I don't think you should give the Sunday night up, but I do think you should tell your dh to pull his finger out and start shouldering more of the load with her.
Results 31 to 40 of 95
08-06-2016 12:46 #31
08-06-2016 12:46 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
08-06-2016 12:48 #33
Yes DF actively helping would help with the situation but I don't know how to make that happen. He would just constantly drop DSD to school late if they weren't ready to leave on time which in my eyes is not ok. Yes I could scream & yell at him about it but I just don't think that will fix the problem.
08-06-2016 12:50 #34
08-06-2016 12:51 #35
I feel my post is getting off topic. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to minimise the impact these Monday school mornings will have on my DD and newborn or not? I have put details in a previous comment ^^^^
08-06-2016 12:53 #36
I think you need to tell DH that if HE wants the sunday night with his daughter, it is HIS responsibility to get her up, ready for school, & out the house. Heck, he can help with lunches and washing uniforms, too. Perhaps he could spend some special time with all 3 kids (newborn included) - either a long bath time, or stories in their bedroom, etc - for an hour on sunday nights so you can get a few things ready? I would just let him get her ready in the mornings. If she isnt ready, he will be late. He will learn soon enough to shape up, or he will suffer lateness for it. Having a newborn is tough, & it can be really stressful working out how it will all work out, especially with older kids. Perhaps if you are struggling in those early weeks, you could ask for him to drop her home sundays for the first 3 months of the babies life? Thats only 6 times he will miss out on those sunday nights. When the baby has passed those first few months, things always feel easier .
08-06-2016 13:00 #37
As for what to do, honestly in so many ways it's organic. I look back on when my eldest started school and so much was trial and error. You can't do it all with a newborn as well. Is your DH likely to sit back and let you shoulder the burden or would he step in?
You should probably have an honest talk to him. But I find with my husband we need to be in the thick of it before he gets what needs to be done. As much as you plan these things some people just can't or won't adjust their ways until it's all falling apart around them and they have to.
I do feel for you.
08-06-2016 13:01 #38
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08-06-2016 13:02 #39Member
- Join Date
- May 2016
I don't think it will affect your newborn as such, he or she will have young kids in the house from day one. Unless you are going to make your combined children to be quite from day dot the new born will sleep through the noise or wake up for a feed and go back to sleep.
It's the way it goes when you have more than one child and a new born in the house.
I am understanding of your situation and think it will be hard on your dsd to be leaving the house that early if your df does want to keep her for that long however now I think about it my kids have been in before school care from that time since the 2nd week of prep. So it can be done and they get use to it.
With school clothes - if you can not get them washed and dried in time on the weekend can you just buy a extra set of school clothes to keep on that weekend? That way you always have a set at your house? It won't cost you that much to get one shirt and pants?
Time management - in the morning your daughter will wake up early, she can watch tv for a extra hour. Obviously the girls get along? They might like being able to get ready together.
Losing time with your daughter - I actually find that a bit upsetting that you see it that way. You have her all during the week by herself, you dad is part of your family. You have a newborn on the way sorry you won't get one on one time for a while. Make a day during the week your one on one time. What about the other weekend the step daughter is at her mums? Can you make that one on one time?
I see both sides of this - I totally understand your side of the extra person and stress. But in realty one more doesn't make that much of a issue. Your making a lunch anyway what's one more? It takes 2 more seconds.
What does you df do now in the mornings? Could having all her stuff like school clothes shoes socks bag ready in the lounge room on Sunday night work out easier? So she sees it and knows she has to get dressed?
08-06-2016 13:07 #40
Could you purchase another uniform for her to wear on the Monday and then you keep the one she's worn on Friday and have the whole fortnight to wash it ready to swap around the following fortnight? She'll come on Friday with her lunchbox and everything she needs so use those and pack while you're packing your own daughter's lunch? Your DF needs to step up and help with the care of his own daughter! I'm assuming your daughter is at school? Get him to mirror you while you're organising your daughter, ie I'm just brushing X's hair so you can brush Y's teeth then we'll swap and you can brush Y's hair while I'm doing X's teeth etc.
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