I always take my lead from the expectant mum - always show that I'm happy for them, & only acknowlwdge feelings for gender disappointment IF she expresses that first. That being said - I dont really get why people ask for friends to guess the gender, thus welcoming comments on the topic,then get annoyed about the comments or upset if most people guess the same gender? I have 3 kids of the same sex, & I couldnt br happier. No disappointment here. Some people made comment with the 3rd about 'oh, hoping for a boy *sad face', what a shame,oh well, etc,but I just laughed it off & said 'not at all, I'm thrilled with a 3rd girl'. I find if I show people I'm fine with it, they tend to follow suit.
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06-05-2016 21:13 #31
The Following User Says Thank You to cheeeeesecake For This Useful Post:
07-05-2016 11:00 #32
Firstly a huge congratulations on your pregnancy!
Like any sex, there is nothing 'wrong' with either, so please know that you don't need to question what's wrong with you having two boys.
I have four daughters, so I am sure you can imagine I know where you're coming from. I didn't find out the sex of my girls before they were born, so all of them were a surprise. I had so many comments I have honestly lost track, however the worse for me, was seeing the disappointment in others eyes when they knew I had had 'another' girl. Nevermind that I gave birth to 4 healthy children, I gave birth to 'another' girl, and apparently that was reason for commiseration from others.
I can still as clear as day picture the scene when I had an 8 day old DD3 in the pram, DH, myself and her sisters were all in a lift. In walked an older woman with her daughter. They both peered into the pram, smiling and asked what we had (bub was dressed all in white), so DH said a girl. At that moment and in front of everyone in the lift, the older woman put her arm around DH and said, "I am so sorry you didn't get your little boy" as her daughter was telling me such a shame it wasn't a boy. Here I was with a healthy 8 day old baby, perfect in every way, and there we both were being commiserated!
For the longest time I too, like you OP was upset by people's reactions, I could never understand (and still don't) why people felt the need to feel disappointment for me, but moreso for DH as apparently he didn't get the boy he wanted (he has never said anything along those lines ever).
But you know what, we are happy and that at the end of the day is ALL that matters, not what others think, and now, we cannot go out anywhere without people commenting on how lovely it is when they see all my little ducklings all together. If anything negative is ever said these days, I just say with a laugh, "I didn't get the boy recipe". Truth be known, unless you know me, you wouldn't know either way if I did or didn't have gender disappointment, so those who really know me, know that I never did and that is the honest truth.
Sorry for the waffling on! All the best with the rest of your pregnancy.
By Cobba86 in forum IVFReplies: 8Last Post: 06-05-2016, 14:44
By bendithion in forum pregnancy and babies through IVFReplies: 9Last Post: 09-04-2016, 00:03
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