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24-05-2016 16:50 #21
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24-05-2016 16:54 #22
Controlled Crying study
I have done sleep training with both my kids. It worked well for DD but DS's sleep is constantly getting messed up due to illness so we haven't had much opportunity to be consistent for long periods of time. If he's unwell I won't let him cry, he gets too worked up and it triggers his coughing & breathing problems. If he's not well he gets all the cuddles he wants/needs but unfortunately that means that when he's well he expects the same treatment!
So while I did do what some people would consider CC (I don't consider it that, but whatever), I didn't do it when they were little babies and never when unwell or had a completely reasonable reason for being unsettled (like teething, disrupted routine, new surroundings). I've never thought I was damaging my kids as I think I have been reasonable and caring in my approach. They know I'm there for them, but bedtime is bedtime and I'm not going to put up with them running riot until 9pm, refusing to nap when they really need it, or waking for hours in the middle of the night.
The article doesn't have any impact on me at all, I don't feel the need to justify my decisions and I don't need validation.
ETA: to be clear, I have never done CIO. I always go in periodically as needed to reassure and settle, and will sit in the room if needed.
Last edited by Cue; 24-05-2016 at 17:01.
24-05-2016 17:10 #23
DS2 woke every 45 minutes to 1 hour until over 18 months, he continued to wake every 2-3 hours until almost 3 and now at 3.5 years wakes 2-3 times a night still. As a newborn/infant/toddler as long as he was held or in physical contact with you he was ok. Left alone he went from calm to gagging, choking and vomiting hysterical in under 30 seconds. I tried EVERYTHING BUT leaving him to scream to help him sleep better - I'm sorry that if I had a whinge about that fact it would have exasperated you!!!
As for the OP no nothing in the article or research would have changed my mind with respect to DS2 - there is nothing that could convince me that leaving a hysterical vomiting infant would not cause damage. I didn't need anything with DS1 as he slept 6-8 hour blocks from 8 weeks old (whilst feeding on demand and bed sharing).
Does it change my attitude to CC use by others? No I don't like CC, I don't like that others use it BUT if it is what they chose to do then so be it, it's their family not mine.
24-05-2016 17:24 #24
Nope it's makes no difference to me. Pelt me with stones but one study doesn't prove a trend. You can find a study to prove anything. My mother's instinct said from my first child I couldn't allow my babies to cry. It didn't feel right, deep in my gut. Before I knew what AP or CCing was. For me it depends on specifics of CCing and how it's done as to whether it's damaging or not. Letting them have a grizzle, going in patting and shhhing, walking out, then repeating at larger intervals without having the baby distraught. No I really don't believe that's damaging in any sense. But letting the baby scream like Tizzy advocates (and yeah she does, she just uses euphamisms) - yes I believe that's damaging and no one study will shift that opinion.
And I should add my 3rd child who is a year old is a SHOCKING sleeper. He slept through the night from 9-12 weeks and hasn't slept through since. He wakes up to 10-15 times a night. I'm chronically sleep deprived so I get how it feels.
24-05-2016 17:31 #25
ETA - basically the premise of my original comment is that I find it exasperating when people continually complain about an issue, but don't try anything to help the situation (obviously there are exception to this, eg. Where MI issues are involved, etc).
Last edited by Frankenmum; 24-05-2016 at 17:34.
24-05-2016 17:49 #26
24-05-2016 17:53 #27
I tried it a bit with DS but I found it really distressing. As someone who researches the crap out of everything one study means bugger all to me. One day a study proves this and a month later a study proves something else.
DS was a bad sleeper and I ended up putting the cot next to my bed and dealing with it for 3 years.
CC made me really anxious and it didn't feel right to me. But I guess each to their own
Last edited by Janesmum123; 24-05-2016 at 17:55.
24-05-2016 17:54 #28
24-05-2016 18:04 #29
My comments today are probably also coloured by the fact that I spent 10 hours today listening to my mother complain ceaselessly about her shizzy relationship...the exact same complaints that she's been making for the last 6 years without doing anything about it! So my empathy levels are especially low today 😅 Anyways, totally OT!
24-05-2016 18:05 #30
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