I know it's hard to hear but what you have written is so deeply and personally offensive to many of us that the responses are going to be harsh. I wish your DP luck with this pregnancy.
Results 121 to 130 of 177
30-05-2016 08:44 #121
30-05-2016 08:54 #122
Finding the dr is not the main point here op. It's WHY you feel this way. Your DP, your child, their vaginas, they are not yours to feel ownership over.
30-05-2016 08:58 #123
30-05-2016 09:02 #124
TCK, I haven't replied before but I've been giving this some thought.
You know what, if my DH needed to see a urologist I would feel a little iffy if it was a youngish, attractivish female. Not that I would think she is thinking anything sexual, more just that I feel DH's bits are for him and me. It wouldn't make my vision blur with fury or worry, but it would just not sit right on some level. If it was causing me great angst, then I would either find someone IRL I could confide in to "get it all out" or if necessary talk to a psychologist. I'm guessing you are considering this option and I say, go for it! It just may take seeing more than 1 to find one you click with.
FWIW, I can also see how irrational my thoughts are. I haven't been through IVF but I had abnormal cervical cells requiring repeated checks and treatments, ovarian cysts requiring internal ultrasounds, a D&C, failing pregnancies requiring many ultrasounds also, plus had 2 kids! Hell, during one colposcopy they asked if the student OB/gyns could come observe so I had an additional 5 people taking a turn to look through the magnifier at my cervix. Being public I rarely got a choice and mostly it was males. None of this bothered me, yet I would understand my DH feeling a bit odd about the male Drs, purely for the same reasons I have. Our genitals are special to just us as a couple.
I don't have trust issues, or possessiveness, DH can do pretty much what he wants (I didn't bat an eyelid at him going to Vegas for a bucks last year) but if I ask myself honestly, deep down part of me would have an issue with a female Dr touching my husband's p3nis or scrotum.
30-05-2016 11:01 #125
30-05-2016 12:17 #126
Then I find it puzzling that you can't understand why the OP might be having a problem with what feelings/issues having MFI are bringing up for him???
I get you can't get your head around the fact the OP has an issue with male health care providers, I'm talking about not being able to have any empathy for where he's at trying to deal with/process his thoughts/feelings around his infertility issues.
Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 30-05-2016 at 12:24.
30-05-2016 14:27 #127
It's the fact that he needs to accept being in the public health system you don't get a choice in what doctor you see. If you want a women 100% of time and guaranteed a women then you need to pay for it by going the private route which he says they cannot do.
30-05-2016 15:21 #128
Wow babybeeno1. You're still going.
Humour me on this one.
Why do you believe I am here on this forum?
Do you believe I don't know how the public health system works?
Do you think if I could afford private health, this this would be a problem for me? Would I not just ask my DP to use females all the time?
30-05-2016 15:41 #129
There has been so many derogatory posts here it is utterly fascinating.
I have re-read my initial post and from that I have received responses such as:
That I am controlling.
Ownership of my partner.
That I am mistreating her.
I am unfit to have or even be around children until I fix this.
Implications of pedophilia.
That I am sick in the head.
If I tried to control my partner she would tell me where to stick it.
If I told her what to do, or where to go or what to say she would tell me a whole lot more than you guys have told me here, plus she'd probably leave me if I kept going.
DP does as she pleases, when she pleases. We both do.
We let each other know what we're doing but at no point does she ever ask my permission. Not does she need to. I would never never even dream being like that, especially after my ex wife did exactly that to me. I was constantly monitored. Had to have a reason for going to or doing anything.
I was frequently accused by her of being physically abusive, where the only times she was ever hurt by me was when I was trying to hold her wrists to stop her from laying into me because of something I said wrong. I've had several black eyes from her yet I'm the abuser.
I got out of that by running and leaving everything behind.
Now what makes you think I would EVER turn around and do the same to my partner?
We are both free from having to explain anything we do except for decisions that affect both of us, such as finances. We discuss those.
She has many male friends and several male practitioners of different fields.
Excuse me for feeling majorly uncomfortable having another man see my DP naked from the waist down, regardless of his profession.
Some of you took this to a sexual place. A place I did say could be playing a part. I retract that upon thinking about it. This is not sexual in nature.
I have never told her that she cannot see male practitioners and I never will. If she told me right now that she will only ever see male gynosand fert specialists I would certainly question it, but I would never stop her. I would have to wear it.
But she does not mind seeing only females. She doesn't care a damn. I asked her if it would be OK if we only saw females as of last week and she said that it was fine. She truly doesn't care.
Keyword here is "asked".
There is no immediate problem at the moment. I came here of my own accord to get opinions and see if I was an odd one out. To see if maybe I could get around this uncomfortability on my own to make things easier for us both, particularly when we have no choice but to see a male.
Some of you have gone off on such wide tangents and it has resulted in the abuse I have received from several of you.
For a short while today I was even questioning my own sanity. Are these women/ladies correct? Am I really like this?
No! I am not.
Perhaps I haven't conveyed myself adequately. Perhaps I have been too honest and it has frightened you. Perhaps it is not I that needs to "get over it".
When we go to the beach she wears her two price bikini, I love it! I love seeing her in short shorts and skimpy clothes. Even out in public. She looks amazing.
I simply am not comfortable having another man looking at her naked. Period.
Talk about mountains out of ****ing mole hills!
30-05-2016 16:11 #130
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