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  1. #41
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    There are lots of women out there who lie to the courts and keep the kids and ex (kids father) away from one another. I've seen it personally with my own family!

    K has messaged me and a few other mutual friends and we (especially him) are all confused as to why she has done this.

    Lots of people on here are saying "he must be violent.. You don't know him well"
    I know both very well. She's the violent one. She's admitted (gloated!) about getting into fights!
    Believe it or not there are women who abuse too! There are mothers who go to any extremes to make sure the ex doesn't see his kids even if she has to lie!

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybeeno1 View Post
    You've hit the nail on the head. But having been through this. There are options at the first hearing, he can appear and ask for an extension to prepare which will be granted. When he goes back the 2nd time he can either plead guilty then the DVO will be granted or not guilty if in this case it goes to trial and both parties need to be present. For the M she would of had to of made and paid for application then Gone to court without him even knowing and have presented all of her evidence before the magistra for them to even consider it going forward. This is exactly how mine was in 2012. I had multiple folders of pictures of myself, police reports, statements and even letters from the Ex writing abusive letters to myself, my child and my family.
    It may be slightly different in different states or circumstances on how the dvo court works.
    I know with our local coirt, the person accused of it pleads guilty or not guilty on the first day in court, or the Judge would be more inclined to ask if they agree with the dvo being in place, if they say no, then the Judge will give them a new date to go to court again, to both plead their sides and bring in their witnesses. Basically the trial. They like to fast track all the cases.

    In the meantime the mother in this case could already have the temporary dvo in place, i can't recall if the OP said that she did or not.
    If so the friend will have to abide by it and if he is found wrongly accused in court, then the temporary dvo no longer exists.

    I'm sorry you experienced DV and am glad you got out of it :thumbup:

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    His wife is from Chile. She has mentioned wanting to go back there.

    K has never had any criminal history or on drugs or anything. He is recovering from cancer too (he's in remission).
    Your friend would be wise to mention the fact she has spoken of going back to Chile to his lawyer and that she is from there, if he hasn't already discussed that with the lawyer.
    She could be planning on leaving once the youngest is discharged from hospital. Does she have family support over there or in Australia?
    It's scary how many parents apply for a false dvo, then vanish with the children, having used the dvo on false allegations to pull the wool over the other parents eyes.
    Not saying she is, as ofcourse we don't know what could be going on here, but it does happen!

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  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    There are lots of women out there who lie to the courts and keep the kids and ex (kids father) away from one another. I've seen it personally with my own family!

    K has messaged me and a few other mutual friends and we (especially him) are all confused as to why she has done this.

    Lots of people on here are saying "he must be violent.. You don't know him well"
    I know both very well. She's the violent one. She's admitted (gloated!) about getting into fights!
    Believe it or not there are women who abuse too! There are mothers who go to any extremes to make sure the ex doesn't see his kids even if she has to lie!
    I have seen it happen first hand myself too and also have another friend who is still waiting for her child to be returned to Australia after the other parent vanished overseas with their child a few years ago to be with another person.
    The court has granted the child must be returned, that the parent here has parental rights etc, but getting the child back is harder than some people think. It has now been a good few years since this child was taken

  7. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    We dated in highschool when we were 15. We didn't do anything sexual (just kissed) and we've both had several relationships after that. I'm happy with my partner (apart from a few issues, which I didn't mention to said ex/friend) and he (up until now) was happily married.
    We've been friends longer than bf/gf. We dated a year. I've been with my current partner almost 4 years. He's been married 8/7 years. I was also engaged to my ex for years too.
    Believe it or not ex's (especially after
    18 years) can be friends!
    Hang on isn't your partner verbally abusive to your kids? In which case:
    - you used to date K
    - his marriage is ended
    - your relationship is rocky
    - you are having private chats about his? relationship

  8. #46
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    Chile is a signatory to the Hague convention. She can't just disappear there without repercussion ie being mandated to send the children back to Australia. Remember the case of the Italian sisters a few years ago.

    In addition, the stats for women falsely accusing men of DV are very low. I read an article that indicates that men are more likely to make false claims about DV than women. Will post the link if anyone is interested.

    OP I would stay out of and just leave it to the courts.

  9. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hang on isn't your partner verbally abusive to your kids? In which case:
    - you used to date K
    - his marriage is ended
    - your relationship is rocky
    - you are having private chats about his? relationship
    So whst are you saying??
    Partner and I are working on things. And he knows I've spoken to K.

  10. #48
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    I still think like of other posters you need to stay out of this. You shouldn't be putting any of this on any form of social media at all. It's not your place it's not your business to do so. If I was going through this again in my life (once was enough) I'll tell you this I wouldn't be happy camper if someone was posting about my life for strangers to read because how do you know she the his wife is not on bubhub reading all of this. You don't know because you cannot possibly know every single intimate detail about their relationship. My bestie in the entire world doesn't know everything about my relationship because that is private and intimate and for no one else to know. Stay out of it as it's not your business but there's to sort out and beside you should not be talking to him about intimate details of his life he needs to talk to his mates not an ex from years ago

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  12. #49
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    Default Need advice for a friend..

    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    So whst are you saying??
    Partner and I are working on things. And he knows I've spoken to K.
    Hun you have a big heart however I think you have trouble drawing appropriate boundaries and sticking to them. Which (like with this case) could continue to get you in trouble.

  13. #50
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    He's deactivated his FB for a bit.
    He said he'll let all know (he messaged me and a few others on FB) how court goes in a few weeks.


 

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