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  1. #1
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    Default Totally trivial MIL WWYD

    My MIL is lovely, so compared to some of the MIL posts we see around here this is such a minor, silly problem!
    Nevertheless, I'm not sure how to approach it tactfully, or if I should just suck it up and deal with it (which I probably should, but maybe someone has some good suggestions!).

    So MIL will take DS for the day about once a month and they have a lovely time and I get an extra day's worth of work done. Great! But he comes home smelling very strongly of her perfume and it smells terrible to me! Not just hers, I don't like any perfumes or flowers or fragranced soap or anything like that. But he usually comes home so worn out from the exciting day at Grandma's that I don't have time to give him a thorough scrubbing and wash his hair before he's ready for bed (because I really don't like trying to wash the hair of a tired, grumpy toddler!). And we co-sleep so I'm kind of stuck with the smell all night. And I have to wash all of the clothes and things he's taken even if they're otherwise still clean because they all come back too fragrant for me.

    I haven't said anything because I don't want to offend her and I am really grateful for her help and for generally being a cool MIL.
    But, is there any polite way I can ask her to tone down the perfume on days she has him?
    WWYD?

  2. #2
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    Could you tell her it triggers headaches/migraines for you, and would she please consider using a little less when she has him so you're able to manage the rest of the evening with him.

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  4. #3
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    Also throw in there that you have a very silly request, and you feel ridiculous for even asking, but...

  5. #4
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    Sooo many solutions to choose from!
    - ask your mil to bring your DS home earlier so he can bathe before bed
    -put your DS to bed late and just deal with any tiredness
    - have DS sleep in his own bed (or is he is not used to being apart from you a toy camping bed on the floor)
    - let your DH sleep with DS that one night a month while you sleep in the spare bed
    -give your mil a perfume you like
    - casually mention fragrances give you headaches (I've done this with my mum before)
    - don't send your DS to your mil's (probably not a desireable option..)

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  7. #5
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    I reckon its totally trivial and wouldnt raise it tbh.

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  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    I reckon its totally trivial and wouldnt raise it tbh.
    I hate fragrances. My mums perfume gives me headaches. I don't necessarily think addressing the issue is trivial.

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    I reckon it would be rude tbh and telling her what to wear is not really cool. Bit like me telling you what to wear not to wear etc. There are a number of ways you could deal with it.

    Have your child returned a little earlier.
    Put him on a mattress next to your bed.
    Give him a quick bath change his clothes and just wipe his hair with a wet flannel and towel dry.

    I think the women is doing you a favour and i agree with the previous poster. Just petty stuff. Its not like its cigarette smoke or anything.

  11. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Also throw in there that you have a very silly request, and you feel ridiculous for even asking, but...
    Yes this if you must raise it and just laught it off saying something like "I don't know why I get this headache when I smell perfume I'm so sorry for asking I feel silly etc etc etc".

    However personally I would wash DS as soon as he got home and not mention it.

  12. #9
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    I would do the 'get him home earlier' thing.

    I get what you mean about strong perfume. I cannot deal with it and get headaches.

    What time does she drop him off home?

  13. #10
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    Surely just a quick shower would get rid of it?


 

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