I am quite aware that I don't own her. You are also correct, she is very calm and collected. Very rational.
Sexualising the situation was mentioned earlier and I did admit that perhaps I am doing just this. But upon thinking about it more I don't believe that's the case. Or perhaps it only a part of it.
What I am feeling more is protectiveness. The need to protect her from anything bad happening. I am the reason medically that we need IVF. There is nothing wrong with her. I feel really guilty about this.
This whole thing just doesn't make sense which is why I'm hear talking.
Thanks for your input :-)
Results 31 to 40 of 177
29-05-2016 09:22 #31
29-05-2016 09:26 #32
29-05-2016 09:27 #33
Extremely uncomfortable with another man touching or seeing her there.
I don't control anything that she does. She wouldn't let me if I tried and I have no intentions or draw to do so.
I'm sad and angry at myself that a happy moment has this crap attached to it.
Thanks for taking the time. :-)
29-05-2016 09:27 #34
Trust me, as someone who had to do IVF because of their partner, it's irrelevant why you're there. You're a team and you are in this together.
The IVF clinic will have counsellors attached to it. Please contact them tomorrow and arrange some counselling for yourself. You don't need to protect her in this journey, she needs your support and at the moment you're not giving her that while you're focussed on your own problems.
Please don't identify yourself on this forum. If you are genuine about helping her, help yourself.
29-05-2016 09:28 #35Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
I would hazard a guess that maybe your feelings of guilt may be more of a reason. And somehow is projected onto any male that may be involved in rhe procedures (kinda like you feel you could not do it on your own and feel like another male is taking your place)???
29-05-2016 09:34 #36Junior Member
- Join Date
- May 2016
Please seek help immediately!
EVERYTHING Vic Park said and so much more. Dont even know where to start, or finish, if this post is actually genuine. Please leave your 'lady' and go and get some serious therapy before you consider continuing your relationship, let alone bringing another soul into the world (and God forbid, a female one).
29-05-2016 09:36 #37
I think people are questioning your sincerity and genuineness (is that even a word?) is because you're making what is clearly a non-issue for your partner a MASSIVE issue. The only way to fix it is to see a counsellor so you can talk to a professional about how to deal with these feelings and emotions and how to control them. I can assure you that I have never once heard a male doctor I have worked with (of which there are many - probably more than females) talk about a patients genitals in a sexual or derogatory way. I highly doubt that they all sit out in the doctors room discussing a procedure they have just done in a sexual or derogatory way, because it is just that... a procedure. There is a reason doctors, midwives and nurses can say words like vagina, penis, vulva, semen, cervix etc etc without giggling like schoolgirls and boys. It's because it's part of our daily life. We talk about them, we look at them and we touch them all day long. Ok that last bit sounds wrong, but I'm sure you can get my point. As others have said, this is something you need to address before you go much further. What happens when your partner has an ultrasound and they want to perform a transvaginal ultrasound and the sonographer is male? Like it or not, you will encounter male professionals along your journey. If your partner has no problem with it, then neither should you. Infertility and IVF is already stressful enough without having to worry about your distorted perceptions of what is or isn't happening. Please talk to your partner about how you are feeling, but don't project it on to her. This is your issue, not hers. Then maybe see your GP and ask for a referral to a good counsellor. Best of luck to you and your partner.
29-05-2016 10:01 #38
Irrational problem. Looking for anything to hold on to.
I only created this account December 2014. I did this when I found out that we were unexpectedly expecting our first. This didn't pan out in the end.
I will follow up on the BH website as I am definitely not the person I have been accused of being (female, husband with kids)
My username is an acronym. The 'T' stands for team, the 'C' is my first name and the 'K' is her first name.
I use the term "My Lady" as I don't know what acronyms to use. I don't use it as a possessive term. I use it with respect. Note the capital 'L' every time I use it. If this weren't an anonymous forum I would use her first name, without the 'my' in front of it.
Despite some responses being helpful and others seem to be people sharpening their claws on me, the end result is the same.
It seems I need more help than a forum such as this one can give.
Thank you M'LadyEm for your rational responses. You gave me the handle I was grasping for.
Last edited by TCK; 29-05-2016 at 10:30.
29-05-2016 10:13 #39
I have been present for internal ultrasound scans with my ex wife and also my current partner. Initially I didn't really have an issue with them except for a little awkwardness that I expect would be fairly common.
Your guess made me think and it has definitely hit something.
I certainly do have a big problem with another man taking my place, even if it's using my own semen. I have strong feelings about a man doing/finishing the job I should be able to do. Until your comment I just didn't know.
You may have just identified my problem. I am so hoping that you have!!!
29-05-2016 10:17 #40
That is not the case here. I am about to log in to the BH website and see what people are talking about. I created this account from scratch. There was no changing anything.
I resent the implication of your last sentence. It's not fair, it's not nice and it's not correct.
SoftmatsSoftmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Married At First Sight 2017Movies / Music / Books / TV Chat
TTC #1 - Conception & Due Date TimingConception & Fertility General Chat
Albert?Choosing Baby Names
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
Any thoughts on my mysterious toddler? :-)General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
IUI - first time fertility treatmentNon-IVF fertility assistance