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  1. #1
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    Default is this normal?

    I'm almost 3 months pp and I still seem to be extremely emotional when I think about the birth of ds. like not depressed or sorrowful but just very emotional, to the point of tears. it seems to happen mostly when I put on the soundtrack of music we had playing in the labour suite.

    I'm not concerned but just wondering if others feel this way about their birth experiences?

    it was just such a special time, the last time dh and I were just us two and we had no idea what lay before us. I don't know, I just look back and the whole experience is very emotionally charged. a part of me wishes I could go back and relive it again to, I don't even know what, enjoy it more?

    anyway not sure where I'm going with this but just keen to hear from others and how they feel re their birth experiences. particularly their first (ds is our first).

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    Do you have regrets about how your birth panned out?

    I think sometimes with our first birth we may be go with the flow or we don't know better/different but after the birth we wish it could be different.

    Is that kinda what you feel?

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Do you have regrets about how your birth panned out?

    I think sometimes with our first birth we may be go with the flow or we don't know better/different but after the birth we wish it could be different.

    Is that kinda what you feel?
    I don't know, it's really hard to put into words!

    it's not sadness for how it panned out (emergency cs) as I had no control over that. but then maybe I am sad as we'd gone in with a set of hopes/expectations and it didn't end up that way.

    of the birth experience itself, there's nothing I'd change as everything that happened that I would change was out of my control anyway (meconium in the waters, lots of ctg monitoring, no water birth, syntocin drip turn emergency cs).

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I don't know, it's really hard to put into words!

    it's not sadness for how it panned out (emergency cs) as I had no control over that. but then maybe I am sad as we'd gone in with a set of hopes/expectations and it didn't end up that way.

    of the birth experience itself, there's nothing I'd change as everything that happened that I would change was out of my control anyway (meconium in the waters, lots of ctg monitoring, no water birth, syntocin drip turn emergency cs).
    I think its normal. I think birth is such an unknown but such a powerful thing that until you go through it you do not realise how much it affects you.

    It may be worth talking it over with someone. Maybe what you need is just to deconstruct it or get it all out. Maybe its just time you need but for me it was normal.

    I have gotten to the stage where I wish maybe things were a little different. That I should not have induced. That I would have spent more time being calm and not panicking and I should have moved around more.

    They aren't even big things! And I had a great birth otherwise with no complications.

    I guess it was different than the birth I imagined and it just takes time to get used to and accept?

    Also, you are still pumped full of hormones so things like the song will bring on emotions.

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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I think it's normal, 2.5 years later and I still get teary when I see the photos! I'm so excited to do it all again, even though his birth was different to what I expected it was the best day of my life.

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    ok glad to hear it's not just me lol

    I've considered seeing someone to talk it through but there's nothing really to talk over. like it was reasonably straightforward. although it didn't go as per my birth plan, it's not like there was anything wildly traumatic or unforeseen that really threw me off. the medical staff talked me through everything and the possibility of cs was brought up as soon as I was admitted. so everything that happened I had time to consider and talk over with dh. at no point were we pressured into anything or pushed into something I wasn't comfortable with without adequate time to discuss and think it over.

    I admit the calm birth classes we did kind of set me up for this experience I wanted that didn't happen and I'm a bit sad about that but I think I've made peace with that now. I realise now getting so caught up and attracted to an ideal experience was a bit naive.

    as you say, I think the whole experience was more powerful than I thought it would be and has affected me much more than I ever thought possible.

    maybe I just need to cry it out and allow myself to be swept away with emotion lol. maybe dh and I need to discuss it together? we've not really had a moment to ourselves since the birth to debrief?

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    I personally think it is normal when you've had a birth that you completely didn't expect.

    I felt emotional occasionally when I reflected on DS's birth (emergency c-section/premature birth) for a few months afterwards. Nothing serious, just little pangs of sad every now and again. The main thing that I found a bit sad was that I would not be ever able to experience a VB if I had another baby (I was cut vertically and horizontally).

    In due course, I just accepted it.

    If it was something that was upsetting you on a daily basis, I'd suggest looking into some counselling. Doesn't sound like this is the case though, so it's likely that over the course of time the emotions will settle down.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I think it's normal, 2.5 years later and I still get teary when I see the photos! I'm so excited to do it all again, even though his birth was different to what I expected it was the best day of my life.
    awwww. I feel the same way! we didn't get any pics of ds being lifted out of me (didn't think of it at the time and dh is squeamish anyway lol) so our only pic from the birth is the 3 of us in recovery afterwards. at the time I think I felt a bit numb but looking back it makes me teary 💜

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    I still get teary thinking about #1 birth and that was 21 yrs ago. I look at my son and think how close we came to losing him during labour and I thank god every day for the Drs and nurses who revived him at birth .. It's something I'll never forget

    The same with #2 born 6 weeks prem. I'm lucky to have her!

    Personally I think it's part of being a mum

    Embrace it, enjoy the happy tears.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    I still get teary thinking about #1 birth and that was 21 yrs ago. I look at my son and think how close we came to losing him during labour and I thank god every day for the Drs and nurses who revived him at birth .. It's something I'll never forget

    The same with #2 born 6 weeks prem. I'm lucky to have her!

    Personally I think it's part of being a mum

    Embrace it, enjoy the happy tears.
    oh Louise, that must've been tough with your ds having to be revived. how scary.

    thanks for sharing your story x


 

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