+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 21
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    4,615
    Thanks
    695
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Who did you choose as guardian in your will?

    Our guardians are our best friends. They also have 2 kids. They are DS's God parents.

    The biggest consideration for us was parenting style. I have 2 siblings and while I love them their values are very different to ours. I actually think our kids would flip out living with them. Also, my sister's kids are now adults so she's in a new stage of life. My brother has a teenaged child who he shares custody of with his ex. DHs brother is single and not a kid person at all. Our parents are not an option as they are elderly.

    DS actually asked me recently what would happen to him as DD if we died. I said he would go to our friends and I could see the relief on his face. Good choice (heaven forbid it ever happens).

    We of course discussed this with our friends before putting it on our will. Our families also know.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,289
    Thanks
    594
    Thanked
    459
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My mother, and if something happened to her then it's DH's parents.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    511
    Thanks
    473
    Thanked
    315
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks for all your replies. I'll sit down with DP and read over them together

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    575
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked
    341
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think we have settled on my dad and stepmum. They are very respectful of our strong values and would raise DD very similar to how we would. I would love to choose my younger sister but her bf doesn't want kids. I know she would choose DD but I don't want to put her in that position.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,237
    Thanks
    211
    Thanked
    786
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    When we first had children we opted for my SIL and BIL (DHs brother), discussed it with them and had it written up. At the time they were childless. As time passed and they gad a child of their own we changed our minds - we didn't like their parenting style, and also felt my BIL wouldn't want to be burdened with children ( he never really wanted his own child). So now my brother is on a guardian and I'm happy with that. I think it's important to remember you can change your mind. ..you just have to follow through with the legal document. We gave changed our wills several times over the last 13yrs (with birth of children, changes in investments etc.) Now my DH is the XDH...it should probably be assessed again..

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    253
    Thanks
    272
    Thanked
    55
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Dd1 is ours. We talked about when she was 17 and organised it when she turned 18. We also made sure it was written in that the kids move to her. That she can sell the house to help her raise them.

    This happened to DH, when he was 16, his parents made him guardian of his much younger siblings. They're both safely in adulthood now, but although it was discussed with him, he felt it was quite a burden.

    Should anything happen to our children, they will go to DH's mum and step-father. I would expect that there would be some sort of shared care with my parents, ie some school holidays with my parents.


    What things did you consider when choosing who to leave your children with?
    Parenting styles, age of the carer (ie my parents are older than DH's parents), income - DH's parents are still working, mine are not, DH's mum has a big focus on education and will send them to the best schools. My parents, although believers in good education, would probably be less selective.


    Did you ask the potential guardians if they wanted to do it first?
    Hmmmm, thinking about this now, no not really. We said we'd like to name them, I hope that's ok? They said yes straight away, didn't have a massive discussion around it. They're currently living OS but that will change in the next 12-24 months.

    Did you choose a couple? Or two people who are not together (ie one sibling from each parents side etc)?
    A couple, MIL and (step) FIL

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3,348
    Thanks
    2,789
    Thanked
    1,371
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    We chose my sister and her partner. I asked my sister first. We chose them because they both have steady well paying jobs and are very financially secure. Plus I know my sister would love her like her own. DD also loves them both. She is a couple of years younger than me so DD would have someone around, she is intelligent and places value on education and working.
    It would mean DD moving back to the uk if something was to happen but the only way that wouldn't happen would be if I chose my dad and there was never a chance of that!

  8. #18
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    in a glass case of emotion
    Posts
    12,483
    Thanks
    1,203
    Thanked
    8,298
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    We haven't written a will, however have told people we would like our kids to be raised by my MIL and FIL should anything happen to us. Our reasons:

    - My parents still have young kids and are busy enough as it is.

    - My in laws are a lot more similar in terms of parenting than my parents

    - My in laws are financially secure (own several properties etc) and would be able to give our kids the opportunities we would like without it being a problem, including the opportunity to travel with them

    - My in laws and parents get along well so I know they would always make sure Toby got to spend plenty of time with both sides of the family. They also only live within 10 mins of each other so I'm sure they'd work out an arrangement.

    I would reassess in 5-10 years as my siblings get older and less reliant on my parents, as my parents are 20 years younger than my in laws so may be a better option at that point.

    We've also considered friends but ultimately would rather family.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    6,018
    Thanks
    4,252
    Thanked
    1,703
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    We put my mum down and if she's not around, then my FIL and his wife.

    My brother and his wife live in a tiny house, struggle financially, and have 6 kids. We don't want our children to become one of a crowd, in an uncomfortable environment.

    I grew up with a loving family and want that for my kids.

    My MIL is not a warm or loving person. I don't want my children growing up feeling unloved.

    My SIL is also not warm. She has 2 kids, her eldest has emotional issues, and is constantly depressed. Not a person I want influencing my children

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Lil Smurfy For This Useful Post:

    TandR  (20-07-2016)

  11. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    8,795
    Thanks
    3,386
    Thanked
    4,798
    Reviews
    9
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    We have put off preparing a will because we can't decide on guardians. My first choice would be my parents, they have similar values to us, they parent similarly, very financially sensible and secure, but they're both in their 60s so if something happened to us when our oldest was say, 15, my dad would be 74 and mum 73. That's a lot for people in their 70s to take on, although they're doing pretty well for their age now. Next choice would be my best friend, we parent pretty much identically, but she has 2 kids herself and I'm sure she'll have another, plus has a disabled brother who she will most likely take care of when her parents pass away, so I don't want to put her in that awkward position of having to say no. Next choice is my sister but she lives interstate, I wouldn't expect her to move back here as her family is settled there but I don't want my daughter moving to somewhere unfamiliar and away from the rest of her family. Next choice would be ILs, they're financially secure but they have such different values and attitudes to the importance of family and education that I don't think I would even list them. Next is my other sister but again, very different values so I don't think I would list her.

    Sorry I've crashed your thread but hopefully this gives you some idea of the thought process I have gone through when considering guardians myself.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to JR03 For This Useful Post:

    TandR  (20-07-2016)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Non family Guardian for your kids if the worst was to happen.
    By Californication in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 04-03-2016, 18:33
  2. What do you choose?
    By harvs in forum General Chat
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 22-08-2015, 20:49

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Baby U & The Wiggles - Toilet Training ProductsToilet training can be a testing time but Baby U is there to assist you and your toddler with the daunting task of ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Which car seatProduct Recommendations & Questions
Newborn and schoolGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
IVF Babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017 #3pregnancy and babies through IVF
IVF Babies Due in April/May/June 2018pregnancy and babies through IVF
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›