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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Default please share your techniques for young kids sharing.

    18 month old and 3 year old

    its the common situation of younger one always wanting what what the older one is playing with

    i can ask the older one or i can myself give the younger one something he can play with

    i can start to tell the younger one that its the older ones turn and he has to find something else to play with, i dont think that will go down well

    i can tell the younger one that in5 minutes it can be his turn but if its imaginary play that can go on for a while thats really not fair to the older one.

    i can ask the older one to give the younger one a 2 minute turn as young kids will finish with a toy usually quite quickly and then the older one can have it but its a bit ridiculous as its just constant that anything the older one is playing with the younger one tries to take

    i can at times put the older one on a table so its harder for the younger one to just snatch it

    what have you found works please.

    and i can explain to the older one why it happens that the younger one thinks that he is so clever thats why he wants to follow him and copy him and play with everything he is playing with.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes it's a tricky age - I mean, who can reason with an 18 month old? I find distraction really helpful - so if you can see the glint in your younger one's eye and figure out they are about to pounce on eldet's toy, I'd whisk the younger one away in a fun fashion to go check out something "exciting" in another room - give eldest just a little breathing room. It's important for their relationship to not feel resentful that the youngest gets away with everything. Also maybe special toys for the 3 year old that only come out at 18 month old's nap time, and lots of fuss of involving the 3 year old in "grown up things" like helping with dinner (obviously very simple like water play/washing veg, choosing cutlery etc) will help them to feel secure. Good luck

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi op. My kids are a very similar age. They each have one comfort toy that they have never been asked to share but everything else is for sharing. I follow Janet Lansbury who has some suggestions about this that basically suggest you mostly let them work it out themselves with some guidance as needed. Honestly this is hard at their current ages so if I'm helping them I have the rule that whoever had it first is entitled to keep it until they decide they have finished with it. If they finish/put it down them the other can have it (cue screaming no no no that's mine but I digress....). If the younger DD is struggling with not being able to have it them I encourage the older DS to give her something to play with. Eg "DS if she really wants your train but you don't want to share can you please find her another train to play next to you?". She seems to be happier with this becaus it came from him and I'm hoping over time it helps them play together nicely without my constant input.
    If it's older DS wanting something g from younger DD then same rules apply but often DS does just take stuff off her. If she seems fine with him taking it them I leave it but if she cries them I encourage him to give it back and wait for her to finish while reminding him that she only play with things for a few minutes and to watch for her to put it down and then he can have it.

    Honestly.... 2 toddlers is freaking hard. Just do want ever you need to to survive and in 6 months the dynamic will be pretty different. Good luck. Xxx

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    In our house it's whoever gets it first, and i tell the other child to wait their turn, I usually wait 20 mins and then get child A to give to child B. There will always be tantys etc but that's life you can't have a tanty and expect instantly that things will roll their way. I warn tho if there IS a tanty after being told to wait their turn, then they won't get a turn at all.


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