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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybeeno1 View Post
    well I do have a partner and my OB/gyno/fertility has done everything on body and seen more then what my partner has and he has and has never had an issue with it being a guy !! And if he had said one word out of place while I was having appts I would of said bugger off out the room. And he has read these posts and I've asked him want would you do, response to his best mate or mates that have had kids with their partners to see what their thoughts are. If the poster has had this issue only with this partner what is the difference with all of his other partners that he has had relationships with and the ex wife and the doctors that performed D&C on them after the miscarriages he has talked about. If the poster see's everything as sexualisation towards his partner then he has a trust issues with her. He has stated that he only wants to go in the public system because they cannot afford private health insurance, well the public system you get what your given male or female no choice this is also what he needs to realise and if he can't get through that even with counselling then he needs to reconsider having children as the baby could be a girl and what if they get a male paediatrician. Is that going to be controlled aswell. If you want female only and can't get over the male factor in anyway then they will have to go private and have a female OB but there could still be male midvives on duty and there is another issue at hand again
    For a start...he's never had to go down the ART road with any of his previous partners/ Ex wife from my understanding which is where & what, I believe, is the catalyst for all these thoughts, feelings & behaviours.

    ETA- Furthermore...Have you and your Partner had to go down the ART road to conceive your children???

    Unless you have, it's all good you surveying your husband/his mates on what he/they *think* they would do/feel in the same situation, but unless you've actually experienced it or are experiencing it yourself, it's a moot point and a waste of time as the truth of the matter is you have NFI what you'd do, think, feel or how you'd behave unless or until you go through it yourelf.

    You can take it from me that most people have all sorts of irrational thoughts and feelings about all sorts of different things and the way they manifest themselves in your own head is different for everyone, but the theme(s) can be and often are similar among people/sexes.
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 30-05-2016 at 07:06.

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by lileitak View Post
    While a part of me commends OP for reaching out, I think he knows he needs professional help. I think before they continue with IVF.

    I'd also be concerned if they have a daughter. Something about OP makes me very uneasy, and that is rare.

    OP please go see your GP for a referral. Today. For your wife's and future children sake.
    What exactly are you implying by that?? What is it that makes you uneasy??

    Treading on thin ice if your mind is going in the direction I think it is.

  3. #103
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    I'm pulling back from this thread.

    I have reached out for help on an issue that is a serious one and very destructive.

    I do not feel comfortable with a male fertility Dr. or Gynaecologist. Simple.

    Except for a select few of you who have actually helped me to dig and think and you would know who you are, all I have received is nastiness, judgement and to be told I have a problem. No **** Sherlock. That's why I'm ****ing here.

    Spent the day talking to women I don't know? Nay, I spent the day talking to people I thought might be able to help me make my partners life easier because of a problem that I have. She was sitting right next to me the whole day. We had a lazy day inside.

    And how dare any of you to mention a fear of me having a daughter. I don't know exactly what you were getting at, but if you were a man saying that to my face it would have earned you a very broken nose. I care for my family deeply, including my two nieces who are 1 and two years old, that are left in my care frequently. I will kill any person that aimed to harm them.

    Perhaps that's my problem. Caring too much.

    Thank you for all your posts everyone. Some of them were quite helpful.

    But for now, I am going back to doing what I do. Not talk about it.

    If this experience has shown me anything, the stereotype of a bunch of women in a room is very true.

    Thank you to those who stood up for me.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to TCK For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (30-05-2016)

  5. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    I'm pulling back from this thread.

    I have reached out for help on an issue that is a serious one and very destructive.

    I do not feel comfortable with a male fertility Dr. or Gynaecologist. Simple.

    Except for a select few of you who have actually helped me to dig and think and you would know who you are, all I have received is nastiness, judgement and to be told I have a problem. No **** Sherlock. That's why I'm ****ing here.

    Spent the day talking to women I don't know? Nay, I spent the day talking to people I thought might be able to help me make my partners life easier because of a problem that I have. She was sitting right next to me the whole day. We had a lazy day inside.

    And how dare any of you to mention a fear of me having a daughter. I don't know exactly what you were getting at, but if you were a man saying that to my face it would have earned you a very broken nose. I care for my family deeply, including my two nieces who are 1 and two years old, that are left in my care frequently. I will kill any person that aimed to harm them.

    Perhaps that's my problem. Caring too much.

    Thank you for all your posts everyone. Some of them were quite helpful.

    But for now, I am going back to doing what I do. Not talk about it.

    If this experience has shown me anything, the stereotype of a bunch of women in a room is very true.

    Thank you to those who stood up for me.
    I hope you are ok

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  7. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    I'm pulling back from this thread.

    I have reached out for help on an issue that is a serious one and very destructive.

    I do not feel comfortable with a male fertility Dr. or Gynaecologist. Simple.

    Except for a select few of you who have actually helped me to dig and think and you would know who you are, all I have received is nastiness, judgement and to be told I have a problem. No **** Sherlock. That's why I'm ****ing here.

    Spent the day talking to women I don't know? Nay, I spent the day talking to people I thought might be able to help me make my partners life easier because of a problem that I have. She was sitting right next to me the whole day. We had a lazy day inside.

    And how dare any of you to mention a fear of me having a daughter. I don't know exactly what you were getting at, but if you were a man saying that to my face it would have earned you a very broken nose. I care for my family deeply, including my two nieces who are 1 and two years old, that are left in my care frequently. I will kill any person that aimed to harm them.

    Perhaps that's my problem. Caring too much.

    Thank you for all your posts everyone. Some of them were quite helpful.

    But for now, I am going back to doing what I do. Not talk about it.

    If this experience has shown me anything, the stereotype of a bunch of women in a room is very true.

    Thank you to those who stood up for me.
    And you have shown us that the stereotype of a man who resorts to violence when he hears something he doesn't like is true. In one post, you have managed to make a death threat, threaten to break someone's nose and implied that all women are nasty b*tches. What do you expect people on the Internet to do other than tell you you need professional help? If you know you have a problem, go and talk to a professional about it, as the overwhelming majority of posts have suggested. In a predominantly female forum, the concern is always going to be for your wife and your latest post has done nothing to allay those concerns. Nobody on the internet can truly help you...if you really want to do something, be proactive and stop looking for an armchair solution.

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  9. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    I'm pulling back from this thread.

    I have reached out for help on an issue that is a serious one and very destructive.

    I do not feel comfortable with a male fertility Dr. or Gynaecologist. Simple.

    Except for a select few of you who have actually helped me to dig and think and you would know who you are, all I have received is nastiness, judgement and to be told I have a problem. No **** Sherlock. That's why I'm ****ing here.

    Spent the day talking to women I don't know? Nay, I spent the day talking to people I thought might be able to help me make my partners life easier because of a problem that I have. She was sitting right next to me the whole day. We had a lazy day inside.

    And how dare any of you to mention a fear of me having a daughter. I don't know exactly what you were getting at, but if you were a man saying that to my face it would have earned you a very broken nose. I care for my family deeply, including my two nieces who are 1 and two years old, that are left in my care frequently. I will kill any person that aimed to harm them.

    Perhaps that's my problem. Caring too much.

    Thank you for all your posts everyone. Some of them were quite helpful.

    But for now, I am going back to doing what I do. Not talk about it.

    If this experience has shown me anything, the stereotype of a bunch of women in a room is very true.

    Thank you to those who stood up for me.
    Hey - I hope all goes well for you and that you are ok.

    You can get a mod to close the thread if you want - you won't get any more comments and you have all the info you need. Just report a post.

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (30-05-2016)

  11. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    I'm pulling back from this thread.

    I have reached out for help on an issue that is a serious one and very destructive.

    I do not feel comfortable with a male fertility Dr. or Gynaecologist. Simple.

    Except for a select few of you who have actually helped me to dig and think and you would know who you are, all I have received is nastiness, judgement and to be told I have a problem. No **** Sherlock. That's why I'm ****ing here.

    Spent the day talking to women I don't know? Nay, I spent the day talking to people I thought might be able to help me make my partners life easier because of a problem that I have. She was sitting right next to me the whole day. We had a lazy day inside.

    And how dare any of you to mention a fear of me having a daughter. I don't know exactly what you were getting at, but if you were a man saying that to my face it would have earned you a very broken nose. I care for my family deeply, including my two nieces who are 1 and two years old, that are left in my care frequently. I will kill any person that aimed to harm them.

    Perhaps that's my problem. Caring too much.

    Thank you for all your posts everyone. Some of them were quite helpful.

    But for now, I am going back to doing what I do. Not talk about it.

    If this experience has shown me anything, the stereotype of a bunch of women in a room is very true.

    Thank you to those who stood up for me.
    I hope you're ok too Luv.

    I wish you & your Lady all the best for the future.

    Ignore all the "do gooder, over the top, PC types" on here. They go looking for things that aren't there & make mountains out of mole hills ALL THE TIME!!!😁😁😁

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  13. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silver flute View Post
    And you have shown us that the stereotype of a man who resorts to violence when he hears something he doesn't like is true. In one post, you have managed to make a death threat, threaten to break someone's nose and implied that all women are nasty b*tches. What do you expect people on the Internet to do other than tell you you need professional help? If you know you have a problem, go and talk to a professional about it, as the overwhelming majority of posts have suggested. In a predominantly female forum, the concern is always going to be for your wife and your latest post has done nothing to allay those concerns. Nobody on the internet can truly help you...if you really want to do something, be proactive and stop looking for an armchair solution.
    I would kill for my children. Wouldn't you?

    I love these two girls like they are my own. I'm not going to stand and talk someone to death if they aimed to harm them.

    As for the broken nose, I stand by that. How might you react if someone were to cleverly cover up the implication that you were some sort of pedophile? I'm not sure that's what it was, but that's how I read it.

    I doubt you would react favourably to that.

    As for the stereotype, the only ones who would be offended by this in the thread would be those that fit the bill. I highly doubt that any one of the people here that have been helpful, calm and objective would be offended by that statement.

    I stand by my post.

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  15. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    What exactly are you implying by that?? What is it that makes you uneasy??

    Treading on thin ice if your mind is going in the direction I think it is.
    It's hasn't gone "there"...

    It's the possessiveness and ownership in his "tone" which needs to be discussed with a professional.

    Re: children, similar to other posters, what if a daughter required a male doctor for whatever reason?

    What if his wife, god forbid, needed emergency care by a male GP during labour?

    It is not "normal" to sexual medical procedures. And I'm not convinced this stems from inadequacy due to MFI.

  16. #110
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    Seriously threats against a poster for saying he couldn't be trusted around his own children because others feel uncomfortable about his honesty?

    This thread makes me pretty sad. Yes the initial posts by the op were a bit odd but appreciating the context of his situation I now have a lot of sympathy for him. He has acknowledged his feelings about male doctors is not normal. He is looking for help.

    Unless you have been through IVF particularly for MFI the judging is completely unnecessary.

    And yep if anyone told my husband he needs to be watched around his own daughters I'd wager he'd probably feel like breaking their nose too.

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