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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    How do you know she is happy, loved and looked after, loved and looked after yes, likely, but happy? How do you know that?

    How will she feel when she's older and finds out her parents did that?

    Also how do you know she has lots of time with her parents. They both work during the week do they not?

    There are so many things we don't know.

    I just worry about their child when she grows up. I'd feel pretty **** if my parents left me with my grandparents for 2 nights a week every single week. It's a recipe for emotional issues when she's older IMO.
    You can say that about anything though can't you? How do you know a child who's been in daycare for 10+ hours a day since a baby, 5 days a week wouldn't feel the same. Or kids that have to do longer days than their parents at work in before and after school care 5 days. I'm not having a dig at any of those arrangements at all but it's still similar time. At least if she's with her grandparents she's with family, and in a home environment.

    None of those senarios would work for me, but it's not my family. It obviously works for them. Could also be a cultural thing too, where it's normal for the grandparents to take the child often.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    How do you know she is happy, loved and looked after, loved and looked after yes, likely, but happy? How do you know that?

    How will she feel when she's older and finds out her parents did that?

    Also how do you know she has lots of time with her parents. They both work during the week do they not?

    There are so many things we don't know.

    I just worry about their child when she grows up. I'd feel pretty **** if my parents left me with my grandparents for 2 nights a week every single week. It's a recipe for emotional issues when she's older IMO.
    A recipe for emotional issues? Really? A child is going to have emotional issues cause two nights a week it spent time with doting grandparents (and yep...I'm going on the assumption that they are doting grandparents). My parents rarely sent us for sleepovers with family, but I have so many friends who regularly had sleepovers with their grandparents as kids and there's no emotional issues...just an absolute ton of love expressed when they talk about how much their grandparents mean to them.

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  5. #53
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    Don't your parents and in laws look after your kids during the day @A-Squared?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Not at all. 7-7 sleeping children would not work at all with my life and the needs of my family. But go ahead. Make fun.
    how can that not work? I'd adjust my lifestyle as much as I needed to accommodate a bub who slept that well!! wasn't having a go either...

  7. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    how can that not work? I'd adjust my lifestyle as much as I needed to accommodate a bub who slept that well!! wasn't having a go either...
    Quite easily -

    We have family commitments that have us out late every Saturday and some times during the week.

    We need the whole household up and functioning by 6.30/7am daily at the latest this year. Last year I had to have both kids at daycare at 6.15am for me to work.

    My kids nap at 4&6yo still.

    We are a GWTF family. Routine would kill us and our overall happiness.

    Happy?

  8. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Quite easily -

    We have family commitments that have us out late every Saturday and some times during the week.

    We need the whole household up and functioning by 6.30/7am daily at the latest this year. Last year I had to have both kids at daycare at 6.15am for me to work.

    My kids nap at 4&6yo still.

    We are a GWTF family. Routine would kill us and our overall happiness.

    Happy?
    why are you getting defensive? I was genuinely asking the question.

    I know you are GWTF, I remember the thread about it.

    I think it's great you're like that!

    I just think a little bit of routine is good too, as adults we have our lives dictated by routine. I know with kids that tends to go out of the window but a little bit of routine is good for sleep and helping parents feel rested.

    I know I function pretty crappily on little sleep!

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  10. #57
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    I imagine RAH feels defensive because it was implied she was jealous of people who's children sleep 7-7, which was nothing more than a snarky comment.
    From what RAH has said in the past her kids get stacks of sleep...and so what if they're a family who stays up late and then naps? If it's causing harm then best go let all the countries who have siestas know they're destroying whole populations. I can assure you that us putting our kids to bed by 8pm for one 10-12hr sleep is a crazy, ridiculous concept and they can't believe we miss out on all that time together as a family, and comment that it's no wonder our kids get stroppy in the last couple of hours before bed when they are expected to stay up ALL.DAY! 😃

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  12. #58
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    Meh my kids goto Childcare three days a week (well until I had to move). And I didn't even work. Then on weekends went to grandparents sometimes.

    They are so emotionally scared.... Not. Lol

    I think they would be more scared if my frustrations of PND/anxiety got in Way and I exploded etc and took it out on them. I'm not meant to be a SAHM. Simple really.

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  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Don't your parents and in laws look after your kids during the day @A-Squared?
    Only my DS, yes. While I'm at work. Earning money. 3 days. I see my children each and every day.

    If my kids looked back and saw I did that for the sake of their grandparents (to spend time before they die) and to provide them with the best life I could, I'm sure they would be fine and could understand. If I did it so that I could have me time and couples time with DH, I could see they would get upset.

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  16. #60
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    Why would that upset them? Are they being mistreated?

    You had your folks look after your dd earlier so she didn't have to go to CC for a bit. From memory they also looked after your DD whilst you were on mat leave.

    What's the difference????

    It's grandparent care. For whatever reason.

    Dh and I spent a 1.5yrs working opp shifts to avoid CC. We barely saw each other in waking hours. Never mind actually sleeping in the same bed. The sort of system Rachel has organized would have been brilliant for us. We would have had some valuable alone and together time.

    I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it.


 
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