My DH is pretty good I admit. I work part time and study full time and DH works full time but local. We alternate getting up with the sparrows to DD and he'll give her a bottle and brekky and make coffees etc. We tag team in the evening with one of us cooking dinner and the other doing baths etc. He'll also clean the kitchen and take the bins out. I do all the clothes washing and grocery shopping but he helps with pretty much everything else. Thank goodness he's nothing like his Dad!!
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08-07-2016 19:09 #41
10-08-2016 13:26 #42
He doesn't. It's an ongoing issue.
ETA: When he is out of work and I am working FT, when he is FT and I am PT, when I am on ML and he is FT, or when like now I am on ML and he is not working... it is still me doing 98%.
Yesterday, I took bub to see my aunt and got a text from H saying "I emptied the bins, did the dishes and brought in the laundry" at midday.
I replied with, "Cool. What dishes? Was it dry?"
He answered with, "My breakfast ones. Um...."
There were no dishes when I left, when I came home his version of dishes turned out to be his coffee cup. And, no, the clothes were not dry. He left them in the basket so I had to re-wash and hang out again today.
Even when he actually is a productive household member, he points it all out. ****es me right off. I have never even thought of doing it.
Now I note my entire day down with times and make him read it every evening.
Still hasn't changed anything.
Tried the not doing his stuff thing- he would halve the shopping money he transfers, buy himself new clothes when he runs out, and just generally fund his lazy way. Or take himself to his mums where she would do his laundry and he plays the hard-done by husband.
Last edited by DT75; 10-08-2016 at 13:52.
10-08-2016 13:35 #43
Not much. He works, I don't currently. He's often gone from 5:30am until 6:30pm, later if the boys have had sport training. I don't mind as I'm enjoying the break from paid employment. When we lived in the city and both worked he did nearly all of the cooking and would stack/unload the dishwasher and put loads of washing on. All that is my job now, and I'm ok with it.
10-08-2016 13:43 #44Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
My DH is pretty good. We both work the same hours weekly. I do all the "big cleans" like bathrooms, toilets, mopping etc and cook. I also do all the stuff like bills/drive the kids to sport/activities/general admin stuff.
But, he always vacuums, does all the dishes, looks after the lawns, will do a general tidy everyday and most of the washing. So I feel we have a pretty good system going.
But this was after a few years of him not pulling his weight and I just about left him. So he realised how serious I was about not coping and needing to be more hands on.
10-08-2016 14:31 #45
He is about as helpful as my 8 month old 3 year old at least tries to help me.
I often joke he is my third child and it's true. I do 99.9% of all the inside stuff, for example I don't think he has ever operated our vacuum cleaner or used the toilet brush. Wouldn't have a clue where any of the kids things are, what they eat etc.
He works FT and I am SAHM but even when he is on holidays (he is a teacher) he doesn't behave any differently. He does do our finances and all the outside stuff.
10-08-2016 15:03 #46
I was feeling sick this morning and hubby is on afternoon shifts so I asked him if he could get the kids to the school bus. I still ended up doing most of it. He just has no idea what to do (from inexperience I suppose). He even said to me "Please, don't ever let anything happen to you. I wouldn't have any idea what to do with the kids. I can't even get them to school by myself".
10-08-2016 15:35 #47
We both do 50%. We both work part time, and equally manage the home and outdoors when not working outside the home.
10-08-2016 15:52 #48
50 / 50 probably he does more. He is a much better wife than me
I work part time and he works loooong, awkward full time hours (1am - lunch time. Summer = 1am - 6 or 7pm).
Pregnant with our third now and the only reason we are in this position is because I know just how much he does and how much more effort he puts in when there is a newborn. He's a good bloke.
10-08-2016 16:05 #49
I am home full time, he works a lot, 5am-6pm 6 days a week (but has every 5th week off) - I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant and having a rough pregnancy, so he does a lot.
But typically, I cook dinner, he does the dishes. I bathe them, he puts them to bed, if I ask him to mop or something on his day off he will do it. I do the washing which I hate, if I were to ask him to do it he would but it's pretty much the only thing I have to do housework wise at the moment. He washes his work clothes and will do loads of washing on the weekend.
He is a bit ocd though- walks in the house after work and picks up the vacuum if he sees some fluff on the ground- I'm not complaining! Lol. He knows better than to criticise if there Are dishes in the sink when he gets home, I have my hands pretty full with a 3yo, 1.5yo and one on the way, so he understands.
But our house is always pretty clean, just toys around the place that get picked up every other evening or if we are expecting guests.
10-08-2016 17:51 #50Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2016
Housework has been a big issue for us as he was never made to do it when he was growing up. His dad always did the 'mens jobs' outside and his mum did everything inside. He has gotten a bit better over time but I still do 90%. If I give him precise instructions to do something then he will eventully get around to it in a few days but lve learnt not to get too worked up about it.
Last night he asked where one of his shirts was, so i told him that it was in the dryer but it should be finished now. So he rummaged through the clothes in the dryer and found his shirt and then left the rest of the load sitting in the machine for me to take out and fold. Frustrating!
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