I thought I would start a thread for those of us whose DHs/DPs are golf lovers. I know there are at least a few of us!
DH recently joined a golf club - right in time for the arrival of our second Bub. I had consented (he got an incredible bonus last year that he worked very hard for, it's only fair he be rewarded!), but kind of wish he had waited until the difficult newborn phase was over.
Anyway, here we are. I have already 'lost' my parents to golf many years ago and need to figure out how to keep things fair and balanced with regard to my DH. So far he is only playing once a week but it's basically a whole day and he travels for work during week so it is really annoying.
What things do you do to keep it 'fair'? Ie, do you have a hobby you are 'allowed' time off alone to attend each week?
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05-05-2016 06:22 #1
Golf widows unite!
05-05-2016 06:47 #2Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Golf widows unite!
My hubby would love for me to be a golf widow but it's just not practical with a 2 year old and a newborn and him already working long hours during the week.
As it is he only gets to play golf every couple of months. If there is an opportunity for him to then I encourage him to organise a game. I think if it's me suggesting he plays golf this weekend then he can't complain that I don't let him play.
For me golf is a hobby that you should take up seriously once youre retired/kids grown up. The beauty of it is that you can play it well into your old age. It takes a bloody long time to play a round of golf and I think it's unfair if men expect their wives to look after the kids solo every weekend while they are on the course.
Also when hubby does play I tell him to get the earliest time slot so he will tee off as soon as the light allows. This means he is often up and leaving before the kids are up and can then be home to help out in the afternoon.
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05-05-2016 06:54 #3
Ah. My thread. I'm a golf widow. DF plays most weekends and sometimes during the week. He plays with the guys he works with (they are a close little bunch..) he plays comps on weekends and sometimes a practice round or driving range during the week. He just ran out yesterday to go to the range after he dropped $1200 on new clubs!!! We are saving to move house mind you?! I'm so over being angry about it lol. DS LOVES golf. He's 2. Some times they go to the range and I get some quiet time. I don't have any hobbies, really need to find something. I get really annoyed because DF seems to put golf first some days. If there's a comp on everything has to work around it. We live about 25 minute drive from the golf course so it can be a really long day. We also only have 1 car so I'm stuck at home.. I am happy that he is something he enjoys and is good at but I also want some me time doing something that I have no idea what lol. I do admit some days when DS is at day care and DF has the day off we go to the golf course. I don't play, I drive a cart and laugh at him when he stuffs up. It's nice to relax with him and get out in the fresh air. We live where it gets really cold during winter so I won't be going out for a few months but I know he enjoys me getting involved.
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05-05-2016 06:58 #4
Oh I hear ya! My hubby plays every Saturday (which ends up being the whole day) and would like to play on Sunday but I have put a stop to that! He is a teacher so gets school holidays off and plays a lot then too! It probably doesn't help that we live about 300 metres from our local course (we can see it from our back fence). I don't really do anything every week but my girlfriends (their dh's play too) try and go out to either lunch or dinner every few weeks and we go on a shopping trip a few times a year (our closest myer etc is about an hour and a half away). It's unfortunately just one of those things that has become the norm in our family but I have to say I don't get a lot of down time!
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05-05-2016 07:02 #5
I forgot to say during the week he will often take the kids (5 and 3) to the driving range for half an hour or so but it's usually while I'm getting dinner started or trying to clean the house. He has taken our ds around the course a few times too (in the golf cart), which our ds loves!
05-05-2016 07:03 #6
It's a crazy sport huh, takes soooo much time. I too want to encourage him to have a hobby and it's good it's something he enjoys. I just want to feel I am getting time out for myself too! I can think of a billion things I would like to do but can't.
I'm going to start by booking in a yoga meditation course at the end of the month. It's 3 hours long (plus travel time, only 15 mins each way though). I will have to express and he'll be stuck with 2 kids, but I think it needs to be done?
I'm also joining the gym shortly. I will use mainly during week as they have a crèche but financially it probably adds up similar to a golf membership - or cheaper.
05-05-2016 07:21 #7
hey if you can't beat them, why not join them? 😂😂
- from a non-golf widow 😂
05-05-2016 08:19 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Yes my crazy DH bought a set of golf clubs when I was pregnant. Wtf? He used to play and thought he'd get back into it. The clubs are gathering dust in our spare room as he hasn't had the nads to go. He already plays sport twice a week and has three other hobbies which take up a lot of time. His knees are packing up though and he keeps saying he will stop sport and play golf instead. Yeah that's fine I say either take DD with you or I get the next day out by myself for the whole day. Fairs fair!! My sympathy to you all I'm not far off this I think.
I know @A-Squared is a golf widow too.
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05-05-2016 09:49 #9
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05-05-2016 11:03 #10
My DP plays cricket in summer, plus he watches every match that his boys play, even on kid free weekends, so I can sympathise with having a sport mad partner. I think I'd go nuts if it was year round, I freaking HATE how much time cricket takes up. It's an all day sport plus two training sessions (thankfully he rarely goes to training). Unfortunately he still plays in Melbourne, despite us moving 90 minutes from there, due to his boys living with his ex 56% of the time. I know it's important to him for his sanity as he works hard, so I've never actually told him that I hate that he plays, and that I hate that two of his boys play it. I literally hate it. Don't mind watching some cricket, and I do like watching DP play, but it's just so all consuming.
I'm seriously considering taking up horse riding on our kid free weekends next cricket season, if he chooses to play. Now that we live in the country there's lots of places to do horse riding, in fact the farm two doors down from ours has many horses and does trail riding with them. I just haven't made enquiries there yet, but definitely will.
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