We have a big family in a small house so things can look like a tip very quickly. But I don't consider it unclean as it gets cleaned up - then tip like again very quickly. BUT one suggestion I would like to make is that when I have lots on my mind (I'm very busy in my head and can't focus and feel frazzled a lot of the time)...I just keep moving, picking up, binning rubbish, taking laundry out of each room, wiping a surface once it's cleared etc. I wander from room to room getting distracted cos there is a lot to do but even in that unorganised, frazzled state if I keep moving it does make a huge difference to how the place looks. I wish I could help you out.
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28-06-2016 19:43 #41Senior Member
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28-06-2016 22:14 #42Senior Member
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Depending on my state of mind really.. when ive not been doing well the house truly looks like the pits of hell. Dirty dishes for a week (or more) at a time, washed as needed. More likely to eat toast so i dont have to face it. Laundry baskets overflowing. Pizza boxes left on coffee table for days. Bathroom pretty gross - messy vanity, dirty mirrors, shower not so sparkly (although i always manage at least a 2 min toilet scrub if nothing else). Clean clothes never folded and put away - live in a washing basket/pile. Dirty tissues everywhere from ugly snotty crying. House can be like this for a week to several months at a time..
Reading that, I'm really quite embarrassed. But like i said that's when I'm not doing well 'upstairs'.
When I'm getting along well, i do at least a load of washing most days, bathroom is consistently clean and dishes done by night time at the latest-not left overnight. House might still be untidy and 'lived in' but certainly clean.
When I'm unwell i still try to stay on top of it all but it can be so overwhelming. So i understand how mental health issues can affect living standards. Definitely no judgement coming from me.
Just do what you can, even if it's just one thing all day. For me some days, that might mean putting some tissues in the bin off the coffee table, or washing JUST the cutlery or cups for example. It keeps me going to pick SOMETHING for the day.
Do what works for you xo
Last edited by Yoghurt; 28-06-2016 at 22:45.
29-06-2016 04:51 #43
For me my house is at tip status when it's untidy. I clean all the time but the kids and DH have a bad habit of leaving stuff wherever they put it and it drives me up the wall! I have anxiety and ocd so if my little area (my house) isn't comforting (which to me is clean) I get anxious and start panicking.
29-06-2016 06:21 #44
I was going to reply to this earlier but didn't know how to word it.
I've been on bubhub for many years and browsed over many "how often do you clean" threads in that time and come to the conclusion that one or more of the following applies:
a) people on here clean and tidy much more frequently than the general population, or
b) the people who reply to those threads clean and tidy a lot and the ones who don't clean much stay away because those threads make them feel like slobs, or
c) super busy people who don't have much time to prioritise cleaning probably also don't have much time for replying/forums
Plus, many people in these threads also point out that their OTT cleaning is due to anxiety/OCD.
I consider myself very fortunate that depression was only a temporary state for me (I suffered ante-natal depression only) but when I was in that horrible place I could barely find the motivation to take the next breath, let alone clean!
One thing that may help is to mentally turn it into your 'job' (eg. Like paid employment, it must be done). I found things that 'had' to be done got done because it was externally motivated.
Also, there are quite a few members on here who have worked in child services etc. They may be able to help you with a list of a few "top priority" cleaning items that would be red flags. That could help make the job of keeping your house acceptable a bit less of an overwhelming task.
Last edited by Stretched; 29-06-2016 at 06:24.
29-06-2016 06:45 #45
I think it's a very personal thing. I know our standards are much higher than some of our friends. I consider myself pretty neat and tidy and my DH is downright OCD (well not officially but I do think he has OCD tendencies with some things!).
For me, too messy is any more than 24 hours without washing up. I can't handle a messy kitchen. I refuse to start cooking until the dishes are all done, so it's extremely rare that would be the case at our place. Also fridge should be cleaned out each week before filling it with new groceries.
I can't stand visible dirt - bathrooms in particular. If I can see grime on the sink or vanity it grosses me out. So bathrooms need to be done fortnightly at a minimum, with sinks, vanities and toilets weekly. I even wipe down vanity in between if it gets makeup/toothpaste/hair etc on it.
Floors are probably my least concern. If it isn't visible I am not worried. Another fortnightly job for me but I do spot clean when needed. Food crumbs have to be cleaned up immediately or we get ants. I can't stand ants.
Other things - rubbish should be noticed before its overflowing. Toys should be put away when not in use, books on book shelf etc. I don't like it if I can't see the surface of a table, the dining and coffee tables are not storage areas. There is no need to hang onto old newspapers etc.
I also hate clutter. I think clutter both looks messy and invites dirt/grime as it hides things. So a cluttered house is a messy house.
I couldn't live in mess, I find it stressful and disgusting. I understand others are OK to and that's fine. But I probably wouldn't want my kids staying at their house etc. We have some friends we would never stay with because their house is just so messy it makes us feel uncomfortable.
29-06-2016 06:56 #46
If you're really struggling, the things I think you should focus on first and foremost would be:
1. Kitchen/food prep area. This absolutely needs cleaning daily. If it's daily it's habit and it's quick and the mess doesn't build up. It needs to be clean for hygiene and food safety purposes, and it's used very often. Rinse your glasses out and reuse them, try not to get a new plate out for every snack.
2. Rubbish - needs emptying several times a week. Again for hygiene purposes and it builds up if left.
3. Bathrooms/toilets - keep a roll of dettol bathroom wipes or similar under the sink and spot clean so it doesn't get really bad. Then try to clean the bathroom and toilets fortnightly. You can also get shower spray that you leave it the shower and give it a quick spray/wipe while your showering.
4. Clutter. I often think a large part of the problem with 'messy' houses is their level of clutter. Have a ruthless clean out and you're half way there. Then have a clean out at the start of each season - summer, winter etc.
I hope this helps OP. I think if you can start a fresh and create some good habits you will soon do then without thinking.
29-06-2016 12:01 #47
Clean as we go works for us. With both of us working fulltime we don't allocate a day we clean every week. Washing is done every second day at night then hung on the line then removed the next morning and folded as it comes in. Dishes are done and put away, benches and table wiped immediately after each meal. Dh sweeps the floor each afternoon when he gets home. Bin is emptied every morning. The boys are responsible for putting their toys away, keeping their room clean. Beds are stripped, changed, bathroom scrubbed, toilet scrubbed and floors washed every 2 weeks usually by dh.
We don't have a huge house and it could get untidy quickly but neither dh or I let it as we can't stand untidiness or clutter.
29-06-2016 12:13 #48
Dishes not done in 2+ days
Laundry washed but sitting in machine for 24h+
Laundry dry in drier for 24h+
Plates, cups, etc in every room (this is purely H)
Toys in every room (again H)
Crumbs on table, benches
Groceries (never meat of fridge/freezer stuff) on table, floor and benches
Table covered in papers, cigarettes, etc (H again)
Bins not emptied in 5+ days (h's only regular job and it is frequently 2 weeks or I have to do it- which he then flips out over).
Happens every week as H's idea of helping is "I will get to it in a few" and it could be days and he snaps about the mess (bi-polar so needs organisation) and I remind him that all the mess is his.
I love a tidy (clean) house.... but when bubba is awake she wants me all the time and will only sleep more than 10m on me.
ETA: I sweep and mop once a fortnight (used to do it every 3 days). Bathrooms get wiped down then too but are in dire need of a good scrub... they will be waiting.
H took some time off recently and was absolutely shocked at how much needs to be squeezed into the small time frames I sometimes have. Even more shocked that I have to do most of it while baby wearing- not great when recovering from a csection.
And yet, now that he is back at work it is like he has forgotten it all. Forgotten how much I hold the baby, how long it takes to settle her, how loud she screams, how she cannot be left to scream even for a minute as she panics and vomits.
This morning she slept for 30mins on our bed, and I took the opportunity, not to clean (which is desperately needed..seriously I have one set of clean clothing left), but to shower... first time in 3 days.
I feel like a complete failure most of the time. BUT when my baby turns to me and smiles because I am nearby, I know that I am doing what is right for her. And that this will get easier as she gets older.
Thank god for my step children. They are so so super helpful. They can see how much I have to do for her and offer to help all the time. I don't take them up on all of it as that's unfair, but they never have to be reminded to clean their room anymore, and they love doing dishes and hanging out laundry. Hence why things get done fortnightly..
Last edited by DT75; 29-06-2016 at 12:34.
29-06-2016 12:19 #49Senior Member
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- Mar 2014
29-06-2016 12:52 #50
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