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  1. #21
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    I can see where your recovery clinician is coming from. I'm assuming that they will have strategies in place for you should you be successful with the court order bid?

    At the same time - your DS will not necessarily be happiest there long term, since he has clearly indicated he wants to be with you, and while they'll have things in place to make sure he is well cared for, they can't love him like his mum loves him.

    Your DS is clearly not happy with your parents (understandably), and he definitely deserves more than what he is getting from them. I hope the courts listen to you and your DS. And I hope that the strategies your team put in place keep you safe.

    Thinking of you xx

  2. #22
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    Your son is legally old enough to have *some* level of input into where he lives and your mother is beyond toxic. I do get where your Psych is coming from, but your son shouldn't be with your parents. From what I've read your mother may well have MI of her own?

  3. #23
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    No I would try and pull my $hit together and not abandon my child
    But in saying that, I'm not in your position and haven't been. I know how hard mental illness is to battle though. Sending you strength.

  4. #24
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    I would want my child to live with someone else who could better provide for him but I wouldn't "walk" away. I'd want to have regular contact and visitation.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reneeharry View Post
    No I would try and pull my $hit together and not abandon my child
    But in saying that, I'm not in your position and haven't been. I know how hard mental illness is to battle though. Sending you strength.

    People with mental illness especially severe cases often "cant" pull their sh!t togehter. I actually that's a pretty unfair statement to make. She obviously is trying really hard.

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  7. #26
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    Default would you leave your child

    Difficult one. My dh had this occur for him as he was just going into high school. He was then shipped around until he was an adult and went his own way. He is a strong, get on with it type and it did some major damage. If he was a sensitive soul I believe the damage could have been catastrophic. He says that he felt he was never wanted and was something (like an object or an unwanted pet) that had to be looked after but they didn't want to look after. The first few months were always ok but then the shine wore off and it became a hassle. He was a good kid who managed to come out of high school with good grades etc (because he wanted more for his life). I think it's a huge gamble.

    He doesn't speak to his mother now. He said despite all her excuses (mental issues being one of them) it was her responsibility to pull her self together for her children and get them to the other end best she could. He says if you have children they are your responsibility.

    He has trust issues, had respect issues with women, needs reassurance etc. he had to raise his sibling while he was still a child but the minute he was separated and essentially fostered out he felt forever unwanted.

    I happen to have a different view but then again how can I argue with someone who has been through it? I can't. So I will leave you with his view (the child's view in this situation).

    As a previous poster mentioned that they wished the parent just got their sh*t together, my husband will angrily say the same. Not the responsibility of the child to wear.

    Please don't quote due to privacy reasons. I may wish to delete as its not my story. Thanks.
    Last edited by 1CrazyMoose; 04-10-2016 at 08:19.

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    People with mental illness especially severe cases often "cant" pull their sh!t togehter. I actually that's a pretty unfair statement to make. She obviously is trying really hard.
    What are you talking about? I said I would try but I'm not in her position and haven't been!
    How about you read what I said properly before quoting me ?

  9. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reneeharry View Post
    What are you talking about? I said I would try but I'm not in her position and haven't been!
    How about you read what I said properly before quoting me ?
    I think the issue was your first sentence and following up with "I've haven't been in that position" doesn't make your first comment less nasty. It was a little harsh considering her son is currently in someone else's care and she is having a very bad time at the moment.


    I've been incredibly depressed, to the point of self harming, self medicating with sedatives etc. Your suggestion that you could just sort your sh!t out is at best naive and worst harmful.

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  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    I think the issue was your first sentence and following up with "I've haven't been in that position" doesn't make your first comment less nasty. It was a little harsh considering her son is currently in someone else's care and she is having a very bad time at the moment.


    I've been incredibly depressed, to the point of self harming, self medicating with sedatives etc. Your suggestion that you could just sort your sh!t out is at best naive and worst harmful.
    Have to agree here... Your statement makes it sound as though it's a simple process to pull your $hit together when dealing with mental illness. Unfortunately it isn't that easy. I think it's more about the wording, it comes across more judgemental than compassionate.

  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by bwrlab View Post
    Have to agree here... Your statement makes it sound as though it's a simple process to pull your $hit together when dealing with mental illness. Unfortunately it isn't that easy. I think it's more about the wording, it comes across more judgemental than compassionate.
    I don't think she was being awful, just perhaps blunt. Some people are more direct than others. She stated she hadn't been in the OP shoes and that she was sending strength. Some don't beat around the bush, we all have different personalities. I don't see what she said harmful or unfair to the OP. The OP also asked a question on whether you would or not. The question was answered. If you ask questions, you don't always recurve the answer you imagine. That's the interesting part about different personalities. Be kind hubbers, she wasn't being cruel otherwise the rest of her post wouldn't have been supportive.

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