was 2 months off turning 15 when my daughter was born. Similar situation I had been a single mum from when we was 3 until I met my partner. My kids absolutely adore each other. My son and I are still very close. It was the best thing for us!
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20-07-2016 11:16 #4
I know exactly where you're coming from, although my daughter is only 3. We've been TTC #2 for 9 months and finally think I might be pregnant now, but I'm feeling sad that my relationship with my daughter will change. I also worry how I can love another child as much as her.
I think they are totally normally feelings and from what I've read and been told, you will still have a great relationship with your oldest, just a little less time with him. It is good that he's old enough to be mostly self sufficient so you don't have to have the difficult get dressed / find your shoes / stop putting food in your hair moments that you would have with a toddler, hopefully you will continue to have mostly positive interactions.
20-07-2016 13:44 #5
I think it's normal to feel that way. I have a 9yr old DS and a 9 day old DS. I worry that all of my energy will go to DS2 and DS1 will miss out but I know he won't. He will still be loved equally by myself. I'll still do special things with him once DS2 has a better routine. DS1 is already the doting big brother and so super proud of his little DS in the end I know he'll be helping me as much as possible and that in turn will create a new bond between us, although he has stated no poopy nappies are going to touch their hands
20-07-2016 13:49 #6
I felt the same before having dd, as ds was 6. I felt sad that I wasn't going to give him so much time and effort as I did. Well, no I can't give him as much time right now, and our lives have changed a lot, BUT he is so beautiful with his sister and I truly believe that giving him a sibling was the best present for him. He's really matured and just loves her so much. He's had to adjust, we all have, but we still try to take him out and do things. He always wants his little sis to come though, even though some things she can't.
20-07-2016 15:15 #7
I agree with hakuna - a sibling is the best present you could ever give your son, he is gaining a new very special person in his life.
There are almost 5 years between my boys and I do know what you mean. My DS1 suddenly looked so much older once his little brother arrived (if that makes sense?!), like it suddenly dawned on me my first baby had grown up and that made me feel sad. We still cuddle etc and sometime he craves that extra attention (which I find incredibly hard to give from a time point of view), but I also think it's a valuable thing for them to learn to share their mummy.
It's a huge change, but a change you can share as a family and it's a positive change. Once your Bub arrives, you will soon forget what life was like before them!
20-07-2016 15:57 #8
I can relate though I wasn't as sad because my older daughters have always had each other. They adore my partner and our new baby is almost 5 months old but there was a time when I was a single mum and they were my only two. They are now 9 and 11 and love their little sister.
You and your son will always have a special bond but children are resilient and adapt quite well.
Sometimes I can't believe I have another baby lol.
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