So tonight I lost it. My kids love Lego they play with it every day, often several times a day. I asked them I lost count of how many times to pack it up tonight (when in started to think about and make tea) 2 hours later I was still asking them and they hadn't put any of it away. I lost it and took all their toys away and put them into a room they don't have access to.
I feel like a monster. I was tired and sick of cleaning up after them and always asking them to help me pack up and getting little to no help, and being ignored. Not that I am trying to make excuses. I have been in tears since they went to bed (so if you want to say something horrible to me believe me it's not something I haven't already said to myself) I don't know how to give them back their toys without losing any kind of authority I have (actually I don't feel like I have any anyway).
Maybe they don't need all their toys back, maybe they are to spoilt, I just don't know what to do.
How do I give them back their toys? They are 4 and 3x 2 (I know I am asking to much and I feel horrible for how I reacted)
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19-07-2016 21:59 #1
Help!!! I've lost it!
19-07-2016 22:07 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Help!!! I've lost it!
Oh please don't feel bad, we all have our limits.
Maybe give the toys back one at a time (or in groups?) when they clean up as instructed?
From my experience with DS, if I caved with guilt, it did nothing but him continue to treat me like a maid with no consequences.
19-07-2016 22:14 #3Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2015
Don't feel bad. This might be exactly what they need. Allow them to earn the toys back with good behaviour and helping to tidy up.
19-07-2016 22:18 #4
Don't feel guilty...I did pretty much same thing with Miss 4.5 & her toys. Her bedroom was an absolute mess; toys & books everywhere...
I got some colourful baskets & put them in a new shelving unit. Sorted all her toys into them (dolls in one, ponies in another etc). Books in her bookcase.
Then I told DD that she would need to keep her room tidy & start putting back toys after playing. Was good for a while then slid back into mess.
I cracked it & gave her 45mins to tidy up & anything on the floor/not in its place would be confiscated. We now have a big box of things...If DD keeps her room in a reasonable state, she can get a toy back each day. Having some success with this - especially when she realises a toy she wants is still in the box.
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19-07-2016 22:33 #5
When I was little my mum threatened me countless times if I didn't pick up my stuff she would throw them away. One day she followed through, she packed my things into a garbage bag and put them in the roof which was as good as throwing them away to me , she gave me a set of chores and when I completed a chore she would get my stuff and give me something back. Once all chores were done I got them all back.
Ff a zillion years later I will probably do the same with my boy when he grows up and my relationship with my mum is awesome. So don't guilt yourself over disciplining your kids, it's a good thing, boundaries set them up for life, there is not enough discipline with kids these days, so rather than feel bad give yourself a pat on the back, your doing an excellent job.
19-07-2016 22:53 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
Don't feel bad! I've thrown train track in the wood heater before because I'm sick of the kids not picking it up. They started pretty quick after that!
19-07-2016 23:25 #7
Thanks everyone. Appreciate that. I have been feeling so horrible about it.
19-07-2016 23:47 #8
Lol, sounds like a perfect disciplinary tool to me.... I would leave them toyless for a little, then redistribute if they show they understand why they had them taken in the first place. I've banned toys for various reasons on many occasions....
20-07-2016 06:16 #9
I wouldn't feel bad. A good friend of mine was having issues with her DD's not cleaning up after themselves to the point it drove both parents nuts. So they reversed their trailer up the drive next to the playroom. Anything that was on the floor was chucked in the trailer and taken to the dump. Both DS where devastated but after that they learnt their lesson big time
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20-07-2016 06:27 #10
DS was the same so at that age I used to say let's pack up before bed , I helped him , then after a few weeks he just started doing it on his own ( pre school rules were you had to pack up toys when you finished so that helped!) i think he protested once or twice so I said if I have to pack it up then you can't play with it tomorrow , I did that once and he's never done it again - DH made him a Lego table with draws last Xmas and it's so much better as he sits at the table to play now !
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