It's hard not to judge because we've all got our own version of what a parent should be. Its probably tinged with a bit of envy (I'm in the once a month would be lovely camp!)
My very wealthy friend works full time, has a full time nanny and still eats out and socialises 4-5 times a week. I find that full on but I don't really care it's what she enjoys.
My MIL can't understand how I am going on a 3 day girls weekend leaving my 2yo (first one ever - how dare I?) so matter what your never going to make everyone approve of you.
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12-05-2016 20:19 #51Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
- Adelaide, SA
13-05-2016 06:30 #52
I personally think it's important for a couple to spend time together, one on one, without the kids. This is just as important as going to work. I read an article about this today and I like the way the writer put it:
"Grandma gets to build a lovely relationship with her granddaughter. Mum and dad get to exchange their trackies for leather jeans and silky blouses and see each other as something other than cereal-smeared co-habitees.
Indeed, they probably even get to have sex — slow, lingering, “God, you’re hot” sex — not the crazed, charmless, rudimentary bonk that’s administered in the four minutes before the ad break in Peppa Pig. Goodness, they may even manage to conceive another child, thereby providing Violet with a sibling."
It wouldn't work for us to have our boys away from home for 2 nights in a row, I would miss them too much. But Rachel finch and her husband spend more time with their daughter than my husband and I spend with our boys. And if I'm being generous, we spend maybe one full day a week together as a family.
Every family is different and different arrangements work for different people. I don't think it's fair to judge them and some of the comments here really make me cringe.
13-05-2016 08:51 #53
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13-05-2016 09:02 #54
Despite having 4 kids DH and I go out at least twice a month now. We have a very healthy life away from our kids. I agree it reinvigorates us and makes us enjoy them more.
Do I care that she has 2 nights a week away from her daughter? No. Would I do the same? Not in a million years.
13-05-2016 09:06 #55
I don't get the comparison between sending your kid to childcare so you can work/study to better the family and palming off your child each weekend so you and your partner can have couple time and a sleep in. Obviously having couple time is important, but surely when you decide to start a family you realise that the majority of your couple time will evolve into family time.
DP and I have had a few weekends away since our 5 year old arrived but if he suggested sending the kids away for the weekend every week I would be seriously questioning his maturity and readiness to parent.
13-05-2016 09:11 #56
Rachael Finch under fire - MIL babysits child every weekend
I honestly think that women need to be more supportive of each other & feel the need to criticise other Mum's choices less. If it works for them & their child is happy I think it's great.
I've got four close friends who regularly catch up with our kids. None of us make the same decisions or parent the same way when it comes to our kids but I think that's a good thing. In that bunch alone we have a full time stay at home Mum, a full time working mum who puts baby in day care full time, a part time Mummy & me who is on maternity leave. We're all so different & make different choices.
I feel bad that so many people are openly judging her for something that is the right fit & works for their family.
13-05-2016 09:51 #57Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
I say good on her. They have a work/relationship/family balance that works well for them and their daughter is cared for by people who love her. Rachel Finch has her village. Go her.
13-05-2016 10:03 #58
13-05-2016 10:17 #59
If it were 4-5 days of child care for a parent to do as they please and get leisure time this is different IMO and yes I would judge - inwardly - I would never actually tell a parent I disagreed with it. Nor do I think it makes them a bad person or a bad mum, just a bit selfish.
13-05-2016 10:33 #60
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