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  1. #1
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    Default Need advice for a friend..

    Please remove to appropriate place if not appropriate here...

    My (male) friend K has been married to his wife M for 7 years. They hsve two children. A 2 year old and a newborn.
    M had complications with her pregnancy. Their baby was born very prem (born just before 24 weeks).. As far as I know baby is doing ok in hospital..

    Now K has messaged me on FB saying he's devistated because M has put on an intervention order on him making false accusations. He can't see his kids or her.
    There's a court date in a few weeks.

    Now I know I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but I know what K is like. I've known him since highschool and know for a fact he isn't violent or aggressive, he's a bit of a "pussy"

    He told me he didn't see anything like this happening.. All was good. They saw tjeir newborn in hospital the night before.. 2 year old had his first day of daycare. He left for work and when he got him the locks were changed..

    I suggested to him that she could hsve post natal depression and just needs a clear head. They are both stressed about the premature birth (it was hard for them to get pregnant and had to rely on ivf because K had cancer years ago)..
    Sorry if I'm not making sense, but what can I do?

    How can I help my friends? I don't want to intervene or anything but at the same time I can't just sit back and watch him go into depression over this?

  2. #2
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    Really you can't do anything. He needs to see a family lawyer ASAP and sort this out so he can see his kids or get the restraining order lifted.

    You can be sympathetic, offer an ear and a shoulder to cry on but these allegations are serious and he needs to get a lawyer. I always found when I was a family lawyer knowledge and power for clients was the best remedy.

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  4. #3
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    He has a lawyer. Going to court June 14th. He has proof/evidence allegations aren't true.

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    He has a lawyer. Going to court June 14th. He has proof/evidence allegations aren't true.
    Well hopefully it will turn out ok.

    If she is depressed or has PND I would try and stay out of it and just be supportive.

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    Yeah for sure...

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    Please remember that people can be very very different behind closed doors. We knew a couple very well and were shocked to hear they had seperated due to domestic violence, he came across as an incredibly caring loving gentle husband. The truth was an emotionally and physically abusive man who had no regard for his wife.

    While I hope your friend is wrongly accused it's important to remember not everything is always as it seems.

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  9. #7
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    Yeah I understand...
    I'm just saying I've known him since he was 15. Never been violent or agressuve. We dated for a year in year 10.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    Yeah I understand...
    I'm just saying I've known him since he was 15. Never been violent or agressuve. We dated for a year in year 10.
    Never been violent or aggressive in your presence. It is this "he couldn't possibly do it" attitude that makes women feel trapped.

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    It may be that the police instigated the order due to disclosures made? Try to make sure you are fully informed so you can support your friends based on accurate information.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    Never been violent or aggressive in your presence. It is this "he couldn't possibly do it" attitude that makes women feel trapped.
    This. My step father was charming, sweet and the perfect husband to everyone. In our home he was a monster

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