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  1. #1
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    Default Excited but scared?

    Ok, so DH and I have been ttc for a little while now, and although I'm not pregnant this month I had so much cramping, pains and nausea, I was convinced that I was! And while I was extremely happy, I also felt like I was on a complete rollarcoaster of emotions! There were times when I would be awake at 3 in the morning thinking I change my mind I don't want this I want to go back, I don't want anything to change, I've ruined our marriage because we'll never be this close again etc etc. I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past too and I worry I have a bigger risk of pnd. I don't want to become someone who can't shower or look after myself starting out the window without being able to go outside feeling depressed and full of regret.

    There were also times (most times) that I was over the moon, don't get me wrong. And my little freak outs aren't enough to stop us from continuing to ttc, we were devastated to see those . We both know we want a big family, and want to start young (we are young 20s). I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this way, and what happens to those fears throughout your pregnancy, or once your baby is born? i would love to hear your open and honest thoughts / experiences

  2. #2
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Having a baby is most definitely life changing and I think we all feel those roller coaster type emotions throughout every stage of bringing that life into the world. It's normal to feel hesitant, scared and excited all at once; it's the unknown, it's a huge and most surreal experience!
    As for your PND concerns, I hear you loud and clear. After suffering from it with my first baby it was enough to put me off having another baby for over a decade! I was terrified of it recurring with another baby. My biggest problem was that I didn't reach out for help with my first. I WAS that person you say you fear becoming, literally couldn't leave the house, wouldn't even open the blinds in the day. I was in a very bad place and just muddled my way through the first 6 months, drowning in depression.
    So when I fell pregnant 11 years later with baby number 2, I made sure I had a plan in place. I told my doctor and OB team that I was prone to anxiety and depression and I was monitored closely. Somehow, I didn't get it second time around. I was just full of pure elation and euphoria after the birth and aside from the occasional blue day in the first few weeks, I was OK. I armed myself with knowledge and was ready and willing to seek help if I needed it.
    This forum actually helped me enormously. There weren't any parenting websites around back when I had my first and it was a bit of an isolating (I was also a teen mum) time in my life.
    So after that novel of a reply, lol, my advice is to reach out and talk openly and accept that you're going to experience a whole range of emotions throughout your journey. But it's normal and you'll get through it. And it's most definitely worth it.
    I would have more babies without hesitation these days if it were practical
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 29-06-2016 at 16:37.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    binnielici  (29-06-2016),KJane13  (29-06-2016)

  4. #3
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    Hi @~Marigold~ !
    Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate you sharing your story . Honestly I feel really hopeful now. I'd read stories like "I was scared but then everything was just great!", but it's reassuring to hear from someone who actually did have some struggles but came out the other side. Having struggled with depression and anxiety for so many years, when it comes back now I am just a completely different person -- I have this fight in me and I'm like nope not doing this again! I confide in my DH, go straight back to the psychologist and make sure to do things that make me happy / are good for my mental health (such as going out each day / getting some fresh air and sunshine). So perhaps if I do get PND I might be at an advantage as depression is nothing new to me and I know I've managed to pull myself out of the hole before. I feel I have the right support around me, and as a person I have a much stronger foundation.

    I honestly know in my heart that I WANT to have a baby, and as you said the roller coaster is just part of it .

    So again thanks for your reply! It's really helped me to see things / think clearly and honestly. It is pretty awesome that forums like this exist, and I'm glad that you didn't have the same struggles after your second baby .

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    ~Marigold~  (29-06-2016)

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    Having a baby in hands after wait of 9 months is a wonderful experience, that I would say at the same time its an emotional feeling too. Also you get promotion from your post of lady to a mother.

    My tears dropped down when I got to see my son whom I preserved for 9 months. Curiosity was to know how does he looks like.

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    KJane13  (03-07-2016)

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    Thanks for your input @marissapaul , that sounds so lovely I hope to experience that one day soon

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    marissapaul  (08-07-2016)

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    I don't think it matters if you are having your first baby or 10th every expecting mother fells this way.
    You wake up in the middle of the night with the dread of are we doing the right thing.
    You are aware of your past mental health issues, when you do fall pregnant talk to your doctor or midwifes about it and put a plan in place just incase.

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    KJane13  (04-07-2016)

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    Really, that sounds great. You too expecting.

    It was a very heart touching moment for me, but after some time my happiness had no words.

  13. #8
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    This could be possible as taking care of newborn is very difficult till they complete 3 yrs. This is what my mother said.

    Even I am facing difficulty to care him.


 

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