After 3years of TTC and our first round of IVF we were so excited to be expecting. After a rough start of spotting and bleeds & a GD diagnosis at 6 weeks, we made it to 12 weeks and our NIPT was perfect & things settled down.
Fast forward to Thursday 16/6 & we couldn't find a HB with our Doppler at home. One of my girl friends is a midwife at our local hospital so we went to her house and she tried for an hour with no luck. I knew then our baby girl's heart had stopped beating sometime that day.
We went to our Ob first thing Friday morning and her scan confirmed that our little miss who couldn't keep still for all our previous scans etc was laying motionless on the screen.
I'm sure you could hear our hearts shatter in that room.
We decided to induce the same day so hubby could be there the whole time (currently off work). 16.5hrs after induction started I delivered our sweet baby girl Charlotte Rose into the world on the 18/6 @ 7.07am, ever so peacefully and in the caul (that's meant to be good luck).
I've been through this before but Jacob was sick so it made more sense. This time round we had a perfect baby girl and so far no answers as to why she passed. It's killing me knowing she was perfect and I couldn't keep her safe.
Today was Charlotte's funeral and it was the hardest day of my life. I lost it at the cemetery when sitting at Charlotte's grave I could see her brother Jacob's grave directly behind her plot. I'm so grateful they're together (quite literally) but damn it was gut wrenching to see both my baby's graves laying right in front of me.
I would do anything to have her back. I just can't believe this has happened again. Burying a child once is a lifetime is more than enough but what makes me so special to have to do it twice!!!!!
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22-06-2016 23:28 #1
22-06-2016 23:36 #2
You are an amazing woman who has been dealt much more than her heart should ever have the burden of.
You know that the entire Dec DIG has you and Charlotte in our thoughts, always. Xox
22-06-2016 23:37 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2016
Couldnt read and run..
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss..
I can't imagine the pain you're going through right now
Huge hugs sent your way
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22-06-2016 23:58 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
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23-06-2016 00:00 #5
Also couldn't read and run. Sending huge hugs to you, life really is so cruel sometimes x
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23-06-2016 00:32 #6
I am so very sorry to hear about your beautiful precious angel Charlotte Rose. Life really is unfair sometimes and I know that no words will ever help ease your pain. A few girls who have also suffered stillbirth loss have a private group on here that you are more than welcome to join.
Be kind to yourself hun and just take each day at a time x
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23-06-2016 01:41 #7
I'm so very very sorry for your losses. Life is incredibly cruel sometimes.
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23-06-2016 02:29 #8
Life is so cruel. What an unimaginable loss I'm so very, very sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through.
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23-06-2016 02:39 #9
I have no words but a deep ache in my gut whilst reading this. I am so deeply sorry and have no idea what to say. No one should have to go through that once let alone twice. Biggest hugs.
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23-06-2016 07:06 #10-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
So sorry xxx no one should have to bury a child. You chose a lovely name for your little girl - I'm sure she knows she was incredibly loved xxx
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