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    Default Husband sprung with text messages -Help please

    Please can anyone help me. I'm filled with bitter anger. Me and my husband have been together 15 years married for 9. We have one daughter 7 yrs. our relationship has been on and off really bad since he finished his Fifo job last year in June. In my whole life of being with him I've never checked his phones he has 2 phones a work and personal phone. Last Saturday his work phone bleeped and I discovered the horrible messages and can see he has been having an affair. I straight away questioned him and he said she's just a lady friend. Then the next day we had a huge fight and he said I drove him into the arms of another woman. He said he's seen a lawyer and he moved into the spare bedroom. I've seen a lawyer since too. We still love both under the same roof. I won't deny he's a brilliant father but I'm begging anyone out there how do you get over this bitter, hurtful pain in your gut. I'm being very civil at home because of our daughter but again last night I had a dig at him...I can't help it cause I'm hurting. I can't eat and I've lost weight which I need cause I'm already skinny. I'm seeing a phycologist soon to help me and my friend support is great. The worst thing about this situation is that he is carrying on like nothing's happend.

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    Default husband having an online affair

    This happened to me almost word for word. I never told anyone about the affair which happened for a lot longer but I also stayed. I regret staying, not thinking I was strong enough to leave. Now I feel "stuck". I don't love my husband anymore but autistic daughter couldn't cope without him so I feel trapped. Leave him and lose my daughter or stay. So I stay, miserable. I still don't trust him.

    I think seeing a counsellor is a good starting point. I'm so sorry this happened to your family.
    Last edited by waterlily; 04-07-2016 at 08:37.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkletwinkle View Post
    Please can anyone help me. I'm filled with bitter anger. Me and my husband have been together 15 years married for 9. We have one daughter 7 yrs. our relationship has been on and off really bad since he finished his Fifo job last year in June. In my whole life of being with him I've never checked his phones he has 2 phones a work and personal phone. Last Saturday his work phone bleeped and I discovered the horrible messages and can see he has been having an affair. I straight away questioned him and he said she's just a lady friend. Then the next day we had a huge fight and he said I drove him into the arms of another woman. He said he's seen a lawyer and he moved into the spare bedroom. I've seen a lawyer since too. We still love both under the same roof. I won't deny he's a brilliant father but I'm begging anyone out there how do you get over this bitter, hurtful pain in your gut. I'm being very civil at home because of our daughter but again last night I had a dig at him...I can't help it cause I'm hurting. I can't eat and I've lost weight which I need cause I'm already skinny. I'm seeing a phycologist soon to help me and my friend support is great. The worst thing about this situation is that he is carrying on like nothing's happend.
    This is someone else's old thread...they might appreciate it if you start your own for this one....

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    @Sparkletwinkle - that was an old thread you posted in, I have started you your own thread.
    Best of luck.

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    Water lily, thank you for you reply. Know this, we may not have met but I am here for you. Do you have any family and friends support? If so please use it. Don't bottle it up. I started a new job today and broke down as its only been 2 weeks since finding out about the affair. The girls were great, and 3 of them have been through similar break ups but not as defined as mine. I know you mentioned about your daughter being autistic is it a financial matter as to why your with your husband?
    My situation is kind of financial as my husband ( soon to be ex)...his job earns nearly 4 times to my full time. I realised after his affair, nope he put the final nail in the coffin and I'm the living dead soon to be resurrected.
    Do you work? It's no point staying with someone if you don't love them let alone he's cheated on you. Cheated yes cause you could of been with a man worth your presence. Can you seek counselling too?


 

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