My DS just turned 3 yesterday. He's been in kindy since last September, he still cries hysterically when I leave but he does settle quickly (within 5-10min).
He barely eats at kindy. We've just started toilet training him and at home he's had only a handful of accidents and is even dry 9/10 times at night already. But at kindy he refuses to use the toilet to the point where they make the call to put a nappy on at sleep time and sometimes he'll wee in his sleep, other times he wakes up dry and continues to hold until I get there. It can't be good to hold on for so long.
He also has moments throughout the day where he cries and gets upset. The staff are great with him and he talks about how much he loves it but I'm at a loss on why he eats so little and refuses to use the toilet?
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06-05-2016 18:56 #1
DS and kindy issues
06-05-2016 19:07 #2-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
DS and kindy issues
How many days does your DS go to kindy/daycare?
06-05-2016 19:13 #3
Two days a week, Thursday and Friday.
06-05-2016 19:26 #4
Maybe he feels scared, I'm a belieber that kids sense things.
You could make your own food at home & take it, make it together, a sandwich, some fruit.
Is there a place in the kinder where you can stay and watch for 20min? Maybe another child is making him unhappy?
Maybe he is over whelmed.
Does he know anyone in there?
The staff should be looking at this and trying to work it out and pass you feedback.
06-05-2016 19:29 #5
It sounds like he is quite anxious there if he isn't eating or using the toilet. I would try and focus on settling his anxiety and hopefully the eating/toileting will come once he's more comfortable.
06-05-2016 19:32 #6
I think he is definitely anxious and overwhelmed. I'm just not sure how to fix it
His older brother is there the pre-prep room, and was there all last year. His sister also went there. So we've been going there for a long time. He has separation anxiety (his first solo swimming lesson this week was a nightmare, even though I'm there it's not enough he just wanted cuddles).
I was there for 2 hours today between my two boys rooms for mothers day morning tea. He went to the toilet fine for me but barely ate. His favourite food is grapes but he only had 2 or 3 and then didn't want to eat anymore. This was even with me there He did eat more later in the day, but still nowhere near what he would eat at home.
06-05-2016 20:02 #7
That must be really tough for you. Perhaps the staff could start by doing some detailed observations to help get an indication of what situations, etc might be contributing to his anxiety? Maybe he just needs some more time?
06-05-2016 20:07 #8
I'll have another chat to them. Thinking more about it tonight, I feel like kindy is a symptom rather than the cause iykwim? He gets so upset when he's not with me, even being a metre or two away at swimming is not ok it worries me that he won't settle in because it's not actually about kindy it's more about being away from me if that makes sense?
06-05-2016 20:19 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Does he spend much time without you? As in, does his dad or anyone else ever look after him while you step out for a few hours, and does he act in the same way then?
It sounds like really bad separation anxiety.
Can his big brother come in to the kindy room a few times a day to hep him settle his nerves a bit?
Hope it passes soon OP x
06-05-2016 20:25 #10
Once or twice a week he'll go out with DH (dad) and he's totally fine. No issue at all. His big brother has a few 'issues' that we are working on but one thing in particular is his need for strict routine so interrupting him to bring him into his little brothers room won't work
It's really tough, because I know he loves it there, he says he's happy and he always runs up too everyone happily to give them a kiss and cuddle goodbye at the end of the day. But he can't seem to get over wanting me. Poor little guy it breaks my heart thinking of the tug of war he must be going through.
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