My husband and I have decided to separate. We have a 2 and 4 year old and are really struggling with how and what to tell them. Our 2 year old not so much but our 4 year old is very inquisitive and family oriented. Any advice from anyone who may have been here would be greatly appreciated x
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07-06-2016 16:10 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2016
Marriage breakdown @ Toddlers
07-06-2016 19:10 #2
My parents divorced when I was 8. My youngest brother was around 4 or 5. I only have a vague recollection of the conversation.
I think the key points are :
- Mummy and daddy both love you very much - start and end the conversation with this.
- We aren't going to live with each other any more
- Nothing you did caused this - include this as often as necessary
- You'll still see both of us (go into detail if you know it) - include this as often as necessary.
- You can call whenever you want
- Answer any questions you can honestly, and if it is not something you should burden your kids with say something to the effect of "that's something that mummy and daddy will talk about and figure out" or "that's not something that you need to worry about" or whatever would make most sense to your kids.
It'll be a hard conversation. And really, there will be no right time. You just need to sit them down and say we have something we really need to talk to you about. It might make you sad, or even angry, and that's ok. You can always tell us how you feel, and we'll be right here for you.
07-06-2016 19:55 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
We have nearly 3 year olds now and separated when they were 2 1/2. We mostly talked about mummy and them living somewhere else and that daddy would stay in our house but visit us. I didn't do a really big talk to begin with, but prepped them with tons of small talks and references to what was happening as we packed to move. Now i answer things as best i can as they arise and the main thing i feel is that i always make them feel like they can ALWAYS ask and talk about their dad.
07-06-2016 20:26 #4
I haven't really told my kids much just yet as my world is a blur right now. I told DD daddy is working and is in the other princess house as she likes to call it and we are staying at nannies. We will visit on the plane or daddy will. We call every night vice versa.
We are doing relationship counselling etc. but also in separate states. DS just copies dd.
I tell her we love daddy lots. Printed photos for her as she gets upset she can't see him as much etc. and I suppose my kids are spoilt 💓
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