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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkers View Post
    Being a doctor op, im sure you are aware of this?
    well I did some preliminary research, but I've never worked in Reproductive Medicine, so no. That's why I was asking if people had experienced outside the general guidelines I had seen on various fertility clinic websites.

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    Tinkers  (17-06-2016)

  3. #22
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    When I was going through my cycle I became chatty with two guys in the waiting room. They had found someone willing to donate eggs (a stranger going through advertising) and a friend was acting as a surrogate. The surrogate had never had kids but was doing it for them just because she was curious to know what it's like to carry a child.

    Maybe start with donating eggs, there are no shortage of people looking for egg donors. People just might be more hesitant about surrogacy as you can freak out at the end and you have legal rights. Once the eggs are donated you don't get a say so it's seen as less chancy for the intended parents. If you've donated eggs then wang to surrogate I'm sure clinics would be more on board

  4. #23
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    If your goal is to purely help somebody else/couple to have a baby then I would perhaps look at donating eggs. To be a surrogate to experience pregnancy just seems a little odd to me sorry.

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  6. #24
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    It's more then being a surrogate to see how you would feel being pregnant to emphasise with patients. "IF" it where to happen there are many complications that can occur, you could end up with pre-eclampsia and not be allowed to work at all, have placenta previa grade 4 which I have (placenta is completely covering my cervix) at the end of pregnancy or even before you will end up with a c-sec then you cannot work nor drive for a minimum of 6weeks. Being on Your feet all day as a doctor doing long shifts and being pregnant with a child you want no emotional attachment to. It's the emotional physical toll that pregnancy takes on a women's body. I'm on strict bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy with a planned emergency c-sec in a few weeks time. I cannot do anything at home at all, no cooking no cleaning, washing iron etc. My DH has to do it all for me and he works up to 10/12 hour days. These are things you need to think seriously about.

    But like what others have said donating eggs would be better then being a surrogate. It doesn't take as much time to do as a pregnancy. Once the IVF process is started with injections and egg retrievals it can over in a couple of weeks but there is a lot of counselling involved on both sides aswel.

    With surrogacy it's not just take some eggs out and fertilise them and whack em back in. Embryo transfer isn't 100% guaranteed to work on the first go. It could 3,4,5 times before it works. This process can take up to 18 months to 2 years with a hopefully a viable pregnancy in their that is 9 months.

    Their are appts, scans, blood test, injections all before an egg collection then there is more afterwards aswell then waiting for a couple of weeks to see "if" the transfer worked

    Donating would be faster and easier on your body and mind rather then surrogacy.

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  8. #25
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    Most clinics won't let you be a surrogate unless you have had a prior pregnancy. I doubt anyone would let you use their embryos with no proven fertility either as IVF is expensive enough.

  9. #26
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    Speaking only for myself here but I absolutely hated the drs and midwives that drew their own experiences when providing care. The best care I received was from my male Ob, a male midwife and the ones that hadn't had children.

    Personal experience doesn't make a good doctor. What next, are you going to purposely go and contract HIV to empathise with your ID patients?... Evidence based medicine from a caring medical professional who is willing to listen, validate concerns and effectively (and respectfully) communicate is all most people want.

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  11. #27
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    I think surrogacy should come from a place of true altruism. Your desire is not altruistic at its heart, altruism seems a distant second to your own personal (and my opinion odd) desire to experience pregnancy.
    I would really caution against it even if you could find a clinic that would do it. I think women who have gone through pregnancy and had their own children are in a much better place to be a surrogate as they understand the feelings and emotions of being pregnant and are making a conscious decision to help someone with a fuller understanding of what's to come. You have not been pregnant therefore who knows how you will feel once pregnancy hormones kick in and you feel baby kick for the first time, your belly grows and you give birth. At least if you've done it before you know what to expect and how it feels and can make a more objective assessment of your mental and physical capacity to do this enormous deed. A better option for you would be to donate eggs but as your prime desire is not to help others that may not interest you.
    As a health professional, you do not need to experience the health issue to have empathy for your patients. As a pp has said would you feel the need to experience a broken leg, breast cancer, mental illness to adequately treat and relate to your patients?
    I think it's a thought bubble but no more than that, it's not practical imho op.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    I think surrogacy should come from a place of true altruism. Your desire is not altruistic at its heart, altruism seems a distant second to your own personal (and my opinion odd) desire to experience pregnancy.
    I would really caution against it even if you could find a clinic that would do it. I think women who have gone through pregnancy and had their own children are in a much better place to be a surrogate as they understand the feelings and emotions of being pregnant and are making a conscious decision to help someone with a fuller understanding of what's to come. You have not been pregnant therefore who knows how you will feel once pregnancy hormones kick in and you feel baby kick for the first time, your belly grows and you give birth. At least if you've done it before you know what to expect and how it feels and can make a more objective assessment of your mental and physical capacity to do this enormous deed. A better option for you would be to donate eggs but as your prime desire is not to help others that may not interest you.
    As a health professional, you do not need to experience the health issue to have empathy for your patients. As a pp has said would you feel the need to experience a broken leg, breast cancer, mental illness to adequately treat and relate to your patients?
    I think it's a thought bubble but no more than that, it's not practical imho op.
    Absolutely this.

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  15. #29
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    Default Becoming a surrogate despite no prior pregnancy?

    I'm just curious OP, you mentioned you had a partner. What's their view on you wanting to do this? Do they want children in the future at all?

  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky27 View Post
    I'm just curious OP, you mentioned you had a partner. What's their view on you wanting to do this? Do they want children in the future at all?
    nope, on the same page as me. doesn't want kids, happy to be an uncle.


 

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