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  1. #21
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    My advice is maybe look at anothe centre too if he has anxiety.

    Also take him to a GP and get him to a psychologist to work on his behaviour. They can help you with strategies on what you can do to make him feel more independent etc.

    Two days a week didn't work for my kids they had to go full time. Also my kids never ate at care I mean a few bites of this and that, there yoghurt. They were too busy playing!! Do u get reports? Our centre is on an APP. What centre worked for your other kids won't necessarily work for this child

  2. #22
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    Could a psychologist treat a 3 year old? I did consider this but I (perhaps wrongly) assumed he was too young.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by just her chameleon View Post
    Could a psychologist treat a 3 year old? I did consider this but I (perhaps wrongly) assumed he was too young.
    I was having 'issues' with my eldest at daycare when he was 3 and GP gave us a referral to a paediatrician. Which sparked a range of help (wasn't child psych but could have been). DS is now improved,.

  4. #24
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    Default DS and kindy issues

    I'm in the same boat as RmumR.

    Dd1 (3) goes every Friday since March. She won't eat AT ALL and comes home starving. I need to stay and play with her for 15 or so minutes at drop off otherwise she loses it. I do short hours too, 930-230.

    I did consider pulling her out but the carers reassured me her behaviour is completely normal (apart from not eating but she's a dreadful eater anyways).

    She's a complete mummy's girl too, ok with dh and grandparents but would prefer me any day and always needs my company and interaction ALL DAY LONG.

    So you are not alone. As I hang around a bit at the centre with dd1 I see many other parents continuing to struggle with drop offs, especially at the 3 year mark.

    Overall though she says she enjoys it. I would persist with it especially if you need that time, it's only 2 days a week and he's hardly being traumatised. He sounds quite normal and just loves his mummy xx

    Eta: my dd1 spends all day at daycare clutching her blankie but doesn't need it at home.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 07-06-2016 at 08:10.

  5. #25
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    You said you were considering pulling him out - reading what you've written, I think if it was me, and it was doable, I would definitely pull him out. If he's only just turned 3, that is still very young, and very understandable that he wants to be with you. It must be very upsetting for everyone going through this every week, especially since you sound like you've been trying so hard to ease the way for the little guy.

    I admit, every time I hear that caregivers say "he settles in 10 minutes after you've gone" I wonder if it's just that they, the carers, have moved onto other things and if the child is crying/complaining less that translates to "they've settled". Of course they want to try to reassure the child, and the parent, but I wonder if it's easier to not make a fuss and just say it's fine. You know whether your own child is coping or not, and in your case, you are clearly upset and worried, and you said your husband is against taking your son out? Why does he think this?

    I think that as parents, we can't and shouldn't pander to ever difficulty a child has, that's for certain, we do have to try to build resilience - but at just 3, they're still very reliant on you and that's completely natural and normal, especially considering that a more emotional or sensitive child may always find challenges in life harder than a different personality. I just don't think we should turn these normal reactions in little kids into some kind of disorder that has to be treated by doctors or others. Your child being upset when you leave them, when they're 3, doesn't mean they have something wrong with them - they just love you and need you!

    All the best!

  6. #26
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    At age 3, I'd pull him out.

    Some kids just can't deal. My eldest was hard work at 3yo kindy, ds2 was completely different- he cried coz he couldn't stay longer at kindy!

    If he's really that unhappy, yep, I'd pull him out. Try another centre or keep him at home if you can. He obviously needs mum for security.

    Sorry to hear things haven't improved.

  7. #27
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    DH mainly thinks we are prolonging the inevitable. Like if we try again next year or even the year after he'll still be upset and crying and we should perservere now in the hope that he gets better. He also knows if would be tough on me trying to do assignments and study for uni with him home. I can see his point, but I just feel terrible for putting DS through this every week.

  8. #28
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    Does he need to be in kinder?
    Keep him home with you.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by just her chameleon View Post
    DH mainly thinks we are prolonging the inevitable. Like if we try again next year or even the year after he'll still be upset and crying and we should perservere now in the hope that he gets better. He also knows if would be tough on me trying to do assignments and study for uni with him home. I can see his point, but I just feel terrible for putting DS through this every week.
    I am torn and what to advise as I have an anxious kid. We started care earlier (he has been in since 11 months) and he is mostly ok now. That is over 2 years of crying drop offs. The only suggestion I can think of is getting a referral to a child psych. They can help your DS with the anxiety and strategies to help.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by just her chameleon View Post
    DH mainly thinks we are prolonging the inevitable. Like if we try again next year or even the year after he'll still be upset and crying and we should perservere now in the hope that he gets better. He also knows if would be tough on me trying to do assignments and study for uni with him home. I can see his point, but I just feel terrible for putting DS through this every week.
    Would you rather your son happy and safe though? I've got 4 kids home all day everyday (we do leave the house) and I have studied off and on.it can be done.


 

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