I can't afford any luxuries right now but I will give myself one that is free: the luxury of venting.
The man I married is driving me to distraction. (It would be drink but I can't afford that either).
He doesn't understand that money doesn't grow on trees, that the one we have out the back is a boring old peach tree and that once you spend that paper stuff that comes out of the ATM, it's gone. Oh, he says, can I have a 20, give me a 50 will you...and he can never seem to work out where he's spent it. Today I closed my purse. This was as well received as Hanson's re-entry to parliament.
I look after our budget which is just allocating money for groceries, paying bills and setting money aside for other expenses. He looks over my shoulder and says to me the other day oh is that our savings? And I'm like no, that's our fortnightly expenditure...and was peeved because we didn't have thousands in the bank!
And then his pathetic dirtbag of a brother, stealing from his father because he's an ice head now and DH is busy propping his Dad up financially and I'm like report the prick to the Police for heaven's sake so of course I'm the biggest bi.tch since Dynasty last aired.
So then he starts dragging up subjects that have absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand (I call it dirty fighting) and I'm like okay, go for a drive, I'm not listening to this crap. So he storms out and sends me text messages - justifying himself of course.
He's staying the night over at his Dad's, boohoo I says to him. Lucky our kids have a parent that doesn't walk out any time they have a tanty. And his dad's deaf in one ear so he can afford to listen to him whinge about having no money.
I wouldn't mind it if he could dance as dirty as he fights. But he's as agile as a five legged chicken on the p.iss and, quite frankly, this ten year old behaviour is as grating on me as listening to the cat strains coming from the tv (The Voice is on).
Is this a phase with men? Or am I stuck with this sh.it forever?
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03-07-2016 18:42 #1
My Husband the 10 Year Old
Last edited by Mrs Tickle; 03-07-2016 at 18:44.
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03-07-2016 18:58 #2
I can't answer your question but I think I love you!!
But, seriously. Eugh. He is being a jerk. Shut the wallet, let him grizzle, then buy yourself something nice at the end of the month with all the dough you haven't handed over at his whim.
03-07-2016 19:08 #3
Haha, thanks Harvs. You can send me all the love you want in the form of those new Breakaway things Cadbury makes.
You know, I actually thought of hiring a snazzy car for the day, rocking up and saying, hey since you were being such a jerk, this is what I bought with our savings.
03-07-2016 19:39 #4
OP I love the way you write!
He's being a jerk. Hopefully it's a phase, and after he's spent the night away realises what a jerk he was being and apologises for said jerkiness. Though I wouldn't hold my breath 😂
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03-07-2016 20:56 #5
I totally see where your coming home. My DP is yours but a different state. The similarities are uncanny. Mine decided to buy a crap load of shares on Friday and I mean 5 digits worth !! All out of the $$ from our maternity leave savings. I'm 4 weeks in with 48 to go. God help you and I.
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05-07-2016 19:43 #6
We are at an impasse.
He has the sh.its at the moment because, yep, you guessed it, I won't give him any more money.
He jumped up and down about it (which was rather undignified but secretly funny to watch) but I held onto my resolve - and my purse - firmly.
So it's pistols at dawn. Well okay, coffee and a chat.
Mind you, if he went and bought shares, Babybeeno, I would have knifed him already. FIVE figures? Is he planning on getting a call from the Sunrise Cash Cow?
05-07-2016 21:01 #7
Ha ha you just reminded me of a boyfriend I had when I was in my early 20s. You know the type, spend the rent money and then the taxi money on a pack of cigs and just one more beer, then walk three hours to get home at 3am because you can't even afford a taxi?
He shook me awake one day at 8am literally 30 seconds before he had to catch the bus to uni to ask me for money for lunch. I explained I only had $5 and I needed that for the bus to uni. He screamed at me 'FINE THEN!! I JUST WON'T EAT!!'
Because it was totally my problem. I was like... 'um...make a sandwich?'
I love how when people are irresponsible they can find a million things to blame except for the one thing they can actually control!
05-07-2016 22:11 #8
I would type up a list of all the bills in a fortnight, then note down every dollar you give him, the day, how much. Then note what you spend on yourself. keep a log. Then put it in front of him and tell him this is the reason you guys have no money. Don't let him do what I call Switcheroo (DH tends to do this) where a discussion goes from something he is doing, to him completely twisting the topic and suddenly he's the victim and you're at fault. For example I bet your arguments go from 'where did that 50 bucks go, as we're broke and I can't give you anymore". To "you are the one that treats me like a child by controlling the money, none of my mates cop this from their wives blah blah". Let's forget the reason you have to do this is bc he can't stop spending and can't track where it goes!
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05-07-2016 22:22 #9
I have no other advice but I read your post and I must admit I kind of chuckled to myself. I know you have a conundrum but I too love how you write. A real way with words!
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06-07-2016 05:28 #10
My Husband the 10 Year Old
He doesn't have a clue financially- I budget and pay bills, he'd happily pay $10kg for tomatoes when I know that's outrageous!
He dipped into our savings as my paid mat leave was about to run out and bought some god knows what he read about somewhere, he was so chuffed and proud and didn't understand why I just wanted to forehead slap him lol
Ps love your work mrs tickle. Thanks for the giggle even though you have to put up with a douche- it's entertaining for us!
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