The reference to a baby being left to cry whilst people are eating a meal.....
I know on many threads there has been advice given similar to this that with a difficult baby sometime you just need to let them cry so you can eat or shower, that a mum needs to look after herself first so she can look after baby.
Who knows people's reasons for doing things? Or how often it happens? The baby could of been like my first and just screamed all day every day for the first four months no matter what I did, maybe they just wanted to sit and eat a civilised hot meal with others for just one night for 30 minutes.....a remark such as "teaching it a lesson" could simply be venting their frustration, not them actually teaching it a lesson
As I said easy to judge but maybe trying to understand would be more helpful
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28-05-2016 03:51 #201
Controlled Crying study
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 28-05-2016 at 03:55.
28-05-2016 05:48 #202
Controlled Crying study
I also hope your PND improves. I have also had it and is horrific.
Might I suggest tho that maybe being more open about PND irl maybe a good way to support others ( as that seems really important to you ) . It's keeping mental illness in a shroud that ultimately stops some women seeking help and talking through their issues. From my own experience I found talking to my friends brought me out of some dark days.
All the best. I bow out also.
Last edited by amiracle4me; 28-05-2016 at 05:58.
28-05-2016 06:11 #203Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
28-05-2016 06:35 #204
I don't get offended on here. I just get annoyed.
28-05-2016 06:38 #205
28-05-2016 06:40 #206
You're right, people aren't open about PND. I think mostly it's for fear of judgment, thus further perpetuating the stigma. My point is if there was less judgment and extreme/harsh words about parenting choices that parents use to get through the tough times, then maybe people wouldn't be as inclined to keep it to themselves.
But I digress...
28-05-2016 06:45 #207
Anyway, thank you for your perspective, it's definitely made me rethink my own judgey thoughts on the situation.
28-05-2016 06:45 #208
I told this story in response to a PP saying they had never witnessed a parent training or leaving children to cry/scream for selfish reasons. Because let's be honest the advocates of training in here all sound like bloody good parents - they're doing it because they either need to for their own mental health OR they believe it's in their child's best interests.
BUT my response was to show there ARE people who are selfish, who do not care and who insist their child will fit into their lives.
The example given led to the end of a 10 year friendship - I was well aware of this person's motivations she was one of my closest friends. There was no PND, there was no breakdown. Dad did as he was told, mum had no intention of adjusting her lifestyle for a baby - hence the dinner party for 10 with a 5 day old baby.
These people do exist but no one has said they are here debating on this thread.
28-05-2016 06:59 #209
28-05-2016 07:12 #210
We hardly talk now. There are lots of reasons beyond the way she parented that we've drifted apart, but it certainly was one of the reasons.
Parents aren't going to admit they let their kids scream until they are sick. Doesn't mean they aren't out there.
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