I'm at home DH works FT. He has quite a flexible job where he might only work 4 days but work 12 hours on a few days. Other weeks he works 5 days at 10+ hours a day.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed with a grumpy teething child, tired from no sleep and worn out from my eldest 2 I whinge he doesn't do enough. But in reality he does more than most men. He does a fair bit around the house on his days off and he does lots with the kids. Sometimes he'll roll in at 8.30pm after a 12 hour day to me frazzled with DS2 and he'll put him and the elder 2 to bed
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08-07-2016 14:31 #11
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08-07-2016 14:35 #12
A lot. He's not working at the moment but he is probably more anal than I. That's not a bad thing though.
08-07-2016 14:45 #13
Im 3 days, DH is 5. He occassionally helps - cooks 2-3 times a week, unloads and reloads the dishwasher occasionally picks up. Will put stuff in the dryer if prompted
08-07-2016 14:49 #14
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Little Miss Sunshine (08-07-2016)
08-07-2016 14:56 #15
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08-07-2016 15:02 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
On mat leave atm but he still does stuff around the house.
He regularly does (and I don't do), rubbish bins and cat litter. He feeds the cats more than me as he does it when he lwaves/comes home from work.
He does washing if I ask because I am better at it lol.
He probably does the dishwasher more than me. I hand wash more. We generally vacuum/mop in turns.
Oh I always do the bathroom (I am better at it lol).
08-07-2016 15:02 #17
My DH is pretty helpful (he is home more than I am, so he'd wanna be!).
He keeps the kitchen clean (benches/dishwasher duties) vacuums, does washing, tidies up after DS etc.
I do the above as well as clean the bathroom and mop the floors on weekends.
Division of housework duties is thankfully not a topic we have arguments about in our house.
08-07-2016 15:15 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
When I was a SAHM DH did bins, our bed and dishes. He worked really long hours so I'd rather he spent time with the kids...and he did. If I was away DH would step in and keep the house running. If I'd had a hard day with the kids he'd help me clean up after work.
As soon as I started studying DH stepped up. He cooks probably 3 nights out of 7, would wash more clothes than me (as I'm a shift worker and often gone before him...he can't seem to grasp folding, though), tidies up, sweeps the floor (he is allergic to the vacuum, though), and keeps the house running when I'm not around. We have a house cleaner come once a fortnight, and we get our yard mowed and whippersnipped. We both agree that when we're working it's more important to spend our time with our kids than doing housework.
We've had some heated discussions over housework over the years...but I never backed down because no way was I going to be working and doing all of the housework.
08-07-2016 15:38 #19
I'm a SAHM of one (3.5 years DS2) and due in 6 weeks with DS3. I have been working 4-5 hours per week as a consultant from home, that will finish at the end of the month. DH works 5 days, leaves at 7.30 home by 5.
If I ask him to do something most of the time he will do it. Sometimes he will put it off for long enough I end up doing it myself. There is no job in the home he does regularly as his job with no reminders required. We only have a courtyard but I keep that tidy as well.
In the last few weeks physically I am really struggling with what has been a very rough pregnancy anyway so the house is staring to look pretty feral.
Oh he does take DS2 to swimming lessons on Sunday mornings - so I get about an hour by myself.
Yeah the helping thing always makes me think about dad's 'babysitting' the kids. Same concept. Unfortunately DH doesn't really get it.
08-07-2016 15:40 #20
My husband tries to help out, but honestly, with him shift working and also traveling away for work a fair bit, it's easier for me to just have my own routine and do it all and just stick to it whether he is home or not.
He is also guilty of trying to help and actually making it worse haha. He will tie the bin bag shut with intention of walking it outside but then I will come into the kitchen with hands full of rubbish and no where to put it. Or he will make lunch for everyone and it takes me 20 minutes to clean up the 8 saucepans, 3 chopping boards and food processor it took for him to make some ham and cheese sammies.
He was doing the dishes for me as I have a medical condition that makes certain chores, like dishes, excruciating. But he always fell behind and I either had to buck up and do it or leave them for god knows how long (also, refer to my point about many saucepans being used all the time by him). Anyway, he has now bought me a dishwasher. He might vacuum or change some nappies if I ask but I don't ask too often I guess. I am used to juggling dinner and bath time and all that stuff so it's easy for me to just keep going. Actually, if I'm brutally honest, I love having him home because you know, I love him and all that, but he adds HOURS every week to my housework when he is home. No exaggeration.
He works full time, shift work and sometimes away. I am a SAHM but I spend roughly 10-15hours per week out of the house doing volunteer work (plus some hours at home for prep/paperwork/etc) and will be taking up study shortly but online. I have 4 kids aged 2 through 6.
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