Hi, what u experienced was one of my reasons for my elective c, which went great but bf was still hard and it was a few months before I really started to bond, dh was much more bonded than I initially.... So don't blame all ur feelings on the birth a lot of them sound pretty normal to me.... Even without nasty birth.... My bf journey was filled with about 6 bouts of mastitis, poor supply but it got going after lots of initial topping up and he's now 2 next week.... Hoping he'll wean soon I don't want to force him off.... Nipple shields are great I've heard, taking a few days if round the clock Panadol was great for winding pain down I found, as was missing the odd feed and pumping or using formula, all helped me muchly....( my ds had normal tongue but mastitis leave u with weird nipple pains)
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29-06-2016 21:59 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2016
29-06-2016 22:09 #22
@Renbird Congratulations on your beautiful bubby girl!! Chin up, you have a lot of beautiful times ahead of you. My birth stories are a little different to yours. I had two post partum haemmorages with my first two and just recently after 9 years gave birth to my 3rd beautiful child and had my good birth. I only lost 300ml because the staff were aware of my history.
Big hugs to you. Your experience is still raw and no doubt you are still very emotional. That is pretty normal. I was a wreck for a few weeks after DD3 even though her delivery was pretty uneventful. First time is hard too as you don't really know what to expect. Just take it one day at a time.
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30-06-2016 02:44 #23Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
First of all , massive hug. It's a huge thing you have been through and I totally understand how you feel shell shocked. I had a horrendous birth with my first . I was left physically shaking and I felt abused and tortured by the intervention. I think after that youre left in a state of ' fight or flight ' and it affects how you worry about your baby . You can feel like you cannot sleep because youre in a huge protect mode . You also have feeding issues with the tongue tie too you poor thing which will make it hard . The only advice I can give you is to take time for yourself to heal emotionally . Physically your body will heal . Our bodies are amazing I was so grateful to mine after my son's birth for getting me through it . You should have a debrief about your birth with a birth trauma counsellor . Something I wish I had done . Let yourself cry also , you have had a bloody hard time and you are doing a wonderful job probably on no sleep . It took me a few years to really get to grips with my son's birth but I went on to have two other beautiful births after .
So , your feelings are normal , you have had tougher time of it , try and find a counsellor to de brief and take time to heal . Huge hug . X
I've no experience with a tongue tie but hope you get some help with that .
Hope you have some support . Take care .
30-06-2016 04:48 #24
Everyone else has given such good advice already!
I just wanted to second misskitty's advice to get the tongue tie clipped.
I've used chiropractic for years and am a fan of it, and while it may help if bub's neck got wrenched during birth it will not help the TT.
With my 2nd I persisted to 5w hoping things would improve (hospital midwife dismissed TT when I said things didn't feel right on day 2). Then my child health nurse put me on to the council lactation consultant who diagnosed posterior tongue tie and put me on to a local GP who could clip it in his rooms. The Dr said 5w is pretty late to do them in-room as bub has lots of head movement. So the sooner you get it done the smaller a task it will be.
Another practical point, are you on iron? I only half the blood you did, but a good chelated iron supplement was essential for my physical recovery.
It will take longer to heal mentally. I think it took me birthing my 2nd (5 years later) to truly come to peace with my traumatic birth of my first.
30-06-2016 09:16 #25
Oh, Ren. Huge hugs. Everything you're feeling is completely normal. Everyone has already said everything I would have said, I think, and much better than I could.
If no one has said it yet, it's important to remember that if you feel that the birth was traumatic, then your feelings are valid. Everyone processes things in different ways, and while others may have had similar experiences, each experience is still individual. There are traumatic birth support groups out there, many of them online.
If you are finding that your mood is low consistently for 2 weeks or more, it may be worthwhile chatting to your GP. Even if all that happens is that they are aware of it and you're being monitored, it's a good start for "just in case".
Be kind to yourself lovely. You've had a difficult start. Sending hugs and positive thoughts.
30-06-2016 10:17 #26Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2016
Ladies, I want to reply to all of you individually but it's a bit awkward on my phone and we're currently in the car on our first family outing! We're about to have this tongue tie issue looked at, I'll post an update here later if anyone is curious.
I'm so glad I joined this forum, you all said exactly what I needed to hear and because of that, my spirits were lifted and I had such a good night. I'm still in a really good mood, so thank you, you have no idea how much I needed it.
To answer a couple of questions-
I'm taking iron supplements religiously and I'll be getting my hemoglobin checked this week as well as our 6 week appointment.
I love the idea of a birth trauma counsellor, especially since I want a second baby eventually and I don't want to leave my fears unaddressed. I'll look into that once things are a little more settled.
I've been seeing an LC through the council; she's the one who diagnosed the tongue tie. I don't know that I've gained much else from her (apart from the u-hold) so I might look into a private LC, especially to help post tongue tie procedure.
Once again, thanks for all your lovely comforting words. It's amazing something so natural as motherhood can be so distressing and difficult, we all need to lean on each other!
Wish us luck today 😄
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30-06-2016 11:11 #27
Personally - I dont like it when people say "something as natural as motherhood" as it kind of implies that its something you should just know how to do. Its NOT. It doesnt just come to you when the baby comes out. All the skills are learned, they take time and adjustment ... its HARD.
you are doing fabulously well - and every day you will learn more and do better.
30-06-2016 11:13 #28
@Renbird Good luck today
So sorry your birth was traumatic, that sounds horrendous. I just wanted to add that if breastfeeding does send you mental then there is no shame in bottle and/or formula feeding. Do what is best for you and your baby.
30-06-2016 11:21 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
We are going through the exact same issue at the moment with our LO who is 5 weeks/1 week corrected.
She had her tongue snipped in hospital and her poor latch was down to being prem but no improvement. I am now seeing a specialist next week to review her tongue tie as they snipped the anterior one but more often than not there is a posterior one that a lot of ppl miss and also her lip tie was not diagnosed but confirmed by health nurse last week she has a pretty bad one.
Baffles me that something that can be 'fixed' is often missed or missed diagnosed - it can have such an impact on mum and bubs breastfeeding journey.
Love to hear how everything goes post the procedure where about a are you located?
There is a great fb page for ties that offers great support!
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